Tirytory

I thought it was in his best interests to get his Diploma??? Maybe I need to research that further.

Tirytory

He has already expressed his desire to move home, independent of us.

BristolUK

Going back seems to be the right thing to at least try, and I see you're taking care of the citizenship side for keeping options open.

Brooks52

When I applied to U.K. universities in 2012 my Canadian High School Diploma was assessed as equivalent to A Levels. I believe it was the grade 12 classes that I was given credit for. I got offered places at both universities.

HGerchikov

That's a bit harsh! Just because you have a family it doesn't mean your happiness doesn't count. Tirytory has been on and off miserable for years and has put her own needs on the back burner to try to give everyone else a chance to figure out where they want to be. Generally speaking, happy parents have happy children, a year or two to get settled is fair enough but 8 years is a long time to feel like you don't belong. Clearly some compromises are going to have to be made, just have to figure out which ones will lead to the best outcome for you all. I don't believe one parent being unhappy for an extended length of time is the best outcome for anyone.

Piff Poff

I could have written much of what you had ( different career) I can only say what I wish we had done. I wish I hadn't been so set on not moving my daughter to a different school.

If I had our time again I would have packed us up and moved us back to the UK ( or tried a different Province) before my daughter left home.

scilly

I'm sorry that you think it harsh, it was just what jumped out at me.

Of course, I don't think that a mother should sacrifice her happiness for her husband or kids, just as she should never be subservient to him or them.

I'm probably one of the earliest feminists around, I grew up in a maternal society where mothers reigned dads had to obey them .......... and that was back in the 1940s and 50s. There were then only a few places where literally every family from the poorest to the richest was ruled by the woman.

I have always operated on the principle that everyone in the family deserves an equal vote in what is going to happen ............... that's from both parents down to the youngest child who has reached an age of being able to reason, often much younger than you'd think.

Plus I also have noticed how hard you have fought, and wondered if, like so many who return to the UK, you ended up in the wrong place, by accident. If so, that is so unfortunate, for you and the family.

scrubbedexpat133

It does seem that you have given it more than enough time to settle and feel happy. If after this long you feel the way that you do it’s unlikely to change. Apart from the obvious that the UK isn’t the country a lot of us left behind there are many positives that you listed that are personal vs the country as a whole which is more important.

Your kids will find there own way in life regardless of where you are.

I really feel for you and hope that things get better whatever you decide to do

Danny B

How does your teen in grade 11 feel about this? After 8 years he/she is pretty much a Canadian now, have you though about reverse culture shock? It could have a much longer lasting impact for him/her.

Tirytory

He’s really not! He’s keen to go home, and has announced a few months back that he intends to go home independent of us.

Every time we’ve gone home the kids have loved it, and are always keen to go back. We actually don’t go anywhere else, which I find really hard. I want to live there so we can spend our time actually visiting somewhere else.

Danny B

That's really good to hear, it sounds like you guys will be fine then. No point living a miserable life in Canada if you could be happier elsewhere.

As Confucius once said - “We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”

BEVS

FWIW.
You've done 8 years in a place that is not for you. Time to go home and try the fit there. It is your turn.
If that turns out to be not a good fit for you, your husband or your kids then you can rethink from there.
Life is far too short to have to always be battling the homesick, misfit thing. I should know , I've been doing this for nigh on 17 years.
Get the citizenship thing done and then get on with a whole new adventure & phase in your lives.

You really honestly do not want to be a me where there always seemed to be a window opening to effect a return somehow , only to wake up one day to see that widow has shut.

Good luck and best wishes.

scrubbedexpat091

I agree Bev, I have endured Canada for 17 years nothing but homesickness and wanting to be home, and if by a few years it hasn't gone away, it probably never will and as years pass you can become more and more resentful of the country your living in, sure if your only at the 1 year mark, give it a couple more year, by 8 years if your still feeling that way, eh it's never going to improve while things change at home, enough stays the same to always feel like home, that is how I feel about my home city, sure a lot has changed but at the same time, enough is the same so it's still home.

I do understand with tirytory kids complicate things a little more however, but as they say in many self help books, got to help yourself before helping others.

JamesM

I have no value to add to this conversation.

I just wanted to say hello and I hope you are well.

Get Citizenship for the whole family so your children can return should they ever want too. Otherwise make the leap :-)

Tirytory

Hello! I hope you’re gallbladder is healing well?! Citizenship is in progress. I checked the other day- application received in July and all check boxes are in progress.