feeling low!

Old Jan 28th 2009, 8:16 pm
  #31  
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Smile Re: feeling low!

Sorry you're feeling low and lonely.

I arrived in Georgetown at a similar time and it is hard. I too still don't have a job - previously worked in retail operations. Luckily my husband does (reason why we came) so we have no money worries.

I had been thinking the food etc was expensive too. I think it is partly because it will take a long time (if ever) to get used to the higher numbers so it feels like you are paying more. Also in our first shopping trips we were having to start from scratch and buying oil, seasoning, cleaning products which you only normally buy occasionally. We were starting to worry but now we are more established the costs have calmed down. I have also started shopping with a list which i never did before, shopping for specific meals and this does mean you buy exactly what you need, cutting on cost and waste when you get to the end of the week and have no idea how to put the food together.

We shop mainly at RC Superstore and A&P mainly because they are local to us. I know there are cheaper options. I am vegetarian and am loving the selection of fresh fruit and vegetables which most stores seem to show off really well. Hating all the wax used though to make them shine. Both the above sell tofu, soy products, and ready meals (although i haven't tried any). In my opinion they don't compare to the UK products although there is a large selection. They also don't sell quorn which i loved. they have loads of a product called tofurkey! i have had a good soya mince product with flavouring added so it self sauces for an easy meal. In general though i am using more beans and lentils and have the time to cook them properly to create good meals that my meat eating husband loves too so my indifference to the processed foods is a good thing.

A recommendation I can make is St Lawrence Market in Toronto centre. It is fun to wander round and do some of your shopping and has a good vegetarian and snack section downstairs - try the crepes. Also, I have been to an amazing Vegetarian restaurant in Toronto which i thought was really reasonable - $80 for 2 including main course, 1 dessert, 2 teas and a bottle of wine. They do tapas dishes so you choose a selection to share. It is really fresh and unusual but delicious. It is on Queen Street West (at Spadina) and called Fressen.

I know i need to get out and meet more people too but it is hard as I am naturally quite shy. However, the Canadians are all really friendly so I am going to make myself do it more. I have picked up some leaflets on art classes today from the library so will try to give one of them a go.

I have found keeping in touch with friends and family back home actually helps so Facebook and Skype have been a lifesaver.

Definitely a couple of months is not long enough to make a permanent decision. I am sure it took a lot longer to decide to come over. Before we arrived we had only been over during spring/summer. The wait will be worth it as they are much better than back home.

Take little steps - even just achieving one thing like going to a new park with your children or introducing yourself to someone new, even if it is the lady in the bank. They will add up and I am sure we will feel more settled.

Good Luck

xxx
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Old Jan 29th 2009, 2:22 am
  #32  
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Default Re: feeling low!

i know this probably sounds patronising as hell, and its not intended that way..but honey, thats culture shock talking. IT really is. Trust me, i've moved country six times, i know it when i hear it.

that doesn't make it any easier. What you can do to help yourself..especially with it being winter
- get condensed milk with added vitamin D. It will impact your mood, but you don't need a lot.
- get as much daylight as you can, ti will help.
- Going out will also get you in touch wiht people, which will be good for you.
- if you know anyone locally, invite them around or go around to theirs
- if you don't know anyone locally, try going to the library to use their pc (at least you'll get the walk and the company!) to job hunt,
- volunteer if you can't find work. Scouts always need poeple, as does reading hour in the library, first aid, etc.
- get out there and get doing. Exercise will make you feel better.
- you have a kid. Get kid into mum and kid groups, meet other mums and network.
Unemployment is rough, but you can do this.
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Old Jan 29th 2009, 2:34 am
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Default Re: feeling low!

OP

if it helps i kind of felt the same arriving in september, the month stage seems to be over the holiday period and everyone around is getting on with life

Seek out some mother and tot groups, ask at the local school, ask at doctors anywhere that may give you some info
also another way is connect to facebook, honestly there are groups on there in all areas and may help you to connect to other mothers.
This is the time you need to be making the kids feel settled, although sounds like one of them is loving it.

Try and pull away from the uk and dont look at the "moving backside" well not yet until you give it a chance, remember the reasons you moved and keep forused, as a mother i know where you are coming from, everyone is out doing 'there thing'

Don't worry we have all been where you are
Karma on its way
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Old Jan 29th 2009, 2:56 am
  #34  
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Default Re: feeling low!

Originally Posted by Bellanova
Hi Jinn, first of all I want to say I know EXACTLY how you are feeling right now!! I have felt all the same things you have and its horrible...... xx
That from Bellanova ................

Us too - We know EXACTLY how you feel......... Now listen this this!!!!

I wish you could read our posts from this time last year (they get blocked after a while) We arrived on 13th December 2007 and we hit shit big time, what could go wrong did go wrong. John was so depressed like I have never seen, it scared me! A grown man crying, no, more than that un controlled sobbing for hours. There was no one to help, no one gave a dam, no job, the rented house was crap and life was an absolute bitch. We very very nearly drove to the airport, dumped the brand new car and got on a plane...... But we didn't.

The year hasn't been the best in our lives but on Feb 29th we bought a house - On March the 6th John was offered a 2 bit crappy job crappy hours and crappy pay but accepted it. Things deffinately started to look up.

Now John still works for the same company, he has since been promoted and is 4th from the top in a job he loves. The boss flew in from Calgary on Monday to see him and offered him the chance to move to Alberta to take up a position 3rd from the top....... All this in less than a year.

Our turning point was the job, take what you can get - It wont be what you want but it will get you out of the house and gets you meeting people.

Nothing makes what you are feeling any better...... just yet - but hopefully you'll give it your best shot and remember that the UK isn't the best place in the world right now, even if it might seem like it.
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Old Jan 29th 2009, 12:39 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: feeling low!

wow you have had so many replies - how nice everyone is!

also sounds as if what you are going through is normal.

so we all want to know how are you today!!!

hope today is a better one for you - try some of their suggestions, little steps....
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Old Jan 29th 2009, 5:26 pm
  #36  
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Default Re: feeling low!

I've been through this, it is massive culture shock. It is not helped in your situation by a) you being a Londoner (moving out of London is a massive change even within the UK - I speak from experience) b) winter (it is hell).
My OH and I have been through such extremes of emotion on this immigration malarky (7 months now), I relate to the sobbing in previous post!! I find the culture/homesickness thing just rears up from nowhere, you think you're doing fine and then it grabs you and pulls you down to some really dark irrational places. The only thing you can do when this happens is tell yourself that the feelings will go away and when you wake up the next day it is a fresh start and you will feel better. This is probably the most testing thing you will ever do. I wonder often if we are masochists!!! But you will survive and remember it doesn't have to be forever.
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Old Jan 29th 2009, 10:31 pm
  #37  
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Default Re: feeling low!

Yes totaly understand how you feel we hit our low spot july 07 we landed feb 06 took 2 mths to get a job laid off after 6mths laid off for 3mths ended up in Fort Mcmurry there for 2mths came back to windsor vowing I will take any job going . Did not feel I had come all this way to be away from my family. Missed the UK, mum ,dad,friends, old job, chippy's,brown sauce. So may things because Canada is so different. Without even thinking of relocating to another part of Canada.We decide to go back to the Uk, we packed the container we packed off the dog and we booked our flights back.
Thousand spent but thousands wasted we got to Toronto away from Windsor we cleared our heads, depression lifted and we could see that going back was not the right move .We thought of WHY we came here and it was the kids, we wanted a better life for them. I got a job offer by email while we where in Toronto. We went back, faced the music and booked flights back to Winnipeg within the week.I just know that if we had gone back it would of been the worst decision of our lives.
So many of us go through what you are going through now but be strong think of your kids and see Canada for what it is, a beautiful country with a lot decent people here to boot. I hope things turn around for the better soon but give it a little bit more time here.
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 12:51 am
  #38  
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Default Re: feeling low!

AM with you on this 0 we landed on 10th Dec - not the best time - and I feel sad and low some days - looking for work - worrying bout food and house prices . . My kids are both at school bu the oldest is still missing her friends terribly - I have said - at least a year - and when the spring comes I hope it will all brighten up.

Some days are good - when its sunny and we go boarding . .others when its grey I am glad I have the dogs as I HAVE to take them out and that makes me talk to people in the park - -

We went to a supper last night with OH's work so we are going out etc . . -I think the time of year really doesnt help . . . .


BUT we will get through it - OH seems fine so that what keeps me going - he knows I am suffering - am v strong and out going - but the rental is crap and some days I really have to make myself go out . . . .but I think this will be a better life once I have got over my hiccup - -

re uk tv - you can access bbc I player etc . . there are threads on here - or pm me

BIG HUGS xoxoxoxox
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 1:13 am
  #39  
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Default Re: feeling low!

Originally Posted by dbd33
Canada is miserable in the winter, you may feel that summer in Mississauga makes up for it.
Canada isn't miserable in the winter. You just have to adapt and find winter activities.
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 7:39 am
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Default Re: feeling low!

Hi There

Im sorry to hear you are unhappy however, I have gotta say Toronto is a wonderful city.
It is buzzing with activities and jobs are plentiful.
I think you should give it a bit longer, you cannot base your experience on 6-7wks.

Where abouts in Toronto are you?
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 10:41 am
  #41  
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Default Re: feeling low!

to the OP...

forgive me, but you seem to be suffering the 'grass is always greener....' syndrome!

British TV and Iceland are not two things that should motivate sane people to emigrate for a second time in their life! This sounds more like a dose of home sickness due to your having waaaay too much time on your hands.... primarily due to a loss of 'purpose' in the form of gainful employment.

and there lies the problem. you need a job!

and if this be the case, then stay where you are! things might seem terribly grey (mentally and meteorologically) in Canada right now, but they are just as bad, if not worse over here, and are forecasted to only deteriorate further over the next 18 to 24 months!

of course i could be wrong..... but i would strongly suggest that you throw yourself completely into the 'i have made my bed and now i must lie in it' frame of mind; get out and join a rec hockey team (or preferred alternative) and chase whatever it is that you 'need' for the next 18 to 24 months.

if in that time, you still feel unfulfilled, then return to a (hopefully) up-swinging UK.... i'll buy you a welcome back beer! but i bet you will be more than happy to stay out there.

best of luck!
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 11:58 am
  #42  
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Default Re: feeling low!

Originally Posted by flashman
Canada isn't miserable in the winter. You just have to adapt and find winter activities.
Today's winter activities so far have been:

- failing to open front door, frozen shut

- walking out patio door through two feet of snow in "business casual" clothing

- cranking heat in car in the hope of drying socks

- driving slowly along in blowing snow with almost no visibility behind a milk truck and, for God's sake, a Winnebago

Shortly, I'll address a meeting of people all of whom will be moaning about how it's a close call between wanting to be here in January and wanting to be dead. Sex, heavy drinking and smoking joints are activities which one may enjoy during the winter in Canada. Obviously though one may as well enjoy them in the sun.
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 12:01 pm
  #43  
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Default Re: feeling low!

Reasons for why so many people go to BC, despite the cost of housing there:

Originally Posted by dbd33
- failing to open front door, frozen shut

- walking out patio door through two feet of snow in "business casual" clothing

- cranking heat in car in the hope of drying socks

- driving slowly along in blowing snow with almost no visibility behind a milk truck and, for God's sake, a Winnebago

Shortly, I'll address a meeting of people all of whom will be moaning about how it's a close call between wanting to be here in January and wanting to be dead.
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Old Jan 30th 2009, 11:19 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: feeling low!

This week I been mainly doing the following!!!
(from the Fast Show!!)

1. Shovelling snow
2. Sno blowing snow
3.Rakin snow from roof
4.all other times removing brown canine objects from snow which froze as they hit the snow! Ice pick preferable!!

: rofl:
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Old Jan 31st 2009, 12:04 am
  #45  
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Default Re: feeling low!

Originally Posted by jinn
hi everyone,

So here I am, We moved from the UK in Mid Dec 2008, have now been in Toronto for a month.
Experience so far..
Honestly it's not been great, I hate the TV, Can't get a job, find the food prices to be very expereince! have had enough of the snow!
Vegetarian food seems to be non exisistant.

The only plus pointm, I have a 5yr old who is enjoying school..

I'm feeling very sad, and low! I wonder if I've made the wrong decision about moving, I've already considered moving back to the UK..

ohh I'm sorry but I have nothing positive to write about!

$15 an hour seens like a basic wage here..

I don't think I can do this

I wanna go home.........................


:-(


Jinn
I don't think you have given it enough time, a month or two is nowhere near enough. That said we are moving back to the UK after having been here for 3 years, but not because I think Canada is a bad place to live.
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