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Easiest way in making new friends?

Easiest way in making new friends?

Old Nov 3rd 2013, 3:20 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Stephen47 View Post
Thank you so much for replying back to my message. It's been ever so tough trying to make new friends. I have really tried in making new friends by going out to the pub and mingling with other brits and other nationalities but once you meet them a few times they're busy with their own friends and just generally too busy to hang out with you. They disappeared then you're left at stage one again.

I have looked at meetup.com but I haven't joined a club yet so maybe I should take a good look on what is on offer. If it all goes bad then I may have to resort giving everyone $20 per person just to be my friend or pay them $50 so they can hang out with me at every opportunity
If y ou join a club., volunteer for a committee or to organize something, you'd be surprised how quickly you you get to know people that way.
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 3:25 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Aviator View Post
If y ou join a club., volunteer for a committee or to organize something, you'd be surprised how quickly you you get to know people that way.
Hey!

I've had a good look on the meetup.com site and I think I'm going to join a football club and other clubs too.

I've never thought about volunteering but it's something I may consider down the road. I appreciate your help and everyone else's.
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 3:55 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

May not be applicable to you but volunteering a good way of getting that all important Canadian experience and references on your résumé
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 5:04 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Oink View Post
Take lots of money and don't speak to strangers in the bar. Its not the UK, they'll think you're gay.
Well I survived the experience! Although I did talk to some strangers and I don't *think* anyone thought I was gay...
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 7:34 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

You could also write your name and phone number on the wall of a public loo !
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 9:08 pm
  #21  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

My son is lonely in Toronto too. Maybe you guys should get together?
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 9:26 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by catpea33 View Post
I've done the whole joining clubs thing but it seems people just quickly run off afterwards instead of heading for dinner or whatever like we would back home. Have you had that experience too? Trying to figure out if it's a Quebec thing or a Canadian thing...
It's Canada, people don't socialize the same way we do back home. Canada's always been a nation of immigrations, with new cultures, all with their own ways of socializing. Because of this, there is no established socialization code like the UK. Different cultures do things differently.

And yet generally speaking, people don't do dinner parties regularly, I've found. It's not the norm. People go to pubs to meet up with their already-established networks, and then they go home. The pubs aren't the same, and you're only going to fail if you try to socialize like you would in the UK, in Canada. My one piece of advice is to have no expectations. It's a rare thing to be invited out to a home in Canada, I've found... unless you're considered a good friend. That's just the way it is.

Saying that, I've met friends through my significant other (a cradle who works in the video game industry - a very international group!), but strangely, I've met most of my own friends through local social media groups, or online communities such as these.

For example, I love photography, and I've connected with local amateur photographers through Twitter (yes, laugh), but I've found it a great way to connect and make things happen. I've met a lot of like-minded people because of it. There's also a CAMRA chapter here in Vancouver, and I've met some great friends through the meetups. Also, through Twitter I've been introduced to #YVRBeerTweetup - a monthly meetup of fellow craft beer enthusiasts. We meet at a different pub every month. You tend to see the same people at each meet, yet new ones are always arriving, so you get to immerse yourself in the local community, meet new people, have fun. Maybe you'll meet a friend, maybe not. No expectations.

It helps that Vancouver is a transient city, which I imagine Toronto must be as well. Everyone is from somewhere else in Vancouver, being new isn't a novelty, and everyone's in the same boat. This can be, I've noticed, a double edged sword. On the one hand, everyone is new/born somewhere else, so they have no established social circles. On the other hand, because everyone is new/born somewhere else, they tend to socialize with the people from their home country/city/province, etc. because it's the easiest thing to do. But then cliques form, which typically works against both parties. For example, everyone in Vancouver it seems, if they're originally from Edmonton, all their friends here also happen to be from Edmonton, even though they probably didn't even know each other in Edmonton. If they're from Ontario, or the US, or England, etc. It's the same thing.

I imagine Toronto must be the same.

Edit: A former Vancouverite, originally from Mexico, Jorge Amigo (yes, his real name) recently moved to Toronto. He felt that Vancouver wasn't a friendly city, that it was hard to make friends. He created an event called #bemyamigo to bring strangers together and socialize. Apparently he's starting it up in Toronto. There you go!

https://www.facebook.com/bemyamigo
http://www.vancouversun.com/Amigo+de...456/story.html

Last edited by Lychee; Nov 3rd 2013 at 9:37 pm.
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 9:40 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Lychee View Post
It's Canada, people don't socialize the same way we do back home. Canada's always been a nation of immigrations, with new cultures, all with their own ways of socializing. Because of this, there is no established socialization code like the UK. ]
There's an established socialisation code in the UK?? What is it?!
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Old Nov 3rd 2013, 10:19 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Shard View Post
There's an established socialisation code in the UK?? What is it?!
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Old Nov 4th 2013, 1:20 am
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Shard View Post
There's an established socialisation code in the UK?? What is it?!
It's exactly the same as in Canada or anywhere else in the world. The results however, vary a bit among countries and within countries.

The basic idea is spending your teenage years and young adulthood in more or less the same place.

Sorry to state the bleedin' obvious, but there you go.
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Old Nov 5th 2013, 7:52 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Stephen47 View Post
Hey!

I've had a good look on the meetup.com site and I think I'm going to join a football club and other clubs too.

I've never thought about volunteering but it's something I may consider down the road. I appreciate your help and everyone else's.
Volunteering is a great way. And it is hard all over Canada it seems. I am in Calgary - a very transient city - and that part is the hardest to overcome. Playing football in a team and organising the Arsenal Supporters Club here is what helped me. Pubs are not the same, but there are some that are more "English" than others in terms of a Neighbourhood Pub. Just look out for them. Example Fox on Youngue in Toronto is pretty decent I hear. Go to an Arsenal game there (even if you don't support) and chat to people.
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Old Nov 5th 2013, 10:04 pm
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Rick b View Post
Volunteering is a great way. And it is hard all over Canada it seems. I am in Calgary - a very transient city - and that part is the hardest to overcome. Playing football in a team and organising the Arsenal Supporters Club here is what helped me. Pubs are not the same, but there are some that are more "English" than others in terms of a Neighbourhood Pub. Just look out for them. Example Fox on Youngue in Toronto is pretty decent I hear. Go to an Arsenal game there (even if you don't support) and chat to people.
Where is that? Never heard of Youngue Street.
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Old Nov 7th 2013, 12:53 am
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Novocastrian View Post
Where is that? Never heard of Youngue Street.
http://foxandfiddle.com/1535-yonge-st - Sorry looks like I just wanted to put two "u's" in the street name!
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:10 am
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

We arrived in Winnipeg in August, and other than some casual chats with people who have been very friendly on a surface level, thats been it. We are a family with a 13 yr old son, he seems fine at school but my wife who is very outgoing is finding it impossible to make friends.

She has tried joining a group but after the meeting, they all go their seperate ways and thats it until the next time, she has tried talking to the neighbours but it does not go anywhere.

so, its obviously a canadian thing. We are are determined to integrate and not just seek out expats as we moved here to become canadians but for my wife, the person who i thought would find it the easiest, its proving tough.

Its very interesting how the stuff like:

Getting here
Sorting out permanent residency
finding somewhere to live
finding a job

is all covered in great detail where ever you look in terms of supporting immigrants, however this bit draws a blank.

I cope by getting stuck into my work, and I have joined some car related forums which I hope will lead to some meet ups in the spring.

For now though, its a bit grim to put it mildly.

The post above, which said don't assume the social networking process will work the same as it does in the UK, is so true.
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Old Dec 4th 2013, 2:14 am
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Default Re: Easiest way in making new friends?

Originally Posted by Pete S View Post
We arrived in Winnipeg in August, and other than some casual chats with people who have been very friendly on a surface level, thats been it. We are a family with a 13 yr old son, he seems fine at school but my wife who is very outgoing is finding it impossible to make friends.

She has tried joining a group but after the meeting, they all go their seperate ways and thats it until the next time, she has tried talking to the neighbours but it does not go anywhere.

so, its obviously a canadian thing. We are are determined to integrate and not just seek out expats as we moved here to become canadians but for my wife, the person who i thought would find it the easiest, its proving tough.

Its very interesting how the stuff like:

Getting here
Sorting out permanent residency
finding somewhere to live
finding a job

is all covered in great detail where ever you look in terms of supporting immigrants, however this bit draws a blank.

I cope by getting stuck into my work, and I have joined some car related forums which I hope will lead to some meet ups in the spring.

For now though, its a bit grim to put it mildly.

The post above, which said don't assume the social networking process will work the same as it does in the UK, is so true.
Welcome Pete. There's actually a ton of stuff on BE about this very issue. The summary is 3 months is far too short a time in which to expect to make friends. 2 years + is more likely.
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