Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Hi,

What is the easiest way in making new friends. I'm currently on my 2nd IEC visa and so far it's been tough. I've made friends with my coworkers but that's just about it.

Anyone else felt a little isolated in a city like Toronto?

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Join clubs, volunteer, hand out $20 bills to everyone you meet?

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Join Meetup.com and look for groups that match your interests. Join then and go to a meet, you'll soon meet new people.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

yes it is very easy to feel isolated in a big city like Toronto.
Do you have any hobbies? usually a good way to meet like minded people
try meet up http://canada.meetup.com/
to find groups.

It takes a lot of work to make new friends and quite frankly you have to be the one willing to put in the leg work

Quite frankly you need them more than they need you so you have to be prepared to approach it with that mindset

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

lol that's really funny , in separate rooms typing the same reply :)

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Stephen

Yeah, same issue here. I'm on my 2nd IEC too. I have the added complication of living in Quebec in French and being an evil English person to boot! ;) Not to mention that as a geologist who goes off to drilling camp, all the friends I make are in some far-flung places. My best Canadian friend lives 1800km from me!

I've done the whole joining clubs thing but it seems people just quickly run off afterwards instead of heading for dinner or whatever like we would back home. Have you had that experience too? Trying to figure out if it's a Quebec thing or a Canadian thing...

Maybe we should both do what Aviator suggested and give people $20 to be our friends! lol.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Maybe you two should go to a meet up group?

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Thank you so much for replying back to my message. It's been ever so tough trying to make new friends. I have really tried in making new friends by going out to the pub and mingling with other brits and other nationalities but once you meet them a few times they're busy with their own friends and just generally too busy to hang out with you. They disappeared then you're left at stage one again.

I have looked at meetup.com but I haven't joined a club yet so maybe I should take a good look on what is on offer. If it all goes bad then I may have to resort giving everyone $20 per person just to be my friend or pay them $50 so they can hang out with me at every opportunity :)

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Having moved to Brandon, MB about six weeks ago as a university graduate it was/is certainly a shock coming to a new place and literally having no friends! I realise this will take time so am not too worried at the moment, but also know that you have to put the effort in.

I've joined a couple of clubs and tonight am going to go to the pub by myself for the first time...a bit sad but I am badly craving just sitting at the bar chilling out with a pint!

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Take lots of money and don't speak to strangers in the bar. Its not the UK, they'll think you're gay.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

I think finding new friends is like finding a new man. You only get some interest when you aren't looking.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

I agree, not that I have ever tried to find a new man.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Throw your keys in the bowl?

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Find a hobby, take a course in something that interests you or just move to a ski resort where everyone is in the same boat and looking to make new friends.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Don't be desperate, or you'll end up attracting the sort of pains-in-the-arse who hone in on that type of neediness. Once they have hold you'll never be able to get rid of them and will eventually have to move away to avoid them... Then you'll be back to square one again... ;)

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

If y ou join a club., volunteer for a committee or to organize something, you'd be surprised how quickly you you get to know people that way.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Hey!

I've had a good look on the meetup.com site and I think I'm going to join a football club and other clubs too.

I've never thought about volunteering but it's something I may consider down the road. I appreciate your help and everyone else's.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

May not be applicable to you but volunteering a good way of getting that all important Canadian experience and references on your résumé

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Well I survived the experience! :D Although I did talk to some strangers and I don't *think* anyone thought I was gay...

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

You could also write your name and phone number on the wall of a public loo ! ;)

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

My son is lonely in Toronto too. Maybe you guys should get together?

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

It's Canada, people don't socialize the same way we do back home. Canada's always been a nation of immigrations, with new cultures, all with their own ways of socializing. Because of this, there is no established socialization code like the UK. Different cultures do things differently.

And yet generally speaking, people don't do dinner parties regularly, I've found. It's not the norm. People go to pubs to meet up with their already-established networks, and then they go home. The pubs aren't the same, and you're only going to fail if you try to socialize like you would in the UK, in Canada. My one piece of advice is to have no expectations. It's a rare thing to be invited out to a home in Canada, I've found... unless you're considered a good friend. That's just the way it is.

Saying that, I've met friends through my significant other (a cradle who works in the video game industry - a very international group!), but strangely, I've met most of my own friends through local social media groups, or online communities such as these.

For example, I love photography, and I've connected with local amateur photographers through Twitter (yes, laugh), but I've found it a great way to connect and make things happen. I've met a lot of like-minded people because of it. There's also a CAMRA chapter here in Vancouver, and I've met some great friends through the meetups. Also, through Twitter I've been introduced to #YVRBeerTweetup - a monthly meetup of fellow craft beer enthusiasts. We meet at a different pub every month. You tend to see the same people at each meet, yet new ones are always arriving, so you get to immerse yourself in the local community, meet new people, have fun. Maybe you'll meet a friend, maybe not. No expectations.

It helps that Vancouver is a transient city, which I imagine Toronto must be as well. Everyone is from somewhere else in Vancouver, being new isn't a novelty, and everyone's in the same boat. This can be, I've noticed, a double edged sword. On the one hand, everyone is new/born somewhere else, so they have no established social circles. On the other hand, because everyone is new/born somewhere else, they tend to socialize with the people from their home country/city/province, etc. because it's the easiest thing to do. But then cliques form, which typically works against both parties. For example, everyone in Vancouver it seems, if they're originally from Edmonton, all their friends here also happen to be from Edmonton, even though they probably didn't even know each other in Edmonton. If they're from Ontario, or the US, or England, etc. It's the same thing.

I imagine Toronto must be the same.

Edit: A former Vancouverite, originally from Mexico, Jorge Amigo (yes, his real name) recently moved to Toronto. He felt that Vancouver wasn't a friendly city, that it was hard to make friends. He created an event called #bemyamigo to bring strangers together and socialize. Apparently he's starting it up in Toronto. There you go!

https://www.facebook.com/bemyamigo
http://www.vancouversun.com/Amigo+de...456/story.html

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

There's an established socialisation code in the UK?? What is it?!

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

:p

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

It's exactly the same as in Canada or anywhere else in the world. The results however, vary a bit among countries and within countries.

The basic idea is spending your teenage years and young adulthood in more or less the same place.

Sorry to state the bleedin' obvious, but there you go.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Volunteering is a great way. And it is hard all over Canada it seems. I am in Calgary - a very transient city - and that part is the hardest to overcome. Playing football in a team and organising the Arsenal Supporters Club here is what helped me. Pubs are not the same, but there are some that are more "English" than others in terms of a Neighbourhood Pub. Just look out for them. Example Fox on Youngue in Toronto is pretty decent I hear. Go to an Arsenal game there (even if you don't support) and chat to people.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Where is that? Never heard of Youngue Street.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

http://foxandfiddle.com/1535-yonge-st - Sorry looks like I just wanted to put two "u's" in the street name!

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

We arrived in Winnipeg in August, and other than some casual chats with people who have been very friendly on a surface level, thats been it. We are a family with a 13 yr old son, he seems fine at school but my wife who is very outgoing is finding it impossible to make friends.

She has tried joining a group but after the meeting, they all go their seperate ways and thats it until the next time, she has tried talking to the neighbours but it does not go anywhere.

so, its obviously a canadian thing. We are are determined to integrate and not just seek out expats as we moved here to become canadians but for my wife, the person who i thought would find it the easiest, its proving tough.

Its very interesting how the stuff like:

Getting here
Sorting out permanent residency
finding somewhere to live
finding a job

is all covered in great detail where ever you look in terms of supporting immigrants, however this bit draws a blank.

I cope by getting stuck into my work, and I have joined some car related forums which I hope will lead to some meet ups in the spring.

For now though, its a bit grim to put it mildly.

The post above, which said don't assume the social networking process will work the same as it does in the UK, is so true.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Welcome Pete. There's actually a ton of stuff on BE about this very issue. The summary is 3 months is far too short a time in which to expect to make friends. 2 years + is more likely.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Thanks for the welcome.

Yep, just been reading some other threads and can see its a common problem.

I suspect she is going to have to get involved in a volunteer group so its a long term thing as joining courses and so forth will only lead to the same experience she just had. The problem comes when I disappear off for work for a week at a time leaving her on her own staring at 4 walls all day.

Crazy really - we both thought the tough bit would be the weather and missing family and friends. Sure we are missing people in the UK but the lack of social contact is the worst bit, even though we did not go out much before we moved :) We now realise that those chats over the garden fence, the occassional bbq and a few beers meant a lot.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Well you'll get there if you want to. Definitely a good idea to get involved in various volunteering activities, but choose wisely with the end goal (more friends) in mind.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Good point LOL

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

I've been here 6 years and haven't made what I would call a best friend / good friend. I have lots of friend friends but no-one is like 'me' if that makes sense.

You only find those people as you are growing up / develop together. Nigh on impossible to find as an adult especially in a different country.

Not overly fussed, it's one of the downsides of having an otherwise perfect life!

Plus theres always BE and FB to moan on when you need a girly let rip!

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

lol ive been in toronto since 2007 i have 4 friends now. Im sort of outgoing and it sure did take time getting these friends. I live in an apartment and i used to smoke so these were my smoking buddies as such. Now that i dont smoke i rarely see them unless they want something hahaha. i bought a dog and now speak to the doggie world. Torontarians seem to accept anyone who has a dog and will speak to you. Lots meet up for walks and things so if you like walking and dont mind four legged animals try a dog.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Read all the posts with interest.

I have been lucky having moved around the UK contract working for a number of years.
Doesn't really matter where you are finding friends just takes time and if am honest its down to us the strangers to try and fit in.
Cheers Pete

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

This has probably been mentioned somewhere in the previous pages? Otehr ways include finding a hobby group/club e.g. photography, running, craft etc

If you have kids, play dates with other parents from school is also another avenue, but you do have to approach them i.e. initiate a chinwag...if you are the type that is reserved, it ain't going to happen.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Sign up for a couple of things on this:

http://www.torontossc.com/

Also haul your arse down to your local bar.

Apologies I should have got involved on this thread sooner.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

Pubs in Toronto are full of people who want to get out the house and socialise.

I play golf with locals from my pub all the time and also get involved in other activities.

The only big difference I've found with Canada is you socialise less with work people and this is purely because people tend to drive to work and shoot off after versus having a beer and riding transit home.

I kind've like not having to socialise with work people and having wider circles.

Re: Easiest way in making new friends?
 

I spend my best nights disturbing strangers in bars.

Just be careful down Jarvis street......