Originally Posted by Shard

Welcome Pete. There's actually a ton of stuff on BE about this very issue. The summary is 3 months is far too short a time in which to expect to make friends. 2 years + is more likely.

Originally Posted by Pete S

Thanks for the welcome.

Yep, just been reading some other threads and can see its a common problem.

I suspect she is going to have to get involved in a volunteer group so its a long term thing as joining courses and so forth will only lead to the same experience she just had. The problem comes when I disappear off for work for a week at a time leaving her on her own staring at 4 walls all day.

Crazy really - we both thought the tough bit would be the weather and missing family and friends. Sure we are missing people in the UK but the lack of social contact is the worst bit, even though we did not go out much before we moved We now realise that those chats over the garden fence, the occassional bbq and a few beers meant a lot.

Originally Posted by Shard

Well you'll get there if you want to. Definitely a good idea to get involved in various volunteering activities, but choose wisely with the end goal (more friends) in mind.

Originally Posted by Lychee

It's Canada, people don't socialize the same way we do back home. Canada's always been a nation of immigrations, with new cultures, all with their own ways of socializing. Because of this, there is no established socialization code like the UK. Different cultures do things differently.

And yet generally speaking, people don't do dinner parties regularly, I've found. It's not the norm. People go to pubs to meet up with their already-established networks, and then they go home. The pubs aren't the same, and you're only going to fail if you try to socialize like you would in the UK, in Canada. My one piece of advice is to have no expectations. It's a rare thing to be invited out to a home in Canada, I've found... unless you're considered a good friend. That's just the way it is.

Saying that, I've met friends through my significant other (a cradle who works in the video game industry - a very international group!), but strangely, I've met most of my own friends through local social media groups, or online communities such as these.

For example, I love photography, and I've connected with local amateur photographers through Twitter (yes, laugh), but I've found it a great way to connect and make things happen. I've met a lot of like-minded people because of it. There's also a CAMRA chapter here in Vancouver, and I've met some great friends through the meetups. Also, through Twitter I've been introduced to #YVRBeerTweetup - a monthly meetup of fellow craft beer enthusiasts. We meet at a different pub every month. You tend to see the same people at each meet, yet new ones are always arriving, so you get to immerse yourself in the local community, meet new people, have fun. Maybe you'll meet a friend, maybe not. No expectations.

It helps that Vancouver is a transient city, which I imagine Toronto must be as well. Everyone is from somewhere else in Vancouver, being new isn't a novelty, and everyone's in the same boat. This can be, I've noticed, a double edged sword. On the one hand, everyone is new/born somewhere else, so they have no established social circles. On the other hand, because everyone is new/born somewhere else, they tend to socialize with the people from their home country/city/province, etc. because it's the easiest thing to do. But then cliques form, which typically works against both parties. For example, everyone in Vancouver it seems, if they're originally from Edmonton, all their friends here also happen to be from Edmonton, even though they probably didn't even know each other in Edmonton. If they're from Ontario, or the US, or England, etc. It's the same thing.

I imagine Toronto must be the same.

Edit: A former Vancouverite, originally from Mexico, Jorge Amigo (yes, his real name) recently moved to Toronto. He felt that Vancouver wasn't a friendly city, that it was hard to make friends. He created an event called #bemyamigo to bring strangers together and socialize. Apparently he's starting it up in Toronto. There you go!

https://www.facebook.com/bemyamigo
http://www.vancouversun.com/Amigo+de...456/story.html

Originally Posted by BenBuzz

Well I survived the experience! Although I did talk to some strangers and I don't *think* anyone thought I was gay...

Originally Posted by JamesM

I spend my best nights disturbing strangers in bars.

Just be careful down Jarvis street......

Originally Posted by ultrarunner

Or Jayne and Finch.....heck even Yonge street

Originally Posted by JamesM

I saw Mads Mikkelson (Le Chiffre in Casino Royale) in a dive bar by Yonge and Bloor two weeks ago. Apparently he goes there when he is in town shooting the TV series Hanibal.