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Did you say goodbye the day before?

Did you say goodbye the day before?

Old May 21st 2009, 8:54 am
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Default Did you say goodbye the day before?

Hi guys,
well I'm not getting on a plane for 5 weeks yet but already I am dreading the goodbyes.
I will cope saying goodbye to my parents but I have to say goodbye to my eldest son. He is 24 and has a partner and 6 week old son.
The thing is that every time I think about it I am in floods of tears. I have even questioned what type of mother I am.
I was widowed when my boys were babies and we were on our own for a long time.
I know he is an adult and has his own life but I am dreading the whole airport thing. He is training with Microsoft at the moment but has said that once he has finished and is able, they will join us.
My life is with my husband who I miss so much. I have been extremely lucky to find the love of my life twice.
My younger son, who is coming with me, doesnt want airport goodbyes either.
Did any of you see your family the night before or even the morning and then left in a taxi?
Will I be taking something away from my family by doing it this way?
Sorry for the ramble.
Tina
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Old May 21st 2009, 9:16 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Hey you! I know just what you mean, I don't think a day has gone by in the past couple of months where I haven't cried at least once at the thought of leaving my family behind. I think (hope) it is natural to go through these feelings. Like you I'm also questioning why we are doing this.

You know you're doing the right thing and hopefully it won't be long before your son and his family can join you.

Call me if you want a chat.
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Old May 21st 2009, 10:19 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Originally Posted by albertabound View Post
Hi guys,
well I'm not getting on a plane for 5 weeks yet but already I am dreading the goodbyes.
I will cope saying goodbye to my parents but I have to say goodbye to my eldest son. He is 24 and has a partner and 6 week old son.
The thing is that every time I think about it I am in floods of tears. I have even questioned what type of mother I am.
I was widowed when my boys were babies and we were on our own for a long time.
I know he is an adult and has his own life but I am dreading the whole airport thing. He is training with Microsoft at the moment but has said that once he has finished and is able, they will join us.
My life is with my husband who I miss so much. I have been extremely lucky to find the love of my life twice.
My younger son, who is coming with me, doesnt want airport goodbyes either.
Did any of you see your family the night before or even the morning and then left in a taxi?
Will I be taking something away from my family by doing it this way?
Sorry for the ramble.
Tina
Hi Tina

I am leaving Sunday and am saying goodbye to my family at home as i know it is going to be very upsetting for my parents and i would worry about them driving home upset i have friends taking me and just dropping me
Jo
x
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Old May 21st 2009, 10:42 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Originally Posted by albertabound View Post
Hi guys,
well I'm not getting on a plane for 5 weeks yet but already I am dreading the goodbyes.
I will cope saying goodbye to my parents but I have to say goodbye to my eldest son. He is 24 and has a partner and 6 week old son.
The thing is that every time I think about it I am in floods of tears. I have even questioned what type of mother I am.
I was widowed when my boys were babies and we were on our own for a long time.
I know he is an adult and has his own life but I am dreading the whole airport thing. He is training with Microsoft at the moment but has said that once he has finished and is able, they will join us.
My life is with my husband who I miss so much. I have been extremely lucky to find the love of my life twice.
My younger son, who is coming with me, doesnt want airport goodbyes either.
Did any of you see your family the night before or even the morning and then left in a taxi?
Will I be taking something away from my family by doing it this way?
Sorry for the ramble.
Tina
If it can be avoided don't do it. Just say goodbye on the phone because airport goodbyes can just be too stressful.
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Old May 21st 2009, 10:59 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Thanks for the replies. N, I know I'm doing the right it is just hard which you know only too well.
Jo, thanks for that I hadnt thought of the upset for them on the way back.
Good Luck with your future.
I know the goodbyes, wherever they are will be heart wrenching but there is no way I could say goodbye over the phone. I'm sorry but that is just too impersonal. I am not going to be the only one upset.
I think if I do it at home then maybe I wont be blubbing in the airport and then throughout the flight.
Tina
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Old May 21st 2009, 11:13 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Hi Tina,

I know exactly what you mean, I'm not going away until October but have already said to my family that I don't want them to come to the airport. They've been fine with it as they know how sensitive I am and I really don't fancy a 9 hour flight feeling weepy and low, I want to be excited and happy!

My OH's family have not been so understanding though, they can't understand why we would not want them to come to the airport but as we're coming over with snowboards they couldn't fit us & luggage into the car anyway, its such a tough decision, thinking of you
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Old May 21st 2009, 11:33 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

I said my goodbyes two weeks before. The hardest bit was saying goodbye to my son, who was then only five.
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Old May 21st 2009, 11:36 am
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Originally Posted by albertabound View Post
Hi guys,
well I'm not getting on a plane for 5 weeks yet but already I am dreading the goodbyes.
I will cope saying goodbye to my parents but I have to say goodbye to my eldest son. He is 24 and has a partner and 6 week old son.
The thing is that every time I think about it I am in floods of tears. I have even questioned what type of mother I am.
I was widowed when my boys were babies and we were on our own for a long time.
I know he is an adult and has his own life but I am dreading the whole airport thing. He is training with Microsoft at the moment but has said that once he has finished and is able, they will join us.
My life is with my husband who I miss so much. I have been extremely lucky to find the love of my life twice.
My younger son, who is coming with me, doesnt want airport goodbyes either.
Did any of you see your family the night before or even the morning and then left in a taxi?
Will I be taking something away from my family by doing it this way?
Sorry for the ramble.
Tina
Hi Tina

We are off in 3 weeks and I have a 15 year old and a 12 year old, we have told family and friends we will say our goodbyes the day before and that we don't want anyone at the airport. This has had a mixed response but I think it will be upsetting enough without having an airport goodbye, you have to do whats best for you and your son!!

Michelle x
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Old May 21st 2009, 1:17 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Given the choice I would do a goodbye the day before. It helps get all those emotions dealt with and allows you to focus on the next day and the journey ahead.

We had family drive us to the airport and the goodbyes were very difficult. If I had to do it again I would rather do goodbyes the day before so that the airport experience is more of adventure and positive thing.

As a side note, to the OP...... there's a song the same name as your user name:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bhkcjxLCm8Y
It's a country song but thought you might appreciate the lyrics. Everytime I see your name I think of that song.
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Old May 21st 2009, 2:01 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Thanks for your replies again guys,
I think the option of saying goodbye at home really makes sense.
I'll get my FIL to take us to the airport. I don't think he cares one way or the other where I am lol.
I saw the song when I was lookaing at another thread when if you googled yourself, what would you be.
Tina
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Old May 21st 2009, 2:03 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Originally Posted by Souvenir View Post
I said my goodbyes two weeks before. The hardest bit was saying goodbye to my son, who was then only five.
Albertabound/Tangram: it wasn't fun, I assure you. The guilt was almost overwhelming. We're both OK with it now.
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Old May 21st 2009, 2:50 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

I did lots of my goodbyes over the Christmas/New Year period because we flew out in early January.

The day before our flight I went round my nearest and dearest and blubbed each time they opened the door. We checked into an airport hotel on our last night and was completely exhausted. I made the decision of no airport goodbyes because it would be too emotional. it almost felt like we were heading off on holiday!

Albertabound - once landed, make sure you have Skye or MSN set up with a webcam. It will help a lot. All the best to your son, his parnter and their new baby. It may not be too long before they join you
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Old May 21st 2009, 3:09 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

We said our goodbyes to various people over a week or so. The last ones were to my mum and brother in the morning as we got into the taxi for the airport. We didn't make a big thing of it, just some hugs and "See you soon". It was relatively easy for us as we aren't a close family, but it was definitely easier keeping it under control. Stiff upper lip and all that.

My worst goodbye was in April at the end of a vacation. My BFF came to the airport with me and it was just terrible. Sobbing and wailing and a gnashing of teeth. The departure gate was there sooner than we thought so we hadn't composed ourselves beforehand.
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Old May 21st 2009, 3:10 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Originally Posted by albertabound View Post
Hi guys,
well I'm not getting on a plane for 5 weeks yet but already I am dreading the goodbyes.
I will cope saying goodbye to my parents but I have to say goodbye to my eldest son. He is 24 and has a partner and 6 week old son.
The thing is that every time I think about it I am in floods of tears. I have even questioned what type of mother I am.
I was widowed when my boys were babies and we were on our own for a long time.
I know he is an adult and has his own life but I am dreading the whole airport thing. He is training with Microsoft at the moment but has said that once he has finished and is able, they will join us.
My life is with my husband who I miss so much. I have been extremely lucky to find the love of my life twice.
My younger son, who is coming with me, doesnt want airport goodbyes either.
Did any of you see your family the night before or even the morning and then left in a taxi?
Will I be taking something away from my family by doing it this way?
Sorry for the ramble.
Tina
I had the airport goodbye, I didn't have the choice. My father is an old fashioned butcher 6 foot and 300lbs, I have seen him cry twice in my lifetime and both of these occasions happened at the airport.

I was 22 when I originally left and 24 the next time I saw them, I am also their youngest son which means they will always see me as their baby.

Being a young man I have a little less life experience on what is appropriate in terms of displaying emotion, the fact that I try to be happy during the process and show no signs of sorro makes me feel strong but at the same time I feel like a jerk at times because here are my 50 year old parents tears running down their faces and the 22 year old son with a smile, it seems cold-hearted when I think of it.

Immigration has worked wonders for myself and my dad though, he's a quiet man who would do anything for you he just can't sit and have a conversation. Since I have moved the only medium we have is the phone call I make, therefore I actually talk to him now and not just look at him in appreciation.

Last edited by livermanl; May 21st 2009 at 3:30 pm.
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Old May 21st 2009, 3:14 pm
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Default Re: Did you say goodbye the day before?

Originally Posted by livermanl View Post
I had the airport goodbye, I didn't have the choice. My father is an old fashioned butcher 6 foot and 300lbs, I have seen him cry twice in my lifetime and both of these occasions happened at the airport.

I was 22 when I originally left and 24 the next time I saw them, I am also their youngest son which means they will always see me as their baby.

Being a young man I have a little less life experience on what is appropriate in terms of displaying emotion, the fact that I try to be happy during the process and show no signs of sorro makes me feel strong but at the same time I feel like a jerk at times because here is my 50 year old parents tears running down their faces and the 22 year old son with a smile, it seems cold-hearted when I think of it.

Immigration has worked wonders for myself and my dad though, he's a quiet man who would do anything for you he just can't sit and have a conversation. Since I have moved the only medium we have is the phone call I make, therefore I actually talk to him now and not just look at him in appreciation.
That bit needs stressing. I have found, and I'm sure I'm not the only one, that whatever contact I now have with my family is more 'quality' than it was when I was still in the UK.
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