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Depressed or just lonely?

Depressed or just lonely?

Old Oct 1st 2013, 7:26 pm
  #106  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by not2old
after I read your post I broke into song with Flanagan & Allen's 'underneath the arches'
Another un-caught reference, I am afraid.
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 7:06 pm
  #107  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

to all!

Thank you all so much for responding and keeping this thread going. Your replies have made me smile/grimace/laugh/panic/nod & wonder. They are all appreciated.

In the short time since posting and reading the replies along the way I have indeed kicked myself up the bum and started pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I have been swimming with another mum (ok so she's English too but has been here 11 years), only this morning I have been to a residential home for the elderly to register to volunteer in whatever capacity they need, last night I went out for dinner with the Vancouver Newcomers, and I have agreed to look after another child from my son's class one evening next week while his parents are stuck for care (this will hopefully lead to some more playdates etc). As you can tell I like to be busy!!

I have had up and down moments in between. But you have no idea how helpful it has been to read that i'm not alone in feeling like this. I've also asked my hubby to read the entire thread to help him understand more too as this has sparked some deep & meaningfuls over the last couple of evenings.

I'm not going to give up, I'm not at the point of turning to the medics (but I know its possible should it ever get that bad), I'm slightly horrified to think I could be having the extreme ups & downs for a year or more but I feel a little more able to deal with it knowing its normal(?). But also we are both accepting that Van may not be the area for us, we'll give it more time but may consider a move at some point to a smaller community.

I doubt I will ever have friends equivalent to those I love in the UK with whom I have shared years but hopefully there will be people in time that I will feel able to call at a moments notice to share a coffee or to eat the mountains of baking I keep doing when I have too much time on my hands.

To those of you local that have offered a meet up, I'll PM you as I would love to meet up and share experiences and hopefully a few laughs.

Feeling a lot brighter (if still terrified) about life - thank you!!
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 7:25 pm
  #108  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Lagotoz
:eat the mountains of baking I keep doing when I have too much time on my hands.
I'll be your friend
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 7:28 pm
  #109  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by ExKiwilass
I'll be your friend
Me too.
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 7:41 pm
  #110  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Lagotoz
to all!

Thank you all so much for responding and keeping this thread going. Your replies have made me smile/grimace/laugh/panic/nod & wonder. They are all appreciated.

In the short time since posting and reading the replies along the way I have indeed kicked myself up the bum and started pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I have been swimming with another mum (ok so she's English too but has been here 11 years), only this morning I have been to a residential home for the elderly to register to volunteer in whatever capacity they need, last night I went out for dinner with the Vancouver Newcomers, and I have agreed to look after another child from my son's class one evening next week while his parents are stuck for care (this will hopefully lead to some more playdates etc). As you can tell I like to be busy!!

I have had up and down moments in between. But you have no idea how helpful it has been to read that i'm not alone in feeling like this. I've also asked my hubby to read the entire thread to help him understand more too as this has sparked some deep & meaningfuls over the last couple of evenings.

I'm not going to give up, I'm not at the point of turning to the medics (but I know its possible should it ever get that bad), I'm slightly horrified to think I could be having the extreme ups & downs for a year or more but I feel a little more able to deal with it knowing its normal(?). But also we are both accepting that Van may not be the area for us, we'll give it more time but may consider a move at some point to a smaller community.

I doubt I will ever have friends equivalent to those I love in the UK with whom I have shared years but hopefully there will be people in time that I will feel able to call at a moments notice to share a coffee or to eat the mountains of baking I keep doing when I have too much time on my hands.

To those of you local that have offered a meet up, I'll PM you as I would love to meet up and share experiences and hopefully a few laughs.

Feeling a lot brighter (if still terrified) about life - thank you!!
I realize this might sound a little trivial but I assure you it’ll really help. Go and buy yourself a really nice and stylish Gore Tex rain jacket, preferably one that can zip in a fleece for the more chilly days. Spend up to about $400 ish, it’ll make you want to wander about in the rain, keep nice and dry and help make you a little happier. Not a bad investment as you’ll need it a lot here.
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 8:00 pm
  #111  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Lagotoz
But also we are both accepting that Van may not be the area for us, we'll give it more time but may consider a move at some point to a smaller community.
One thing that might not be evident if you're new, but Vancouver has many micro cultures. It could be that Kitsilano (you're in Kits, correct?) is not for you. While on paper it looks perfect, I have a feeling it's not the most social part of the city. Maybe that's not the right term, but there is a transience there from the university students coming and going, and there's also a sense of "who are you?" suspiciousness I've detected and experienced there while visiting friends who live there. Kits is somewhere I would settle down in *once* I have a social circle, but it would not be my first choice to settle if you're new and you're trying to build a social circle from scratch.

If you're seeking more of a community-oriented village-like neighbourhood, have you explored places like Commercial Drive, Strathcona, or even outside of Vancouver - Steveston? Fort Langley? On paper these communities might not look perfect, but socially they're full of community spirit and inclusiveness. Maybe it's not Vancouver, but that you're in the wrong part of Vancouver. I do stress, the micro cultures can have phenomenal impacts on how you experience the city, but even moreso, the people who you meet and interact with.

Even in downtown Vancouver, the feeling from one community to the next can be apples and oranges, from sterile and alienating, to warm and inviting. I have experienced both in Vancouver. It's not hopeless, even though Vancouver is difficult to meet friends. I have found the east side of the city much more friendly since I moved here a few years ago. People seem to care about their community and live here because they want to interact with their neighbours. After living in Yaletown where everything felt superficial, alienating, and everyone was transient, Commercial Drive has been a breath a fresh air, pardon the cliche.

An aside, I've met a LOT of people online in Vancouver through photography, even silly trivial things I wouldn't normally pay much attention to, like Instagram - there's a group called InstaMeetVancouver where they go on photo walks of the city once a month. It's mostly an excuse to socialize with likeminded individuals. Many of whom are new to the city, but many are also born and raised here.

I'm rambling, but... don't give up just yet!

Last edited by Lychee; Oct 2nd 2013 at 8:08 pm.
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 8:01 pm
  #112  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Oink
I realize this might sound a little trivial but I assure you it’ll really help. Go and buy yourself a really nice and stylish Gore Tex rain jacket, preferably one that can zip in a fleece for the more chilly days. Spend up to about $400 ish, it’ll make you want to wander about in the rain, keep nice and dry and help make you a little happier. Not a bad investment as you’ll need it a lot here.
I don't think that sounds a bit trivial, it sounds like a bloody good idea....the force of the climate here can realy make you have a mental wobble. I feel better prepared for my second winter here, than I did for the first.

By the sounds of it Lagotoz you are on the up and up! It somedays feels like trying to shove treacle uphill...but it gets better
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 8:31 pm
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Lagotoz

hopefully there will be people in time that I will feel able to call at a moments notice to share a coffee or to eat the mountains of baking I keep doing when I have too much time on my hands.
Damn it, I am in Almonte. Hey but if you're ever in the area just call. I'll put the kettle on if you bring the baking .

You sound a lot happier Good luck!
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 8:38 pm
  #114  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Oink
I realize this might sound a little trivial but I assure you it’ll really help. Go and buy yourself a really nice and stylish Gore Tex rain jacket, preferably one that can zip in a fleece for the more chilly days. Spend up to about $400 ish, it’ll make you want to wander about in the rain, keep nice and dry and help make you a little happier. Not a bad investment as you’ll need it a lot here.
I don't think this sounds at all trivial. I think we all went and did something similar when we first arrived.

You know you want to....
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Old Oct 2nd 2013, 11:35 pm
  #115  
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Default Re: Depressed or just lonely?

Originally Posted by Lagotoz
to all!

Thank you all so much for responding and keeping this thread going. Your replies have made me smile/grimace/laugh/panic/nod & wonder. They are all appreciated.

In the short time since posting and reading the replies along the way I have indeed kicked myself up the bum and started pushing myself out of my comfort zone. I have been swimming with another mum (ok so she's English too but has been here 11 years), only this morning I have been to a residential home for the elderly to register to volunteer in whatever capacity they need, last night I went out for dinner with the Vancouver Newcomers, and I have agreed to look after another child from my son's class one evening next week while his parents are stuck for care (this will hopefully lead to some more playdates etc). As you can tell I like to be busy!!

I have had up and down moments in between. But you have no idea how helpful it has been to read that i'm not alone in feeling like this. I've also asked my hubby to read the entire thread to help him understand more too as this has sparked some deep & meaningfuls over the last couple of evenings.

I'm not going to give up, I'm not at the point of turning to the medics (but I know its possible should it ever get that bad), I'm slightly horrified to think I could be having the extreme ups & downs for a year or more but I feel a little more able to deal with it knowing its normal(?). But also we are both accepting that Van may not be the area for us, we'll give it more time but may consider a move at some point to a smaller community.

I doubt I will ever have friends equivalent to those I love in the UK with whom I have shared years but hopefully there will be people in time that I will feel able to call at a moments notice to share a coffee or to eat the mountains of baking I keep doing when I have too much time on my hands.

To those of you local that have offered a meet up, I'll PM you as I would love to meet up and share experiences and hopefully a few laughs.

Feeling a lot brighter (if still terrified) about life - thank you!!
Seriously, i am a bit of a billy no mates still, we moved over in mid July. Happy to head downtown or even give you a tour of the tricity area if you want to escape!
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