Is this crazy thinking??
 

Hello people.

Gosh, it has been a while since i was last here .. So many new people, i don't recognise anyone :o

Anyway, long story short .. My husband and i applied for the spousal visa back in Feb 2008 and i got the visa back in Nov 2008. Myself, children and cat packed up our life and moved to Ottawa on 8th December 2008. Unfortunately it was only short lived as my husband ended the marriage and me (and the boys) ran back with my tail between my legs after only 6 weeks of hell. I started divorce proceedings.

Since then i built myself back up, even passed my driving test. Things have been good. Surprisingly, my ex-husband came and lived with me in the UK for 6 months and has only recently returned to attend school.

I have an idea .. I want to go back to Canada with the boys and try again. I am not 100% sure where, although thinking Ontario. Need to start the research up all over again. My only concern is that i'll be doing it alone this time. I won't be relying on anyone as past experience has taught me a harsh lesson. Although my ex-husband has told me he'll be as supportive as he can.

This is where the niggling doubt comes in .. A single parent moving out there again with 15 and 13 year old boys. I don't have loads of money so i would need to find employment asap but funnily enough i am getting emails from Ranstad agency (2 in May this year even though i contacted them last August telling them to leave me alone please .. I was upset and didn't need the reminder).

I know i am a 'free spirit' but realistically .. Am i biting off more than i can chew?'

Honesty here would be much appreciated.

Thank you for your time :thumbsup:

Sarah

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Hey Sas-Lou,
Good to hear from you again!

My thoughts would be, if you can work it financially you should give it a go. You have an idea of the "lay of the land" so to speak, so that would give you more of an advantage than many people who decide to move after a holiday or two.

Can you come out alone for a couple of weeks and try to secure employment before you bring the kids? A job and a rental place would give you a little peace of mind and hell, you've done it once!

Good luck, I wish you the best xx:)

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Will your ex-husband let the boys go without a court order?

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Is the ex not Canadian? .... where is he now (in the picture or totally out of it)? :confused:

What do the boys want to do?

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

He's not the childrens father .. I took him to court back in August 2008 and it helped that the dead beat started arguing with the judge. I got my paperwork.


Apologies for the confusion .. My ex-husband is Canadian. He is somewhat in the picture but i know he needs to focus on his studies. If we never become lovers again, we'll be best friends forever.

The 15 year old doesn't want to leave his friends but would consider it after he has finished school. His idea is that it didn't work the first time so why would it be any different now.

My 13 year old really really wants to go back. Although the children were only in school in Ottawa for 3 weeks, he made some really good friends who he is still in touch with via facebook/email/Xbox 360.

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

How delightfully 1970s. Good for you two. :thumbup:

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Hey Sas glad to hear things have or are turning around for you - I remember when it all hit the fan :wub:

Does your 15 year old have family he could stay with - this may sound really harsh, but you have to follow your gut instinct. He won't be your little boy for much longer (out in the big wide world and all that) so maybe he could stay in the UK with family if they are in agreement and you could do it that way.

Now I know that sounds really selfish and I hear so much about the "i'm doing it for the kids" scenario, but what about doing it for you - happy mum happy kids etc?

Don't move back because of ex husbly either - go back and read your posts of what happened and how you felt when it all kicked off - leopards / spots etc (again sounds harsh but this is just my opinion) - move because you want to, and if you want to remain friends then so be it.

He buggered up the relationship once before and left you in a whole heap of mess - be strong and decisive (and get a new bloke ;))

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Wish I'd written that:thumbup:

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

hey just wanted to say hi and welcome back, good luck with your plans:thumbsup:

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

I am a single Mum... We are going to Victoria VI very soon. I have 4 kids but only 2 are coming with me straight away. I promised my son I wouldn't go till he was 16 but he is nearly 18 now, and it is going to kill me to leave him behind, but I have to live my life aswell. I totaly agree with Ms moochops on that front. He wouldn't think twice in a year or so going off to some far off land and leaving me behind. My 22yr old cannot wait and my 10yr old can barely contain his excitement. My eldest will come in her own time but was too old for the visa. I am hopeful that my 17yr old will follow on, he will have PR so I hope he will at least try it for a year or so.

I have work so am fortunate on that front. But I say go... as an independant woman and dont rely on anybody to bring you the happiness you want.

Sarah x

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Thank you everyone for your insight. I do appreciate it.

I think it may be a good idea to come on my own, get things sorted then get the kids to come along at a later date .. If they both want to.

Ideally i'd like a little more money behind me .. As i don't want to rely on the ex too much, if not at all. I'm doing it off my own back this time.

Now i just need to decide which part of Ontario i'd like to live in .. Calgary also seems nice .. Decisions, decisions .. Then research, research. Lol

I have said it in the past .. This site and all the people who contribute to it, have helped me in so many different ways that i'll be eternally grateful.

You guys/gals rock :o

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

There's a bed here for ya luv and I'm sure Floopy would love to see you!

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Hello gorgeous :D .. Oh the offer is soooo tempting. It would be nice to see her again. I have been playing with numbers and figures but at present, i need to get some more cash behind me. I have until December 2011 .. But never say never .. Always the optimist :fingerscrossed:

I hope you are well :wub:

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Aye, all's good here. Floops has settled in very well, only one major fight per day now between her and Barclay, hehe!!
Well, if you fancy a wee break, just c'mon over!

Re: Is this crazy thinking??
 

Oh no .. She is a stubborn little girl :o
I really do appreciate the offer. I have just been talking to him about the tax break i'd get for claiming 2 dependants .. If he is correct, i am a little more hopeful. I don't want to be on the breadline over there, i've just had an entire cow for tea .. I dread to think how much that would cost in Canada, lol. I also don't want to come in the dead of winter again .. That was painful, it didn't help that the bus company had their strike also. So i either do it this summer, or next spring.

Your wee break is noted though. It will turn out exactly the way it was meant to, eventually :thumbsup: