jinn

Hi,

I moved to Toronto with my husband and children in Dec 2008. Came with the same dream as all, looking for a better future for my young children, better education, healthcare etc.
I have tried so hard to make this home, but I still have such a strong pull back to the UK. Firstly, all my family are based there, (this being the main reason)
I like Canada, Toronto it's a beautiful place, I have a nice house, with schools around the corner. parks etc.
regardless of all this, I still want to go back!
I don't know if moving back would be a mistake for me and my family, am I making the right choice for my kids? Will I be able to get a Job again. Is is UK really as bad as its made out to be? im sure there are good and bad areas like most countries. is the education better in the UK or Canada?
So, many questions go around in my head. Has anyone on here considered moving back? Know of anyone who has?


Any advice would be appreciated.
Thanks Jinn

Siouxie

Sounds like you are in a quandary.

I would suggest taking a look at the 'moving back to the UK' forum on BE - you will find threads about people that are still deciding, others where people have decided and yet more about those that have moved back - and some where people regret their decision.

I think first you have to ascertain what you would do if you moved back - would you be able to find jobs; where would you live; what are you anticipating will be different from when you made the decision to move to Canada.

When was the last time you went back for a visit?

Do you have Canadian Citizenship? I would recommend that you get it before returning to the UK (if you decide to in the end) so that you could return to Canada in the future, if you changed your mind.


http://britishexpats.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=61

MarylandNed

My wife and I were in a similar position. We moved from the UK to Toronto in 1989, had our first 2 kids there (1993 and 1994), bought a house in the suburbs, etc. We loved Toronto and Canada but having kids far away from family became very unsettling for us. We moved back to the UK in 1996 partly because we thought we wanted the kids to grow up knowing their extended family. We quickly settled and started to feel that the UK would become our long term home. We had our 3rd child there.

Then things changed again for several different reasons. We became frustrated by our inability to have our first child placed into an acceptable school. We got tired of taking the kids to playgrounds that were full of dog crap, broken glass, litter, graffiti and chavs. We started to have more experiences that convinced us that the UK was just not as child friendly as Canada. I got tired of aggressive people in pubs. I encountered some of the UK "class system" issues that I had completely forgotten about because I had never encountered similar issues in Canada. We then started to have serious doubts about whether the UK was really where we wanted to raise our kids.

We started thinking about returning to Canada. However, during the process of job hunting, I found out about a good opportunity in the US. My wife and I had been to the US many times before (especially when we lived in Canada) so we felt comfortable with the idea of a move to the US and what we would be getting into. So we moved to Maryland in 1998 just 2 years after we had moved from Canada to the UK. We felt that we had given the UK long enough. It was weird because it wasn't like we were unhappy in the UK. We actually settled pretty quickly and felt happy there but then gradually the doubts crept in.

Looking back, we do not regret the move back to the UK. We enjoyed our time there. I think it was something we needed to do to get it out of our system so to speak. That might also be the case for you. There is a lot that I like and miss about the UK.

Whether it works out or not depends on many factors e.g. where you're moving from and to. Education is close enough between the 2 countries that I don't think it's a major factor.

MillieF

I just wanted to say thank you and how much I enjoyed your post MerylandNed, I think it really points out that there are so very many possible variables for the average family at different points in life.

I think that if you've generally got the balls to have uprooted your family and taken them such a long way, it would be a bit strange if you didn't start to question "is this it"? when you are once again settling down and getting into a comfortable rut.

It can be jolly hard to settle down here, I am 'lucky' in that I don't have any family in the UK so don't feel that pull. How old are your kids now Jinn? What does your husband think?

Supermum1

Will return when my son is older, so he can attend Uni there (being dual citizen)

Supermum1

I relate to that one, went back to UK for a few months and missed Canada, it is more child friendly here, more to do and less boring. My Dad stopped going to pubs as he got sick of the foul language that is more rife back there now, plus people are more friendly here and they like Canada and Canadians, they won't move here though, settled in own home and three other Grandchildren back in the UK etc.

Oink

At least they can actually use the language with a degree of complexity. I enjoy the informed and educated discussions on numerous and varied topics in English pubs where as I find here its mostly about which truck they’re going to buy coupled with racist comments about aboriginal people. I personally don’t mind a bit of general and abstract profanity, I’d rather that than the pointed vulgar and misogynistic talk I hear in Canada. And as for “chavs” that term is simply a hate filled stereotypical term used to demonize underprivileged people in society and not something decent people would seriously use.

magnumpi

That is when we arrived, what a brutal wintry intro to Canada that was

Have you been back to the UK ? How was it ? If not then go and spend a few weeks there, that was enough to put me off even returning ever again, even for a holiday.

Caribbean or southern USA vay kay's for me now.

ann m

Something to consider.... now you have lived in Canada for five years, you might have changed more than you aware. You are in a different place in you life than you were five years ago, and you will be in a different place in your life five years from now. Crystal balls are so bloody hard to find on this website, but just try to think about wants and needs in those kind of timescales. If the thought of still being here in five years makes you feel as miserable as sin, make plans to move on.

My husband went back to the UK in 2011 - he even joined his old job, but found that it wasn't quite he wanted any more and acknowledged that he had changed in his few years away. The South East was claustrophobic to him, too busy and rushed, commuting was horrible and there was a slight air of aggression that he was now not used to. Other people have slotted straight back in and loved nearly every minute of being back "home".

We made a decision to stay in Canada - and it was not based on what we originally thought it would be based on. We are returning to the UK this Christmas, and this will be the first time back without any nagging doubts of whether to stay or go - so it will be interesting to see what we think this time.

YoshiPal2010

Got plenty of dosh? He may be a dual citizen, but as far as UK unis are concerned, he's also an international student, thus higher fees.

Novocastrian

That rather depends on timing though, doesn't it?

YoshiPal2010

It does, but one assumes that the OP intends to stay in Canada longer than three years, otherwise why bother immigrating here?

Novocastrian

What's the OP got to do with it? It was supermom1 who said she'd return to the UK eventually so that her son could attend uni there. She needs to do that when her son is about 16 to avoid paying foreign student fees. Fair enough.

But quite frankly, with domestic undergraduate fees now topping 7000 quid, does it matter that much anyway?

jinn

Thank you all for your replies, my kids are aged 9,7, and 6mths. I have been back to England a few times in the last 5yrs. mainly to attend family weddings.
I know things have changed, if I was to move back I would have to move to another area than where I lived before (just near heathrow) I'm confused, nervous and all just don't know what I should do. Just like any other parent I want the best for my kids.

I feel it's unfair for them to have to grow up away from their extended family, and cousins of similar age. Question then becomes is that a good enough reason to move back?

My husband has always said Canada is a better place to raise kids, family life etc, he still sticks by that statement. Recently, though he agrees that being Way from loved ones, family, friends isn't right either.

There must be nice areas in England to raise a family, are there not? Am I just kidding myself in hope of going home again?

I agree Toronto is a amazing place, just lonely.
It has good and bad areas, I live in Mississauga it's lovely but very expensive. Houses, property taxes etc.

I researched on Canada vs England education, The UK comes up on top, adds more confusion. What route to take?

jinn

Thank you all for your replies, my kids are aged 9,7, and 6mths. I have been back to England a few times in the last 5yrs. mainly to attend family weddings.
I know things have changed, if I was to move back I would have to move to another area than where I lived before (just near heathrow) I'm confused, nervous and all just don't know what I should do. Just like any other parent I want the best for my kids.

I feel it's unfair for them to have to grow up away from their extended family, and cousins of similar age. Question then becomes is that a good enough reason to move back?

My husband has always said Canada is a better place to raise kids, family life etc, he still sticks by that statement. Recently, though he agrees that being Way from loved ones, family, friends isn't right either.

There must be nice areas in England to raise a family, are there not? Am I just kidding myself in hope of going home again?

I agree Toronto is a amazing place, just lonely.
It has good and bad areas, I live in Mississauga it's lovely but very expensive. Houses, property taxes etc.

I researched on Canada vs England education, The UK comes up on top, adds more confusion. What route to take?