To cheer up Glaswegian
 

Hope this helps old Groucho Marks

Or maybe NOT !!!!!!!!!!!


Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all
day and most of the night ,celebrating Ireland's
football victory. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll
not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy". Paddy replies
"OK Mick, I'll be on me way then." Paddy spins around
on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his
face. "Shoite" he says and pulls himself up by the
stool and dusts himself off. He takes a step towards
the door and falls flat on his face. "Shoite, Shoite!"
He looks to the doorway and thinks to himself that if
he can just get to the door and some fresh air he'll
be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies up
to the door frame. He sticks his head outside and
takes a deep breath of fresh air, feels much better
and takes a step out onto the pavement. He falls flat
on his face. "Bi'Jesus... I'm fockin' focked," he
says. He can see his house just a few doors down, and
crawls to the door and shimmies up the door frame,
opens the door and shimmies inside. He takes a look up
the stairs and says "No fockin' way". He crawls up the
stairs to his bedroom door and says "If I can just
make it to me bed." He takes a step into the room and
falls flat on his face. He says "Fock it" and falls
into bed. The next morning, his wife, Jess, comes into
the room carrying a cup of coffee and says, "Get up
Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?". Paddy
says, "I did Jess. I was fockin' pissed. But how'd you
know?" "Mick called," Jess replied. "You left your
wheelchair at the pub."

PS No offence to our Irish cousins

Eddie :beer:

Re: To cheer up Glaswegian
 

Good one ... I'm actually in a better mood today ... I have a plan to move forwards with ... that always makes me feel better.

Time to take my oldest kid to minor hockey ... his team has won all their games so far ... hopefully the winning streak will continue.

Re: To cheer up Glaswegian
 

This half irish cousin says "well done"....... :D