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Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Old Jun 21st 2022, 2:14 pm
  #16  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

I’ve been here 12 years and I feel the same as you. I tried to make friends here and met a few people,but something is not there and I couldn’t put my finger on it. At the moment we are making plans to sell up here and head back..This is one of the reasons..and the long winters too.
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Old Jun 21st 2022, 2:59 pm
  #17  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Originally Posted by DATHI2003
I’ve been here 12 years and I feel the same as you. I tried to make friends here and met a few people,but something is not there and I couldn’t put my finger on it. At the moment we are making plans to sell up here and head back..This is one of the reasons..and the long winters too.
Surely inflation isn't helping either. The price of petrol here is insanity, a single bag of groceries cost $100, the cost of everything is going up up up.

When I was back in Europe last month the effects of inflation didn't seem to be as bad (yet.)
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Old Jun 21st 2022, 3:25 pm
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Originally Posted by Gozit
Surely inflation isn't helping either. The price of petrol here is insanity, a single bag of groceries cost $100, the cost of everything is going up up up.

When I was back in Europe last month the effects of inflation didn't seem to be as bad (yet.)
It really depends how people spend and everyone is complaining about price hikes, be it Spain, Germany and Ireland where I am. Here I paid €2.12 for a litre petrol yesterday, but ironically we had family visit recently from Germany and they thought a lot of Lidl prices for fruit & veg were cheaper (apart from alcohol of course) and were also surprised that the shelves were full with sunflower oil, because In Germany the hamstern has started again.
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Old Jun 28th 2022, 9:51 am
  #19  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Originally Posted by Loraine 1
Hi all,

We've been in NS for just over 4 years. After a rocky start we feel like we're finally starting to settle in, all most. Work is finally coming together for us and the province is beautiful, all would be perfect except we still feel like total outsiders most of the time.

We have a couple of good friends that we met through meet up but that's it.. Colleagues do their own thing, never invite us to anything or except any of our invitations. I'm seen as the 'fun' one at work so they put me head of the committee which organizes fun things for the office, events etc.. I get really great feedback on everything but if I try and invite people to anything outside of work no one comes. Plus, sometimes they do their own things in smaller groups and I don't get invited to those either.

Hubby is similar. He'll ask how peoples weekends were, if they have any plans etc.. and he's invited one or two things with us and again nothing. He often comments that if he didn't instigate conversations no one would speak to him.

Are we doing something wrong or is NS just not for us? We're now seriously considering either moving back to the UK or to another province.

Anyone feel or felt the same?
Do you have children? we found it was easier to make friends when our two sons were younger (we moved to Australia in the 1990’s) we did meet friends pretty quickly mainly through our children but years later we met two couples who had both moved near to where we lived (a new build area) one was already returning to Ireland as they had been in Perth WA for 4 years and had not made a single friend )for the reasons you stated) and they did not have children which might of helped the other couple from Scotland were just about to sell their home and returning to the UK for the same reasons, we use to invite them round but both had made up their minds they did not want to be somewhere where their social life was non existent and how the social scene worked….I also met another couple from “North of the river” who had felt the same way but they advertised for like minded people to get together they did not here anything so next time I bumped into them I gave them this websites address and they met up with other couples nearer to them and the rest is history. I personally have never mixed work with my private life like a lot of people I know I just like to keep the two separate but of course I am friendly and we have a good laugh at work, I think you should maybe forget about that you have tried it and it sounds like it makes you question yourself “what am I doing wrong” which is nothing it’s just a different way of life etc, have you taken up any hobbies or sports, go to your local pub do they do quiz nights? etc what about this site have you tried any meet ups. It sounds like the pieces are fitting together and this is the one thing that missing, try these things or any other suggestions and if they do not work then you have given your everything and if you still feel the same way return home or maybe try another province. Good luck
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Old Jun 28th 2022, 2:53 pm
  #20  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Hi all,
I decided to try something different. Rather than trying to fit into "Canadian' life I invited a bunch of people including some work colleagues (both mine and hubby's) round for an English tea party. It went down an absolute storm. Everyone that came brought either food or drink and was super excited to try the things we'd prepared (coronation chicken vol au vents and eton mess were total winner's). From this we got a couple of invites to go out with people etc.. and we were invited to a few Canada Day celebrations which we're super excited about.
I'm not saying we've cracked it but's def a start. I took the advice on here and ran with it. Do something YOU like and friends will follow. So I am feeling better about things and only time will tell, but I'm glad we took that step and may have made some connections.
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Old Jun 29th 2022, 10:50 am
  #21  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Originally Posted by Loraine 1
Hi all,
I decided to try something different. Rather than trying to fit into "Canadian' life I invited a bunch of people including some work colleagues (both mine and hubby's) round for an English tea party. It went down an absolute storm. Everyone that came brought either food or drink and was super excited to try the things we'd prepared (coronation chicken vol au vents and eton mess were total winner's). From this we got a couple of invites to go out with people etc.. and we were invited to a few Canada Day celebrations which we're super excited about.
I'm not saying we've cracked it but's def a start. I took the advice on here and ran with it. Do something YOU like and friends will follow. So I am feeling better about things and only time will tell, but I'm glad we took that step and may have made some connections.
I recommend a Guy Fawkes evening too! I have done that a few times, and my Canadian friends have loved it... nice bonfire...a few fireworks, oven baked potatoes, sausages and onion gravy, maybe a few alcoholic hot drinks, and of course the Guy Fawkes effigy sat in a chair before placing it the fire later in the evening... .. when you tell the full story and the history behind it all they lap it up!!
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Old Jun 29th 2022, 12:20 pm
  #22  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Originally Posted by Paul_Shepherd
I recommend a Guy Fawkes evening too! I have done that a few times, and my Canadian friends have loved it... nice bonfire...a few fireworks, oven baked potatoes, sausages and onion gravy, maybe a few alcoholic hot drinks, and of course the Guy Fawkes effigy sat in a chair before placing it the fire later in the evening... .. when you tell the full story and the history behind it all they lap it up!!
That sounds great. Unfortunately, we live in an apartment so can't really host that but I may suggest it to a couple of friends with big gardens
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Old Jun 30th 2022, 12:20 am
  #23  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

Originally Posted by Paul_Shepherd
I recommend a Guy Fawkes evening too! I have done that a few times, and my Canadian friends have loved it... nice bonfire...a few fireworks, oven baked potatoes, sausages and onion gravy, maybe a few alcoholic hot drinks, and of course the Guy Fawkes effigy sat in a chair before placing it the fire later in the evening... .. when you tell the full story and the history behind it all they lap it up!!

I used to have cricket parties. People came around lunchtime, had a few drinks and we went to park behind the house where we played a version of "hit and run". A few Indians and one Nigerian knew what they were doing, everyone else held the bat horizontally, caught the ball in a glove, generally played like the English play ice hockey. Drinking while the game was in progress was much encouraged. Everyone then threw each other in the pool, we turned the music up and it all went well until the fire brigade arrived. In the morning there were a few Canadians left among the rubble so I got to know them.
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Old Jul 6th 2022, 3:17 am
  #24  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

I've felt like an outsider for most of my life - almost 40 of my 57 years. I left Northern Ireland aged 18 and haver spent 8 years in England (two separate spells; 6 in Manchester and 2 in London), 7 years in Canada (Toronto) and 24 years (and counting) in the US (Maryland). The only time I don't feel like an outsider is when I go to any part of Ireland. Of the other countries I've lived in, England felt the most like home closely followed by Canada. The US has never felt like home and I feel most like an outsider here - especially so these last 5 years starting with the Trump administration and the resulting political polarization.
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Old Jul 8th 2022, 12:27 am
  #25  
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Default Re: Anyone still feel like an outsider?

I'm so please that I read this thread, I thought that I was the only one!
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