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-   -   Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada? (https://britishexpats.com/forum/canada-56/anyone-else-massively-disappointed-canada-871359/)

rugbymum Feb 11th 2016 5:48 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by christmasoompa (Post 11861916)
Oh good grief! If you really think that that post was avoiding Site Rule 1 then you clearly haven't read it very carefully. I've just taken the time to remove all of the personal attacks from it, which I really shouldn't have to do.

You seem to be accusing others of belittling you for your views on Canada, but can't seem to see the irony in you doing exactly the same and calling them names in return.

Don't post in that manner again, if you have an issue with others on the site then please use the ignore button, that's what it's there for. Personal insults and attacks on others will NOT be tolerated.

If you would like to read my post again, you will see no evidence whatsoever of me saying anything bad about Canada ..... so how can I be accusing others of belittling me for my views?

As for name calling I only posted on this thread in order to address the unpleasant "personal insults and attacks" that others had aimed at the OP Haylee, poor girl didn't stand a chance with the volume of abuse that she was expected to take. It was her first post and I read the thread with increasing dismay at the way she was treated... Statements concluded that she was wrong, thought she was superior, that there was something wrong with her relationship, that she hadn't bothered to do her reaserch etc etc, then there were the snide comments about taking her to the airport! All of this I note was "tolerated" and therefore I guess acceptable.

On top of this was the juvenile passive aggressive approach of drowning her post with inane comments about animal sightings and pancake day. When she tried to respond she was shot down in flames.

Yes I could have ignored the puerile posts I read, however I'm not one to sit on the sidelines and watch whilst someone takes a verbal trashing for others entertainment, it was cruel and unpleasant. I was pleased to note that I was not alone in my opinion of the OP being harshly judged. It was interesting therefore, but not surprising to me, that when I attempted to redress the balance (and admittedly my comments were harsh, as I was so appalled by some posts,) my comments were deleted rather ironically for being abusive and personal.

I thought this site was supposed to be balanced an supportive of ex pats, it certainly does not read that way. The OP tried living in Canada and didn't like it and then was abused online just for asking if she was alone in her experience. I just thought it was sad.

Stinkypup Feb 11th 2016 6:05 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
If you would like to read my post again, you will see no evidence whatsoever of me saying anything bad about Canada ..... so how can I be accusing others of belittling me for my views?

As for name calling I only posted on this thread in order to address the unpleasant "personal insults and attacks" that others had aimed at the OP Haylee, poor girl didn't stand a chance with the volume of abuse that she was expected to take. It was her first post and I read the thread with increasing dismay at the way she was treated... Statements concluded that she was wrong, thought she was superior, that there was something wrong with her relationship, that she hadn't bothered to do her reaserch etc etc, then there were the snide comments about taking her to the airport! All of this I note was "tolerated" and therefore I guess acceptable.

On top of this was the juvenile passive aggressive approach of drowning her post with inane comments about animal sightings and pancake day. When she tried to respond she was shot down in flames.

Yes I could have ignored the puerile posts I read, however I'm not one to sit on the sidelines and watch whilst someone takes a verbal trashing for others entertainment, it was cruel and unpleasant. I was pleased to note that I was not alone in my opinion of the OP being harshly judged. It was interesting therefore, but not surprising to me, that when I attempted to redress the balance (and admittedly my comments were harsh, as I was so appalled by some posts,) my comments were deleted rather ironically for being abusive and personal.

I thought this site was supposed to be balanced an supportive of ex pats, it certainly does not read that way. The OP tried living in Canada and didn't like it and then was abused online just for asking if she was alone in her experience. I just thought it was sad.

She was by no means a shrinking Violet she gave as good as she got- the difference was that she could and neither seemingly can her "friends" take any criticism- hers and indeed your moaning and whinging is fine but don't dare offer an opposing argument . We ourselves "only do this because we are so sad here and are too scared to go home ":rofl::rofl::rofl:

Abuse is a word that you use with gay abandon- your definition may well differ from mine as I cannot see abuse, it would have been pulled by the mods, quite rightly. ( well one slightly naughty expression was replied maybe reasonably with another one- I would call that justifiable swearing)

I think that you are looking at Hailee's posts with rose coloured glasses.
I feel that Siouxie's comment with regard to saying not all Canadians are wrong/mad/ bad/ dangerous to know but just the ones that you/others have met would indeed have gone down a little better- that was a very astute observation.
I'm sure that you will disagree, you normally do.

christmasoompa Feb 11th 2016 6:50 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
If you would like to read my post again, you will see no evidence whatsoever of me saying anything bad about Canada ..... so how can I be accusing others of belittling me for my views?

Your exact words were 'they can't stand it if you don't say how fantastic Canada is'.


Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
As for name calling I only posted on this thread in order to address the unpleasant "personal insults and attacks" that others had aimed at the OP Haylee

Okaaaaay. So you read the 'unpleasant insults and attacks' and decided you'd join in and fling some far worse ones at other members?! :blink:

I find it very hard to believe that you can't see that your own post was far worse than anything that anybody has said to Haylee. Yours was very much a personal attack on other forum members, whereas responses to her have been general disagreement with her views, and no name calling that I've seen, unlike yours.

I haven't seen any insults personally aimed at Haylee, granted I haven't read the whole thread, but not a single person has reported any post in this thread aimed at her (including Haylee). If you see anything that you feel breaks site rules, then use the report button - that is what it's there for after all! Don't decide 'if you can't beat 'em, join 'em', as you'll just end up getting yourself banned.


Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
On top of this was the juvenile passive aggressive approach of drowning her post with inane comments about animal sightings and pancake day. When she tried to respond she was shot down in flames.

That's not a 'juvenile passive aggressive approach', it's called thread drift, and happens on pretty much every thread on the forum - it's perfectly normal.


Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
Yes I could have ignored the puerile posts I read, however I'm not one to sit on the sidelines and watch whilst someone takes a verbal trashing for others entertainment, it was cruel and unpleasant.

But it's ok for you to verbally thrash other forum members though eh?

I agree that this thread hasn't been terribly welcoming to Haylee, and I wish people had been far kinder to her. But I haven't seen any posts other than yours that have broken site rules (again, I haven't read it all, but no other posts have been reported). Hence why yours were deleted and others weren't, it's nothing to do with 'redressing the balance', it's simply a case of rules being adhered to.

As I said above on your deleted post, you are very welcome to put your views across, but the way you did it isn't acceptable.

HTH clarify things a bit.

Shakyuk Feb 11th 2016 7:10 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
If you would like to read my post again, you will see no evidence whatsoever of me saying anything bad about Canada ..... so how can I be accusing others of belittling me for my views?
.......

With respect to the animal spotting comments, those comments were for my benefit and weren't to deviate from the thread topic, they were inline with the flow of conversation in the thread.

I agree with the rest of your points in this post, the other posts weren't great. I think at times Haylee didn't help herself, but I think a lot of her replies where in response to what I personally would regard as passive aggressive responses or clear personal insults (such as saying she is running away from failed relationships; unnecessary and very personal).

I can understand why some people were offended at her sweeping generalisations. But I think there's a difference between writing openly and unintentionally creating generalisations and actually going out to personally attack someone.

I think this thread and the spin off threads serve no purpose and do not add to the forum. If I was a mod I'd just delete them and move on. But I'm not a mod and so I'll just go make a coffee and eat a banana instead ;)

Shakyuk Feb 11th 2016 7:17 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by christmasoompa (Post 11864174)
I haven't seen any insults personally aimed at Haylee, granted I haven't read the whole thread, but not a single person has reported any post in this thread aimed at her (including Haylee).

There's a report button! :huh:

I probably would have used it on a few posts in this thread to be honest.

Shard Feb 11th 2016 7:54 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by Shakyuk (Post 11864187)

I think this thread and the spin off threads serve no purpose and do not add to the forum. If I was a mod I'd just delete them and move on. But I'm not a mod and so I'll just go make a coffee and eat a banana instead ;)

On the contrary, threads like this are what makes the forum interesting, and get some serious discussion going. If it weren't for threads like this, half of the regulars would get bored with offering dry practical immigration advice and the forum would be deserted. As Bristol noted above, there have been 250 posts in the 10 days since Haylee flounced, and that suggests quite a number of individuals are interested in having an ongoing dialogue.

not2old Feb 11th 2016 10:25 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
If you would like to read my post again, you will see no evidence whatsoever of me saying anything bad about Canada ..... so how can I be accusing others of belittling me for my views?

From another thread, was this having a go, a whinge, 'homesick blues' or massively disappointed in Canada?

Why did you come to Canada?

Knowing what you know now, would it be any different if you of had stayed in the UK, or if you moved back after being in Canada 5 years?


Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11086861)
I am in the same boat as some of the people who have posted and would just like to thank you for your candour.

I moved here in 2010 with my husband and children. We initially planned to review after 2 years, and I happily treated the first 2 as an adventure and challenge.

However at the 2 year point I knew in my heart that Canada would never be home, sadly for me, my husband has loved it from the minute we arrived. I have done my best to integrate and settle in, I have worked since we arrived and we have lots of friends. But now, at 3.5 years in I am unhappier than ever.

I have to go out to work I hate my job here as have gone back 20 yrs in my career just to be here. And please do not suggest i change jobs as we need the money i get paid too much to get out, we could not survive on a wage cut as we struggle even now) and to add insult to injury i have to work full time here due to the job market and employment contracts

i work longer hours in a job i hate and see less of my children than ever, so my life has truly taken a nosedive here. my husband loves his job, does not have to work shifts ( i do) and i am doing this to keep everyone else happy. but its making me sick not physically but emotionally i feel like my heart is breaking.

My current choices are 1) stay and be miserable for the forseable future or 2) leave my husband in the country he loves, break up the family and return. i still have not decided what to do.


Originally Posted by rugbymum (Post 11864120)
We moved to Alberta in 2010 as with 3 young boys we were somewhat concerned for their future in the UK so much competition overcrowding and increasing violence. We did not want to raise hard working boys who would have to spend their lives supporting what we saw as a growing number of people who have no intention of working or paying their way.

We both worked (me part time and my husband full time) and seriously had a worse lifestyle and less available time/money than many people we dealt with who had never worked a day in their lives. I worked in healthcare and my husband in security so we perhaps saw the worst of life at times. That is a brief history.

Anyway, my dilemma is that I do not want to stay here, after 3 years I know that this place will never be home and I get sadder and more unhappy with each and every passing day. I hate my job, the education system here, the lack of culture to be honest just about everything. I know I thought life and prospects for our children would be worse in the UK compared to Canada but I didn't realise the value of what I had either.


Novocastrian Feb 11th 2016 10:34 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by not2old (Post 11864331)
From another thread, was this having a go, a whinge, 'homesick blues' or massively disappointed in Canada?

Why did you come to Canada?

Would it be any different if had stayed in the UK, or if you moved back after being in Canada 5 years?

OK. That's enough of this drivel.

What on earth do you think you've contributed with this nasty small minded post?

christmasoompa Feb 11th 2016 10:35 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by Shakyuk (Post 11864190)
There's a report button! :huh:

I probably would have used it on a few posts in this thread to be honest.

Yes. I realise you're not a newbie, but perhaps another read of the 'Newcomers to the Forum' sticky thread, and the FAQ, would be useful? It'll tell you about this and other forum features.

If you use the report button, then that report goes to all mods for the forum, super mods and site admin too, so lots of people to take a look. We get lots of reports every day as you can imagine, but obviously only take action on any that actually break site rules. So no point in reporting a post that you just disagree with, but if you feel it breaks a rule, then yes, do use it.

HTH.

not2old Feb 11th 2016 10:39 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by Novocastrian (Post 11864337)
OK. That's enough of this drivel.

What on earth do you think you've contributed with this nasty small minded post?

Just like your drivel & more of it that keeps the thread going ;)

Where would BE be without Pancakes & drivel? :amen:

christmasoompa Feb 11th 2016 10:45 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by Shakyuk (Post 11864187)
I think this thread and the spin off threads serve no purpose and do not add to the forum. If I was a mod I'd just delete them and move on.

1) If we deleted all the posts that 'serve no purpose' and are thread drift, we'd have barely any posts left on the forum; and (2) I've got enough to do without going around and deleting all miscellaneous posts on the numerous threads that get posted here every day! :eek:

christmasoompa Feb 11th 2016 10:46 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by not2old (Post 11864342)
Just like your drivel & more of it that keeps the thread going ;)

Where would BE be without Pancakes & drivel? :amen:

Drivel is fab. But let's leave rugbymum's previous posting history out of the thread please, and back to the important issues in hand. Lemon and sugar for me please, ta muchly.

not2old Feb 11th 2016 10:54 am

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by christmasoompa (Post 11864356)
Drivel is fab. But let's leave rugbymum's previous posting history out of the thread please, and back to the important issues in hand.

Lemon and sugar for me please, ta muchly.

massively disappointed [thread title] was the rugbymum posts also, with drivel of course:rofl:

Back to the Panatone french toast & bacon on this cold morning here in Southern Ontario

Wonder if the car will start this morning... 'keep calm & drivel on'

BristolUK Feb 11th 2016 12:11 pm

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by christmasoompa (Post 11864356)
...important issues in hand. Lemon and sugar for me please, ta muchly.

Aren't you a bit late? ;)

We always had Tate and Lyle syrup on ours when I were a lad.
http://static.caloriecount.about.com...les-157145.jpg

Now I have pancake, bacon and egg.

christmasoompa Feb 11th 2016 12:12 pm

Re: Is anyone else massively disappointed in Canada?
 

Originally Posted by BristolUK (Post 11864468)
Aren't you a bit late? ;)

We always had Tate and Lyle syrup on ours when I were a lad.
http://static.caloriecount.about.com...les-157145.jpg

Now I have pancake, bacon and egg.

Never too late for pancakes! We did have them on Tues, a double whammy with savoury for main course and sweet for pud. :thumbsup:


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