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Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

Old Nov 20th 2004, 6:42 pm
  #1  
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Default Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

A rather amusing article in a Seattle newspaper regarding influx of Americans wanting to go to Canada.
Link to the page below quote :

Quote:
"They'll join the crowd like all the other people who want to come to Canada," said Immigration Minister Judy Sgro when asked if Americans would get special treatment because they are, well, let's face it ... Americans.

This is not an encouraging sign. The fact that the Canadian government would not be excited about, let alone give special treatment to, 56 million sullen coffee snobs with no jobs or health insurance tells me that it would probably also not be excited later when we tear down all their hockey rinks and replace them with Internet cafes.

Another drawback to moving to Canada is the language barrier. Canadians talk incessantly about a boot, as in, "I'll be there to watch hockey at a boot 7." Immigrant Americans would squander much of their first year in Canada trying to comprehend the national fascination with high-topped waterproof footwear, a dispiriting prospect at best.

(On the other hand, I suspect that transplanted Americans would have little difficulty getting accustomed to the repetitive use of "eh," as in: "Let's go out for pizza, eh, and beer." "Eh" is nothing more than a slightly shorter version of the common American syllable, "huh.")

Food might present another problem for expatriated Americans. An example of Canadian haute cuisine is poutine, a combination of French fries, barbecue sauce and cheese curds, sometimes referred to by connoisseurs as "heart attack in a bowl."

On the other hand, the hot new food-like product just out in the United States (and just in time for Thanksgiving) is Turkey and Gravy soda and Green Bean Casserole soda. (Be sure to save room for the Fruitcake Soda.)

If you're having trouble deciding, be advised that the sodas are all calorie- and carb-free, something that cannot be said of the poutine.

Canadian music, or, more accurately, music by Canadians, also might take some getting used to. A quick survey of musical groups with Canadian roots uncovered these lyrics:

"When she was three

Her Barbies always did it on the first date."

-- "Life in a Nutshell" (Barenaked Ladies)

"I've never seen your breath before

But I'm disgusted by the thought of it."

-- "Big Dumb Rocket" (Our Lady Peace)

"My software is not

Compatible with you."

-- "Without Rings" (Neil Young)

Finally, Americans will have to come to terms with the fact that they are moving from a country that is a superpower to a country that is, well, not.

Here is how the two countries match up in several key areas:

Armed Forces budget: U.S. -- $267,700,000,000; Canada -- $7,861,000,000

Best ground weapon: U.S.-- M-1 Abrams tank; Canada -- Mounties

Military hero: U.S. -- Gen. Douglas MacArthur; Canada -- Dudley Do-Right

Secret Weapon: U.S. -- Stealth technology; Canada -- Rabid beavers

So, it's my opinion that Americans should think twice before moving to Canada. It's cold, the food is weird and rumor has it that there are people there who are almost indistinguishable from the French.

And, besides, you don't want to miss out on all the fun. Because in the United States, there's always another election just around the corner.



http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/saturd..._grimes20.html
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Old Nov 20th 2004, 6:56 pm
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Default Re: Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

Originally Posted by gooding
Another drawback to moving to Canada is the language barrier. Canadians talk incessantly about a boot, as in, "I'll be there to watch hockey at a boot 7." Immigrant Americans would squander much of their first year in Canada trying to comprehend the national fascination with high-topped waterproof footwear, a dispiriting prospect at best.
ive lived in canada for 22 years out of the 30 ive been alive and ive never heard anyone pronounce it a-boot! id really love to know where that came from... unless its very specific to a certain region in canada....


Originally Posted by gooding

Food might present another problem for expatriated Americans. An example of Canadian haute cuisine is poutine, a combination of French fries, barbecue sauce and cheese curds, sometimes referred to by connoisseurs as "heart attack in a bowl."
mmmm poutine....

and this will be a problem for americans, why?
 
Old Nov 20th 2004, 7:25 pm
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Default Re: Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

Originally Posted by Velouria
ive lived in canada for 22 years out of the 30 ive been alive and ive never heard anyone pronounce it a-boot! id really love to know where that came from... unless its very specific to a certain region in canada....
I heard it: read this!
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Old Nov 20th 2004, 7:34 pm
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Default Re: Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

Originally Posted by Toontje
I heard it: read this!
fair point... i did live in quebec for those years and now im out west... never having experienced ontario accents that much

however i remember watching The Shipping News with Judi Dench ... now if thats really a newfoundland accent... damn!
 
Old Nov 20th 2004, 9:30 pm
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Default Re: Americans- Think twice before heading to Canada?

I get it now!!! I suppose they are suggesting that Americans don't have weird accents and don't eat fattening, unhealthy food!!

So how come the States is full of people with weird sounding accents and people that resemble the Goodyear Blimp???
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