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Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 10987050)
Just hunch but I think TKaur81 is a girl.
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Originally Posted by sdo1982
(Post 10985588)
It's quite normal, so don't worry.
Before we went, I was worried my wife was going to suffer, when we got there, it was me! I am very close to my family, and for some it is too much of a pull to remain overseas. There's nothing wrong with that, don't stay somewhere if you are genuinely unhappy! BUT We returned home (TWP expired) and from the moment we set foot in Heathrow, I knew the UK wasn't for me! Maybe a trip home to see family might be in order, or invite someone out to visit you? Skype and FaceTime are great ways to feel closer with people. In the end only you can decide, but just think of what a fantastic life experience you are having! Even if you return home, how many people can say they lived in another country :)
Originally Posted by Mikeypm
(Post 10987115)
She does sign off her post as Tina, not met many blokes called Tina so id assume she is a girl :rofl:
Originally Posted by DandNHill
(Post 10986068)
It's normal and for a long time it will hit you at the most unexpected times... Totally unpredictable.
Being on your own must be tough. Don't forget your new friends are just that...NEW! You haven't had a chance to build memories with them yet. When that happens you will start to feel more at home. I have been here just over 2 years and it's great to be able to say to somebody "haven't seen you in ages!" or for them to comment on how much the boys are growing...but it takes time to get to that point. My only suggestion is get out there, chat with people, join clubs, groups and so on and even talk to people on the street. One of the first people who made me feel normal here was a toothless bum who lived in the motel next to where we were staying when we first arrived. I still see him and he's my buddy. He will never realise how welcome he made me feel! :thumbup:
Originally Posted by MillieF
(Post 10986154)
I have moved country a few times, and now recognise that My head will enjoy the new experiences, but a part of my heart will be utterly bloody miserable. I understand how sad and bad I will feel now and I factor it into my plans. I take a bit of time to be nice to myself, buy myself a sinful cake and a bottle of wine, and then make time to have a full weep fest complete with weepy DVD in bed. It really is a natural phase, and has nothing to do with whether you will eventually be happy in Canada or not, it is just a bit of a process to be borne. Try to love yourself a bit, everybody that loved you at home still does, and are proud of you for being independent and adventurous, when you feel like a weep, just go for it and let rip, awfully good for the soul:thumbup:
Hi Millie, thankyou for your advice too , A few of my friends have said that i will feel pretty crap and to just be kind to myself.. its not the fact that I dislike Canada, its more the fact I've undergone a huge change and I feel out of my comfort zone, and away from all my comfort, thats what I think is making me feel upset...and yes sometimes I do have a bit of a weepfest lol Vancouver is really awsome and tons to do, I definately don't hate it, just wish I could adjust super quick to the change... :)
Originally Posted by bcmama
(Post 10986944)
Hey :) sorry to hear your struggling with home sickness. Seems that it's all part of this settling in business. I know what you mean, sometimes I just feel completely overwhelmingly struck by the need to go home, but then logic kicks in and I think, well after the initial few days back seeing friends and family - then what? How would I feel if someone said my PR was a mistake and I had to go back tomorrow?
My advice would be keep yourself busy, busy doing things with people - fitness classes, book club, learn something new, volunteering etc. Although I agree with letting yourself have an off day and stay in your PJs crying and hating your new life, see it as just one bad day. Do you have anyone coming out to visit you or trips home planned next year? Hello :) I think it is part of the 'settling in business' and like you I do think, well how will I feel if im back home and not liking things again like I did before I moved...I keep trying to tell myself of the reason why i moved etc..Ive been keeping busy so far meeting new people, and going to new immigrant workshops and ive managed to get a parttime job in a shoe store today..so will have to learn to be a good salesperson...so i am hoping it can distract me further... I would like to visit home at the end of January etc if possible :) |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by TKaur81
(Post 10987166)
Hello :)
I think it is part of the 'settling in business' and like you I do think, well how will I feel if im back home and not liking things again like I did before I moved...I keep trying to tell myself of the reason why i moved etc..Ive been keeping busy so far meeting new people, and going to new immigrant workshops and ive managed to get a parttime job in a shoe store today..so will have to learn to be a good salesperson...so i am hoping it can distract me further... I would like to visit home at the end of January etc if possible :) |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by TKaur81
(Post 10987162)
Hi Millie, thankyou for your advice too , A few of my friends have said that i will feel pretty crap and to just be kind to myself.. its not the fact that I dislike Canada, its more the fact I've undergone a huge change and I feel out of my comfort zone, and away from all my comfort, thats what I think is making me feel upset...and yes sometimes I do have a bit of a weepfest lol Vancouver is really awsome and tons to do, I definately don't hate it, just wish I could adjust super quick to the change... :)
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Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Homesickness is completely normal. We've all had it.
For me part of it was never knowing in the early days where to find things - which shop to go to etc. Even know - renovating our basement and a bit lost with all the different paints here and knowing which ones to buy - can all be a bit confusing. I have made some really good friends at my son's school which has helped a lot because all of them being Canadian can point me in the right direction for anything I need and they have been so welcoming and accepting of me - I think I've hit lucky tho because a lot of people say the opposite. Go out and meet people - there are loads of ways to meet people - this will help. Everything just takes time - I'd say it took over 12 months to really feel settled here - give it a good go because if you go back too early you will always regret it. HTH :) |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Havent been on this forum for the longest time but Ive been here 4 1/2 years & Im still dreadfully homesick. Ive been back to uk every year since I arrived to visit family etc.
Also its cold cold cold here for way too long. I guess my heart belongs to UK :( |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
If I do recall, this recent move of yours is the first time you have moved out of your childhood home, away from your parents. Am I correct? This is not simply a matter of moving countries, it's also a new milestone in your life - moving out, away from the family! I remember when I first moved out, most days I was good, but other days I was extremely nostalgic and sad for the comforts of home... and I had only moved across the city! I too was (and still am) close to my family. I remember feeling sad because I would think, "I am no longer going back to sleep in my bedroom", and part of me mourned for that, even though I was old enough and knew that it was time to move on and become independent. It took a while before living on my own felt like home, and not a scary, isolating experience.
Give it time, my friend. You have embarked on a dramatic change in lifestyle, where nothing is familiar anymore. Your home isn't your home, inside or outside your house. It will take time for this shock to lessen, and for the unfamiliar to become "normal", and perhaps eventually comforting. :) |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Apparently it takes two years to settle into a new place. Yes. Two. Years.
I thought I wouldn't have any problems moving to Canada, because I had already left my 'home' once to move to the UK and spent over 7 years there prior to coming to Canada, I did go through the worse homesickness phase ever. I thought it would be my bf who would suffer (he did, and still does, but much less than I had anticipated), it was me who got depressed, packed her bags and was ready to return to Europe. Fortunately, he helped me get through it and I stayed. Now I'm pregnant and looking forward to new things in my life, but homesickness still gets to me. I still sob uncontrollably under the shower at least once every two weeks because of how much I miss my friends and family, but I've learned now that it's normal. And it takes time. A lot of time. I would tell you to try to go out there and meet people, make friends as that's what everyone told me. But that isn't easy. I've been here almost a year and still haven't made any friends. But...joining some groups does help. Basically, getting out and about, finding things to fill your time, doing things that will take your mind off of thinking about 'back home'. Good luck! |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Been here nearly 5 years .. Still get the odd sobbing session!
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Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 10987050)
Just hunch but I think TKaur81 is a girl.
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Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Hi Tina
I can relate entirely to what you are experiencing. I have been in Vancouver BC for nearly 2 months and whilst I love the city and have met some great people I have days when I feel really homesick. Try not to beat yourself up for feeling like this, its normal and it passes. It really helps for me to remember why I wanted to come here in the first place and to see the year for the adventure and experience that it is. Nothing lasts forever and whether it is a good thing or bad thing, the year will come to an end and you can choose what to do next. Until then try to have fun and take advantage of skype! I skype "date" my friends with a glass of wine (although this does mean opening a bottle at noon for me as I'm 8 hours behind the UK!) and this helps a lot. Kat |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by Oink
(Post 10988028)
I don't know what part of Vancouver you live in, but they're opening a new kebab shop on 4th Ave. soon, which always cheers me up. :thumbup:
I've not tried kebabs here yet Oink, but I may have to check it out...I'm by Langara... |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by Geordie Lass
(Post 10988073)
Homesickness is completely normal. We've all had it.
For me part of it was never knowing in the early days where to find things - which shop to go to etc. Even know - renovating our basement and a bit lost with all the different paints here and knowing which ones to buy - can all be a bit confusing. I have made some really good friends at my son's school which has helped a lot because all of them being Canadian can point me in the right direction for anything I need and they have been so welcoming and accepting of me - I think I've hit lucky tho because a lot of people say the opposite. Go out and meet people - there are loads of ways to meet people - this will help. Everything just takes time - I'd say it took over 12 months to really feel settled here - give it a good go because if you go back too early you will always regret it. HTH :) |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by Rooander
(Post 10988428)
Havent been on this forum for the longest time but Ive been here 4 1/2 years & Im still dreadfully homesick. Ive been back to uk every year since I arrived to visit family etc.
Also its cold cold cold here for way too long. I guess my heart belongs to UK :( Awww no Roo, wow your still feeling like this after 4.5 years...do you still prefer living in Canada though? Where are you if its that cold?? |
Re: Advice on Homesickness please? :(
Originally Posted by Lychee
(Post 10988516)
If I do recall, this recent move of yours is the first time you have moved out of your childhood home, away from your parents. Am I correct? This is not simply a matter of moving countries, it's also a new milestone in your life - moving out, away from the family! I remember when I first moved out, most days I was good, but other days I was extremely nostalgic and sad for the comforts of home... and I had only moved across the city! I too was (and still am) close to my family. I remember feeling sad because I would think, "I am no longer going back to sleep in my bedroom", and part of me mourned for that, even though I was old enough and knew that it was time to move on and become independent. It took a while before living on my own felt like home, and not a scary, isolating experience.
Give it time, my friend. You have embarked on a dramatic change in lifestyle, where nothing is familiar anymore. Your home isn't your home, inside or outside your house. It will take time for this shock to lessen, and for the unfamiliar to become "normal", and perhaps eventually comforting. :) Yes your absolutely correct, this is a huge move away from my family for the first ever time, you totally have described what I've been feeling. It is a bit of a milestone when you describe it that way, and yes I've had sooo many moments of ' I wish I was in my own room at home' 'in my own bed' or 'i wish i was sat on the couch in front of the fire talking to my gran' like I used to do...but its just not going to happen right now, like you said I think I am mourning for that...its not something that I will have again because I NEED to learn to be independant, your right and i guess I need to give myself a break? :) |
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