TKaur81

Hello everyone

I moved to Vancouver BC alone about 6-7 weeks ago, and although I love the city and the sights, and made some really nice new friends... why is that I still have moments here and there every week where I am sobbing my heart out cause I miss home so much? I was very close to family and I spent most of my time living with them back in the UK... I've wanted to try living in Vancouver for a heck of a long time, and now that I've finally achieved it, I can't seem to get over these crazy heartachy feelings of wishing I was home, some moments I just wanna pack my stuff and head right back...I really WANT to try and at least give it 6-8 months here, but I don't know how to stop the tears on some days

Who else has felt this way? and if so can you please please offer me any advice on how to take my mind off the homesickness

Thankyou
Tina

sdo1982

It's quite normal, so don't worry.
Before we went, I was worried my wife was going to suffer, when we got there, it was me!
I am very close to my family, and for some it is too much of a pull to remain overseas. There's nothing wrong with that, don't stay somewhere if you are genuinely unhappy!

BUT

We returned home (TWP expired) and from the moment we set foot in Heathrow, I knew the UK wasn't for me!
Maybe a trip home to see family might be in order, or invite someone out to visit you?
Skype and FaceTime are great ways to feel closer with people.

In the end only you can decide, but just think of what a fantastic life experience you are having! Even if you return home, how many people can say they lived in another country

DandNHill

It's normal and for a long time it will hit you at the most unexpected times... Totally unpredictable.

Being on your own must be tough. Don't forget your new friends are just that...NEW! You haven't had a chance to build memories with them yet. When that happens you will start to feel more at home.
I have been here just over 2 years and it's great to be able to say to somebody "haven't seen you in ages!" or for them to comment on how much the boys are growing...but it takes time to get to that point.

My only suggestion is get out there, chat with people, join clubs, groups and so on and even talk to people on the street. One of the first people who made me feel normal here was a toothless bum who lived in the motel next to where we were staying when we first arrived. I still see him and he's my buddy. He will never realise how welcome he made me feel!

dgagitw

View it as a disease.

MillieF

I have moved country a few times, and now recognise that My head will enjoy the new experiences, but a part of my heart will be utterly bloody miserable. I understand how sad and bad I will feel now and I factor it into my plans. I take a bit of time to be nice to myself, buy myself a sinful cake and a bottle of wine, and then make time to have a full weep fest complete with weepy DVD in bed. It really is a natural phase, and has nothing to do with whether you will eventually be happy in Canada or not, it is just a bit of a process to be borne. Try to love yourself a bit, everybody that loved you at home still does, and are proud of you for being independent and adventurous, when you feel like a weep, just go for it and let rip, awfully good for the soul

Yandros

I say this with some hesitation as it could backfire and make the problem worse. With that in mind, one thing I have found that helps is to try to make a few friends who are also UK expats, and preferably ones who emmigrated in the last 5-10 years. For me it helps to sometimes be able to talk to someone whose history and experiences are more similar to mine than someone who has lived here all or most of their life. The caveat to this is that if all your friends are UK expats then settling in and making a new permanent home in Canada may take longer than it would if you had Canadian friends. I'm sure this won't work for everyone, but it may be worth a try.

I'd also echo the general view that what the OP is going through is normal. I've been here about 18 months now, and I still get lonely and homesick periodically (and that's despite my wife being here too).

Good luck

Oink

Why be miserable? You should go home and if you like Vancouver a lot come back on holiday in July or August.

Blossom23

Oink

You could also think how lucky you are being homesick with nice surroundings and okay weather. You could be homesick in the rest of the shit hole of the country. Apparently its naffing freezing in Saskatwaan.

not2old

part of the course. Knuckle down, keep busy, get on with making Canada your new home. After 2 years report back in.

Whatever you do do not keep on comparing Canada to the UK with the this that & the other. Have your family come over for a visit & hold off going back for a holiday for at least 2 years.

You have electronic communication, cheap long distance phoning ... use it wisely

It took me/us 2 years, then one day it was gone. Never looked back since & that was 46 years ago.

not2old

meh! you are a funny bugger

that's for sure or in s.h of Toronto.

Imagine if the OP had emigrated to OZ .....

snuggs

Being Homesick is totally Normal... I travelled australia in 2011 and I did miss home but I kept in touch with my family every week with Skype and facebook.
I made the most of my adventure even though at times I couldnt believe what the hell I was doing... normally when I was broke or lost.
I met many people who were in the same situation as me, some missed home to much and decided to go home.. sometimes I wanted to do that....

Now I am living in Canada with my fiance' ... who I met in Australia


Best thing you can do... Is definately keep in touch with home... I skype my parents every week.
And then make the most of where you're currently living.... I assume your on IEC... the 12 months with go fast.... make friends...travel... do the stuff you wouldnt be able to do at home!

MillieF

It's not precisely naffing warm here either....however TKaur81, is this your first time away from home...how does your wife feel; had she fallen apart might you have felt less homesick? I only ask as ths is my 2nd winter here in brass monkeys New Brunswick, the first my husband had planned to be here for, but other matters took him away, and now he is forlornly viewing the chilly times with a sense of dread and nostalgia for past times....whereas I realise my past times have got up and gone and I'd better get on with the ones coming up. I'm just wondering whether your wife might be coping somewhat better than you had expected her to, and that maybe it had made you feel less settled?

That is not by the way a criticism, just a question....I do see myself from the other end of the spectrum as it were...

bcmama

Hey sorry to hear your struggling with home sickness. Seems that it's all part of this settling in business. I know what you mean, sometimes I just feel completely overwhelmingly struck by the need to go home, but then logic kicks in and I think, well after the initial few days back seeing friends and family - then what? How would I feel if someone said my PR was a mistake and I had to go back tomorrow?
My advice would be keep yourself busy, busy doing things with people - fitness classes, book club, learn something new, volunteering etc. Although I agree with letting yourself have an off day and stay in your PJs crying and hating your new life, see it as just one bad day.
Do you have anyone coming out to visit you or trips home planned next year?

Oink

Just hunch but I think TKaur81 is a girl.