BEVS

It is a very helpful thread isn't it . Karma all round if I remember to do that.

..and welcome to the wonderful world of BE Debbiej142.

Debbiej142

Thank you. Some of the points and links have been a great help x

Debbiej142

Thank you so much for all this information. I truly appreciate the time you've taken to give me this advice :-)

GeniB

Rubbish Mike! (with all due respect and hopefully quotes to your liking
lol) This is the BE Netherlands site.where else would you go to find basic information about the country? I hope Debbie follows my link to the IWCE.Would she have found that on the high street? I only wish I had had it when I moved several mistakes might have been avoided

Fugee

She said "What I wouldn't want is to be an ex pat in an ex pat bubble- what would be the point of that?"

Isn't that exactly what she could well end up being if she got involved with the IWCE? Or are all of the expats I have met whose wife's are members of IWCE an abnormality?

Fugee

Oirschot is very nice.

I assume that since they have been negotiating with your husband for so long, he has skills that entitle him to the "30% ruling" on his earnings.

GeniB

Sorry coming back to this months later! Ha! fugee,do I detect a hint of cynicism?
In what way are your wife's fellow club members abnormal?

As I was President for a time of the club, I find that a bit of a 'put down' remark. I gave Debbie a link she may or may not find useful in the future. Surely that is the point. It's all very well for the 'menfolk' to scoff.( or as it's 2016 the partner in full time employment)It's a very different kettle of fish for the 'Trailing Spouse'left at home.

We all had great plans to integrate and learn the language,avoid the ex-pat trap etc at the start .However life can have other plans. Like it or not the Netherlands is a very hard country to integrate into. Out of my many friends and hundreds of acquaintances over the yrs in NL,I can count on one hand those who have fully engaged with the country to the exclusion of all ex-pats.

I do hope we hear from Debbie again to find out if her plans to be exclusively apart from ex-pats has worked.Indeed if her experience is a positive one. I found that mixing with all the 62 Nationalities in the club far more rewarding in the end than hearing for the umpteenth time that I wasn't pronouncing a word correctly,or that I wasn't Dutch when was I going home,?or basically that it wasn't worth them getting to know me as I WOULD be going home!!aagh.

I did persevere(and you need to)and learn't Dutch to the stage that I am extremely comfortable in the language,but it takes time,LOTS of time,for the average person that is. In the meantime,rather than go mad with loneliness, I joined anything and everything that I thought would help me- Don't knock it.

Fugee

Did I write that?

FYI my ex was (and still is) Dutch. And I don't think the wives of expats I have met are abnormal.

GeniB

I have reprinted your quote Fugee .It is a tad hard to understand your meaning I must admit.
Are you saying that the OP would automatically be living in an 'ex-pat bubble' if she joined the IWCE.? Or are you saying that all the ex-pat wives YOU met (who incidentally belonged to the IWCE) were an abnormality? i.e. implying they all lived in an ex-pat bubble.
The latter being quite a sweeping statement! I was President of a club consisting at the time of 260 women.I would be hard pressed to know the personal circumstances of even a handful of them in regard to their integration or not with the Dutch community. It's not a black and white thing.

Cynic

Must admit, I'd never heard of the IWC and had to Google it to find out. I'm ex-forces and spent the majority of my 24 years in Germany where we had thousands of English speaking wives who had accompanied their husbands overseas. The vast majority lived in English communities, used the NAAFI shop, the Services cinemas and schools. If it wasn't for the Wives Clubs that grew in every unit/Garrison, most of these ladies would have been stuck inside 4 walls and never seen much of Germany; for many it was the springboard into the local German community. Mrs C ran the one in Düsseldorf for a couple of years, they were generally excellent places, where they made friendships that have lasted decades; I wouldn't knock such organisations.

GeniB

Used to love 'popping over' to Dusseldorf Cynic. Great shopping. The club would organise christmas market trips in the winter. We also went over to see Mama Mia when the show came over from London. My friends daughter had one of the leading roles. Happy memories

K91

Hi Debbie,

My family and I relocated to The Netherlands four weeks ago and have met a couple of other English families here who have been here for a while. We do not pay taxes here because technically my husband is employed by the UK and we just reside here and our rent comes out of his pay before we see it but generally to live off (with two children also aged 4 and 6) we spend about 200 euros a week on food/coffees/fuel/eating out. Our tv/internet/phones is 120 euros for everything and all we pay for on top of that is the childrens after school activities. There are lots of free things to do as a family where we live too so don't spend nearly as much as we did in the UK on outings. I hope that helps you make a decision.

Kate xx