Are you toilet phobic?
Aug 17th 2007, 12:19 pm
#31
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( cynical person!)
Aug 17th 2007, 12:19 pm
#32
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
something to look at
Aug 17th 2007, 12:23 pm
#33
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Aug 17th 2007, 12:25 pm
#34
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
something to look at http://youtube.com/watch?v=UAASmNi7vAs
Aug 17th 2007, 12:26 pm
#36
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
Has anybody laid a corn on the cob
Aug 17th 2007, 12:30 pm
#37
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
Sorry - just had a break and a nice dish of fresh fruit salad - glad I ate it away from the PC!
Our poo stories were extremely innocent - such as needing a poo on the way home from school and having to poop in an old lady's prize tulips (we were only about 8 & 4). We thought we were hilarious - I'm quite saddened that, even with encouragement, my daughters don't seem to be following suit!!
Our poo stories were extremely innocent - such as needing a poo on the way home from school and having to poop in an old lady's prize tulips (we were only about 8 & 4). We thought we were hilarious - I'm quite saddened that, even with encouragement, my daughters don't seem to be following suit!!
Aug 17th 2007, 12:31 pm
#39
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Aug 17th 2007, 12:34 pm
#40
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
This is my true poo story, that you may have read on another thread, some time ago....
I contracted dysentry and salmonella whilst in Africa many years ago. I had to have my poo tested for many months afterwards until it cleared from my system. I rented a top floor flat in a grand Edwardian house in Bristol. All well and good, until the numb skull at the Lab decided to post my sample pots through the main letter box in a clear bag without my name on.
A week later I get a call from the lab as they had a sample pot from a Mrs BlahBlah from my address - a coincedence perhaps - no she wasn't registered - she must have just thought it was a survey of Clifton poo
I contracted dysentry and salmonella whilst in Africa many years ago. I had to have my poo tested for many months afterwards until it cleared from my system. I rented a top floor flat in a grand Edwardian house in Bristol. All well and good, until the numb skull at the Lab decided to post my sample pots through the main letter box in a clear bag without my name on.
A week later I get a call from the lab as they had a sample pot from a Mrs BlahBlah from my address - a coincedence perhaps - no she wasn't registered - she must have just thought it was a survey of Clifton poo
Aug 17th 2007, 12:36 pm
#42
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
I have a poo story although it might not be a ' proper poo story!!!'
When we had our son ( now 9) as the mother I did ALL the nappies and all the OH would do was comment "oh it stinks" (really??
) and "put it in a bag" so anyway one day I was doing said childs nappy and he comes in and says his piece (well rehearsed and a bit panto to me by now!)
mutter,mutter..... and he said "which kid dropped maltesers on the floor?? and i told him no-one has had them, he turned white as a ghost and proceeded to spit out all this mushy brown stuff from his mouth !! OMG he had eaten his own sons' poo , my mother and myself fell around laughing and I said "well if you'd ever changed him you would know that he's constipated sometimes and does ' pebble poop !!' Ah lifes little lessons!
He swears he can still taste it if he thinks about it
When we had our son ( now 9) as the mother I did ALL the nappies and all the OH would do was comment "oh it stinks" (really??
) and "put it in a bag" so anyway one day I was doing said childs nappy and he comes in and says his piece (well rehearsed and a bit panto to me by now!) mutter,mutter..... and he said "which kid dropped maltesers on the floor?? and i told him no-one has had them, he turned white as a ghost and proceeded to spit out all this mushy brown stuff from his mouth !! OMG he had eaten his own sons' poo
, my mother and myself fell around laughing and I said "well if you'd ever changed him you would know that he's constipated sometimes and does ' pebble poop !!' Ah lifes little lessons! He swears he can still taste it if he thinks about it
Aug 17th 2007, 12:36 pm
#43
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Aug 17th 2007, 12:37 pm
#44
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
The place I worked at back in UK had very low water pressure and sometimes you would find a present waiting for you when you went to the loo, or you`d stand there flushing your own wee presents (it used to take aaaagggeeeees for the costern to fill up each time)- swings & roundabouts really. Until one day I, no sorry someone who definately wasn`t me, went to the loo and gave birth to a baby whale, which did not want to disappear, 6 times I flushed , waiting with baited breath each time, it just kept bobbing back up to haunt me, sorry I mean her, errr, this other person, so what does a girl do in a situation like this I hear you ask?? Why she tries to cover her shame with loo roll, put the loo seat down and hide in the loo until there is no-one around, sneak out the door and then leg it up the stairs to her office. All well and good until the next day this person nips down to the loo and finds some very snotty posters plastered around the loos informing everyone that just because the water pressure is bad, it`s no excuse to leave a present and that you should stand there as long as it takes and flush it away rather than trying to hide your shame with loo roll. It also went on to say that whoever left the floater in the loo the previous day should see a doctor as they obviously needed medical treatment after giving birth to it.
So there I stand completely horrified, face burning with shame and what do do I do?? Why I walk out the loo to find it is a subject of heated conversation throughout the building, everyone is annoyed about the poster but everyone is paranoid that they could be the phantom poo floater, we all stand there talking about it, looking for signs of guilt whlst trying not to look guilty ourselves. I happily stand there saying "Yeh cheeky bitch, for all she knows it could be someone with a bad tummy, or IBS, after all shit happens!!" next thing the posters are taken down by HR as they feel it is a form of bullying and harrasment which could lead to someone feeling upset, especially if they have a medical condition. The person who put the posters up gets a talking to (she was a senior grade and should not have done it) and I keep a low profile, after all it might not have been mine you know!! 
So there I stand completely horrified, face burning with shame and what do do I do?? Why I walk out the loo to find it is a subject of heated conversation throughout the building, everyone is annoyed about the poster but everyone is paranoid that they could be the phantom poo floater, we all stand there talking about it, looking for signs of guilt whlst trying not to look guilty ourselves. I happily stand there saying "Yeh cheeky bitch, for all she knows it could be someone with a bad tummy, or IBS, after all shit happens!!
" next thing the posters are taken down by HR as they feel it is a form of bullying and harrasment which could lead to someone feeling upset, especially if they have a medical condition. The person who put the posters up gets a talking to (she was a senior grade and should not have done it) and I keep a low profile, after all it might not have been mine you know!!
Aug 17th 2007, 12:43 pm
#45
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Re: Are you toilet phobic?
The place I worked at back in UK had very low water pressure and sometimes you would find a present waiting for you when you went to the loo, or you`d stand there flushing your own wee presents (it used to take aaaagggeeeees for the costern to fill up each time)- swings & roundabouts really. Until one day I, no sorry someone who definately wasn`t me, went to the loo and gave birth to a baby whale, which did not want to disappear, 6 times I flushed , waiting with baited breath each time, it just kept bobbing back up to haunt me, sorry I mean her, errr, this other person, so what does a girl do in a situation like this I hear you ask?? Why she tries to cover her shame with loo roll, put the loo seat down and hide in the loo until there is no-one around, sneak out the door and then leg it up the stairs to her office. All well and good until the next day this person nips down to the loo and finds some very snotty posters plastered around the loos informing everyone that just because the water pressure is bad, it`s no excuse to leave a present and that you should stand there as long as it takes and flush it away rather than trying to hide your shame with loo roll. It also went on to say that whoever left the floater in the loo the previous day should see a doctor as they obviously needed medical treatment after giving birth to it.
So there I stand completely horrified, face burning with shame and what do do I do?? Why I walk out the loo to find it is a subject of heated conversation throughout the building, everyone is annoyed about the poster but everyone is paranoid that they could be the phantom poo floater, we all stand there talking about it, looking for signs of guilt whlst trying not to look guilty ourselves. I happily stand there saying "Yeh cheeky bitch, for all she knows it could be someone with a bad tummy, or IBS, after all shit happens!!" next thing the posters are taken down by HR as they feel it is a form of bullying and harrasment which could lead to someone feeling upset, especially if they have a medical condition. The person who put the posters up gets a talking to (she was a senior grade and should not have done it) and I keep a low profile, after all it might not have been mine you know!!
So there I stand completely horrified, face burning with shame and what do do I do?? Why I walk out the loo to find it is a subject of heated conversation throughout the building, everyone is annoyed about the poster but everyone is paranoid that they could be the phantom poo floater, we all stand there talking about it, looking for signs of guilt whlst trying not to look guilty ourselves. I happily stand there saying "Yeh cheeky bitch, for all she knows it could be someone with a bad tummy, or IBS, after all shit happens!!
" next thing the posters are taken down by HR as they feel it is a form of bullying and harrasment which could lead to someone feeling upset, especially if they have a medical condition. The person who put the posters up gets a talking to (she was a senior grade and should not have done it) and I keep a low profile, after all it might not have been mine you know!! Also, don't you just hate it when someone is in the next cubicle to you and your waiting for them to leave, so you can have a good shit and farting session in peace.