Are you old fashioned?
Oct 25th 2007, 6:57 am
#31
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 3,376
Re: Are you old fashioned?
Some of the values I admire in my other half are her ability to think for herself, take charge and put me in my place from time to time!
I went out with a girl a few years ago who was a total wallflower, a sheep..........no mind of her own. Bored me bloomin' ridgid!! Give me a feisty Bra Burner anyday!!
I went out with a girl a few years ago who was a total wallflower, a sheep..........no mind of her own. Bored me bloomin' ridgid!! Give me a feisty Bra Burner anyday!!
Oct 25th 2007, 7:03 am
#32
Lapine Member
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: Austin, Texas in my own little world
Posts: 21,691
Re: Are you old fashioned?
What if the mother has a career that cannot be "left"?
What if the parents divorce after mum's been at home? Mum's screwed!
I know -- I've lived these things as a female engineer.
And now my job is the better paying between myself and my (new) husband.
We live in the US where if you don't have a job, you are screwed (no dole, no child benefit etc).
The one nice thing about my career is that it's very flexible, so long as you are willing to work loads of hours a week. You can pop out to your kid's school play -- this isn't true for the women who work in "traditional" female roles where they can't leave work very easily (nurses, teachers).
It's never easy being a woman but it's really not easy being a mother and having to decide what to do about work. Even the wife of a gazillionaire might want to retain her professional identity.
What if the parents divorce after mum's been at home? Mum's screwed!
I know -- I've lived these things as a female engineer.
And now my job is the better paying between myself and my (new) husband.
We live in the US where if you don't have a job, you are screwed (no dole, no child benefit etc).
The one nice thing about my career is that it's very flexible, so long as you are willing to work loads of hours a week. You can pop out to your kid's school play -- this isn't true for the women who work in "traditional" female roles where they can't leave work very easily (nurses, teachers).
It's never easy being a woman but it's really not easy being a mother and having to decide what to do about work. Even the wife of a gazillionaire might want to retain her professional identity.
Oct 25th 2007, 7:06 am
#33
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 6,135
Re: Are you old fashioned?
What if the mother has a career that cannot be "left"?
What if the parents divorce after mum's been at home? Mum's screwed!
I know -- I've lived these things as a female engineer.
And now my job is the better paying between myself and my (new) husband.
We live in the US where if you don't have a job, you are screwed (no dole, no child benefit etc).
The one nice thing about my career is that it's very flexible, so long as you are willing to work loads of hours a week. You can pop out to your kid's school play -- this isn't true for the women who work in "traditional" female roles where they can't leave work very easily (nurses, teachers).
It's never easy being a woman but it's really not easy being a mother and having to decide what to do about work. Even the wife of a gazillionaire might want to retain her professional identity.
What if the parents divorce after mum's been at home? Mum's screwed!
I know -- I've lived these things as a female engineer.
And now my job is the better paying between myself and my (new) husband.
We live in the US where if you don't have a job, you are screwed (no dole, no child benefit etc).
The one nice thing about my career is that it's very flexible, so long as you are willing to work loads of hours a week. You can pop out to your kid's school play -- this isn't true for the women who work in "traditional" female roles where they can't leave work very easily (nurses, teachers).
It's never easy being a woman but it's really not easy being a mother and having to decide what to do about work. Even the wife of a gazillionaire might want to retain her professional identity.
Lau x
Oct 25th 2007, 10:00 am
#34
Forum Regular
Joined: Jan 2007
Location: Back in Melbourne after 9 years in the UK !!!
Posts: 259
Re: Are you old fashioned?
If I was a single parent I am sure I would still want to carry on with my job. (although having never been in that situation, I have no idea if I would be able to) But judging from how one of my single mother 'friends' over here lives, I would have no need to work anyway... Brand new 4wd, trips to the hairdresser & nail bar, out at the weekends, & she has just flown off to Cairns for 5 nights - not bad for someone who hasn't worked for the past 2 years is it? (:curse: That's a whole new thread, don't even get me started! lol)
Last edited by charb; Oct 25th 2007 at 10:32 am.
Oct 25th 2007, 10:37 am
#35
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Oct 25th 2007, 10:40 am
#37
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Oct 25th 2007, 2:00 pm
#38
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,995
Re: Are you old fashioned?
In an ideal World, parents would all be able to stay at home or work from home with their little ones. I firmly believe that children who have (whichever) parent as full time carer are more secure in themselves.
It breaks my heart when I see little babies going to childcare because the parents both have to work. I know sometimes it has to happen, but I do wonder about the parents........
It breaks my heart when I see little babies going to childcare because the parents both have to work. I know sometimes it has to happen, but I do wonder about the parents........
Oct 25th 2007, 2:06 pm
#39
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Melbourne
Posts: 6,135
Re: Are you old fashioned?
So, what exactly is it that you wonder about the parents? Both parents working does not necessarily mean that it has to happen. We could live just fine on only my husband's salary but I chose to work outside the home when my children were young. Do you wonder if that makes us bad parents? Unloving?
You know what is best for you and yours as I do....
Lau x
Oct 25th 2007, 2:13 pm
#40
A former regular of BE
Joined: Oct 2004
Location: Carramar, Perth
Posts: 6,241
Re: Are you old fashioned?
Jeez! You must have ended up with a tw@t like a witches hat!
I am not sure whether it is because we came to Australia where women working is less common than the UK, whether it is because Sam chose not to work for 18 months and got used to doing the housework or whether it is opportunity as I am in the city on a Friday night by virtue of being at work and hence going out is easy / normal but the dynamic of our relationship has changed and I now have at least one leg in the trousers.
In the UK I just about did the majority of the housework and went out less than Sam. These days if I try to cook I end up breaking / burning / scalding something or someone and have to ask where the cleaning stuff is. I do at least do the majority of the ironing - but only as that earns favours.
I am not sure whether it is because we came to Australia where women working is less common than the UK, whether it is because Sam chose not to work for 18 months and got used to doing the housework or whether it is opportunity as I am in the city on a Friday night by virtue of being at work and hence going out is easy / normal but the dynamic of our relationship has changed and I now have at least one leg in the trousers.
In the UK I just about did the majority of the housework and went out less than Sam. These days if I try to cook I end up breaking / burning / scalding something or someone and have to ask where the cleaning stuff is. I do at least do the majority of the ironing - but only as that earns favours.
Oct 25th 2007, 2:18 pm
#41
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: Are you old fashioned?
In an ideal World, parents would all be able to stay at home or work from home with their little ones. I firmly believe that children who have (whichever) parent as full time carer are more secure in themselves.
It breaks my heart when I see little babies going to childcare because the parents both have to work. I know sometimes it has to happen, but I do wonder about the parents........
I was a career girl until I had mine and thought I would want to go back to work. Once I had my baby though, I felt differently. My OH would have been happy either way but in certain respects he is very old fashioned - HE wouldn't have sacrificed his career.
We were unlucky in that we had NO family support - no baby sitters, no help with looking after a new baby etc. So the only options were us or childcare.
We took a dip in income and lifestyle in order for me to stay at home and provide a few years of dedicated nuturing. It was our choice and ironically, it has turned out to be the best thing we ever did financially! I now work from home and earn more than I did when I had an employer! My daughter is now at school and I work from home during the day, but I always drop her off and pick her up. I'm always at home if she's off school ill.
I realise that I'm lucky, but I do want other parents to realise that it's possible to combine what is best for your child / children with work.
PP, if you are thinking about having a family, then I would say that you are in an ideal position to organise your life in a similar fashion.
It breaks my heart when I see little babies going to childcare because the parents both have to work. I know sometimes it has to happen, but I do wonder about the parents........
I was a career girl until I had mine and thought I would want to go back to work. Once I had my baby though, I felt differently. My OH would have been happy either way but in certain respects he is very old fashioned - HE wouldn't have sacrificed his career.
We were unlucky in that we had NO family support - no baby sitters, no help with looking after a new baby etc. So the only options were us or childcare.
We took a dip in income and lifestyle in order for me to stay at home and provide a few years of dedicated nuturing. It was our choice and ironically, it has turned out to be the best thing we ever did financially! I now work from home and earn more than I did when I had an employer! My daughter is now at school and I work from home during the day, but I always drop her off and pick her up. I'm always at home if she's off school ill.
I realise that I'm lucky, but I do want other parents to realise that it's possible to combine what is best for your child / children with work.
PP, if you are thinking about having a family, then I would say that you are in an ideal position to organise your life in a similar fashion.
Oct 26th 2007, 1:10 am
#42
Canberra bound
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,062
Re: Are you old fashioned?
Long and the short of us - I think you can have both and I do. You just have to be really organised and plan well so you can be there when you need to be and want to be.
Oct 26th 2007, 2:05 am
#43
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: May 2004
Location: Birkdale QLD
Posts: 7,642
Re: Are you old fashioned?
I am quite old fashioned - wanted to be a full time housewife and stay at home mom. JTL is very new age - wanted to be a full time househusband and stay at home dad. Luckily there are things only women (well not all women, but most women if they want) can do for their new borns so I got the job, for now anyway. 
I think every family is different, and parents, old fashioned or not, know best what they should and could do for their children.
Mrs JTL
I think every family is different, and parents, old fashioned or not, know best what they should and could do for their children.
Mrs JTL
Oct 26th 2007, 6:45 am
#44
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: Are you old fashioned?
I have to disagree. I stayed home with both my kids until they were at least 2 and if anything they became clingy and didn't mix well. Once they were both in daycare they became independent and learnt how to mix socially with a wide range of people of all ages. I am pleased you were able to do what was best for your children but please don't judge others for doing what they feel is right for theirs.
Oct 26th 2007, 11:13 am
#45
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: Are you old fashioned?
Sorry if you thought I was judging. I know everyone's circumstances and children are different. However, I see far too many tiny babies (Under 12 months) in childcare 5 days a week, 10 hours a day. This is what upsets me. I know sometimes it is unavoidable, but a lot of the parents I see dropping off these babies are wealthy and I do wonder why they are doing it.
