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You know you are in Australia when...

You know you are in Australia when...

Old Apr 16th 2011, 2:00 am
  #16  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by eddie007
YKYIAW.....

You squeeze your way into a jam packed bar to watch a boxing match with a pint and youre the ONLY female in the whole bloody place... The crowds part and some one offers you their seat...
YKYIAW.....

You got to watch the fight in your local, and when you come back from the gents some bloody cute girl is sitting in your seat....
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 2:07 am
  #17  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by slapphead_otool
I remember when I was in the Mess in Poona. Must have been around 02 (1902 of course).

We used to thrash our houseboys and grooms to within an inch of their lives if they even looked at us. “Damn you boy, keep those eyes down” we would shout as we spilled our G&T on them. I remember “Bungalow” Branson killing a couple when he had drunk a little too much whiskey.

Now to hear that Australian girls have the temerity to actually speak to customers! Unbelievable.

I assume they at least did it with averted eyes? Did you consider horsewhipping?

Who do these colonial girls think they are?
"Bloody colonials!" did come to mind
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 2:17 am
  #18  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by slapphead_otool
YKYIAW.....

You got to watch the fight in your local, and when you come back from the gents some bloody cute girl is sitting in your seat....
Hmmmm... Cute girl... I dont believe we have met... But I dont believe ANYONE who has met me, no matter how strong the prescription of the beer goggles they are wearing would ever use the word cute and girl to describe me... Must have been some other bird...

But surely not! TWO girls in Oz who like to watch a fight??? Its too much of a coincidence to ignore....
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 2:39 am
  #19  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by eddie007
Hmmmm... Cute girl... I dont believe we have met... But I dont believe ANYONE who has met me, no matter how strong the prescription of the beer goggles they are wearing would ever use the word cute and girl to describe me... Must have been some other bird...

But surely not! TWO girls in Oz who like to watch a fight??? Its too much of a coincidence to ignore....
15 pints of New and a darkened bar.

Even my ex wife would look good....
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 4:04 am
  #20  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by paulry
You have bar-like conversations with Woolies checkout girls. Today, I collected my son from college and we popped into Woollies for a few things on the way home. The chirpy smiling checkout girl says to us "Happy Poets Day", Yeah okay I thought and smiled politely back at her. Next she says "Do you know what poets day is all about?" "...Uh no" I replied. So she shouts at the top of her voice "P**s Off Early - Tomorrow Saturday!!!" and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably like an Aussie Barbara Windsor. :dropjaw::bemusedlook: x 2
The middle-aged woman on the refunds desk at Target addresses you as "mate" every time. That was eight years ago, I don't think it would be allowed now...
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 4:17 am
  #21  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

YKYIAW.....

a) The little plane on the in-flight display crosses the coast.

b) The entire weekend's activity is planned around a Bunnings sausage sizzle.
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 4:24 am
  #22  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by paulry
You have bar-like conversations with Woolies checkout girls. Today, I collected my son from college and we popped into Woollies for a few things on the way home. The chirpy smiling checkout girl says to us "Happy Poets Day", Yeah okay I thought and smiled politely back at her. Next she says "Do you know what poets day is all about?" "...Uh no" I replied. So she shouts at the top of her voice "P**s Off Early - Tomorrow Saturday!!!" and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably like an Aussie Barbara Windsor. :dropjaw::bemusedlook: x 2
Good heavens, you must have found the only European check out chick in Woolies!

And you didnt know what Poets Day was???? Oh dear, your education is sadly lacking!
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 4:36 am
  #23  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by quoll
Good heavens, you must have found the only European check out chick in Woolies!

And you didnt know what Poets Day was???? Oh dear, your education is sadly lacking!
I didn't know that either

I like the assistants at our 'local' Woolies ... I managed to unsuccessfully juggle a bottle of pasta sauce the other day, juggled it all the way into many tiny sticky pieces on the floor of the aisle ... they couldn't have been nicer about clearing the results of my cack-handedness

I didn't even get the expected 'You should play for England' jibe ... these colonials are losing their edge ...
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 5:00 am
  #24  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by DeadVim
I didn't know that either

I like the assistants at our 'local' Woolies ... I managed to unsuccessfully juggle a bottle of pasta sauce the other day, juggled it all the way into many tiny sticky pieces on the floor of the aisle ... they couldn't have been nicer about clearing the results of my cack-handedness

I didn't even get the expected 'You should play for England' jibe ... these colonials are losing their edge ...
First Born got a snotty customer the other day, she actually came home and asked if 'that bloke Grayling' had moved here. She did her 'Hi there' and smile bit and the guy started F'ing and Blinding like there was no tomorrow so she just looked at him and said 'that bad huh?' He then told her to mind her own F'ing business and went and complained to the Supervisor who, not knowing what First Born had replied with, said 'you've had a bad day then Sir? Apparently the guy slammed his shopping down on the counter and stormed out. Unfortunately he'd already paid so he screwed up slightly.
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 5:41 am
  #25  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by moneypenny20
First Born got a snotty customer the other day, she actually came home and asked if 'that bloke Grayling' had moved here. She did her 'Hi there' and smile bit and the guy started F'ing and Blinding like there was no tomorrow so she just looked at him and said 'that bad huh?' He then told her to mind her own F'ing business and went and complained to the Supervisor who, not knowing what First Born had replied with, said 'you've had a bad day then Sir? Apparently the guy slammed his shopping down on the counter and stormed out. Unfortunately he'd already paid so he screwed up slightly.
Some people eh? Customer service, an area I have absolutely no desire to get into ... a thankless job with sod-all pay.

Tesco shop-floor was enough for me, part-time before I found the nirvana of faffing around with computers ... I had to get out of such a lowly position or I would never be accepted into WeebieWorld.
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 5:47 am
  #26  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

How dare people be friendly.
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 6:22 am
  #27  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by DeadVim
YKYIAW.....

a) The little plane on the in-flight display crosses the coast.

b) The entire weekend's activity is planned around a Bunnings sausage sizzle.
I remember how excited I was the first time I came here and saw the little plane first flying over land - couldn't believe I was in Oz!!
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 6:42 am
  #28  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

Originally Posted by sammax
I remember how excited I was the first time I came here and saw the little plane first flying over land - couldn't believe I was in Oz!!
And five hours later that little plane was still flying over land.....
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 8:24 am
  #29  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

You land in Darwin at 2:00am and a chap in white shirt, white shorts and long socks walks through the plane (BOAC 707) spraying an aerosol over all of us (in 1965).
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Old Apr 16th 2011, 8:46 am
  #30  
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Default Re: You know you are in Australia when...

When you're getting fined $50 for a boiled sweet than snuck into your backpack several years ago.

Last edited by Turban Explorer; Apr 16th 2011 at 8:53 am.
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