You know you are in Australia when...
Apr 16th 2011, 2:00 am
#16
Not allowed opinions.
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 4,565
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
You got to watch the fight in your local, and when you come back from the gents some bloody cute girl is sitting in your seat....
Apr 16th 2011, 2:07 am
#17
Banned
Thread Starter
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
I remember when I was in the Mess in Poona. Must have been around 02 (1902 of course).
We used to thrash our houseboys and grooms to within an inch of their lives if they even looked at us. “Damn you boy, keep those eyes down” we would shout as we spilled our G&T on them. I remember “Bungalow” Branson killing a couple when he had drunk a little too much whiskey.
Now to hear that Australian girls have the temerity to actually speak to customers! Unbelievable.
I assume they at least did it with averted eyes? Did you consider horsewhipping?
Who do these colonial girls think they are?
We used to thrash our houseboys and grooms to within an inch of their lives if they even looked at us. “Damn you boy, keep those eyes down” we would shout as we spilled our G&T on them. I remember “Bungalow” Branson killing a couple when he had drunk a little too much whiskey.
Now to hear that Australian girls have the temerity to actually speak to customers! Unbelievable.
I assume they at least did it with averted eyes? Did you consider horsewhipping?
Who do these colonial girls think they are?
"Bloody colonials!" did come to mind 
Apr 16th 2011, 2:17 am
#18
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
But surely not! TWO girls in Oz who like to watch a fight??? Its too much of a coincidence to ignore....
Apr 16th 2011, 2:39 am
#19
Not allowed opinions.
Joined: Dec 2009
Location: Sydney
Posts: 4,565
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
Hmmmm... Cute girl... I dont believe we have met... But I dont believe ANYONE who has met me, no matter how strong the prescription of the beer goggles they are wearing would ever use the word cute and girl to describe me... Must have been some other bird...
But surely not! TWO girls in Oz who like to watch a fight??? Its too much of a coincidence to ignore....
But surely not! TWO girls in Oz who like to watch a fight??? Its too much of a coincidence to ignore....
Even my ex wife would look good....
Apr 16th 2011, 4:04 am
#20
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 404
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
You have bar-like conversations with Woolies checkout girls. Today, I collected my son from college and we popped into Woollies for a few things on the way home. The chirpy smiling checkout girl says to us "Happy Poets Day", Yeah okay I thought and smiled politely back at her. Next she says "Do you know what poets day is all about?" "...Uh no" I replied. So she shouts at the top of her voice "P**s Off Early - Tomorrow Saturday!!!" and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably like an Aussie Barbara Windsor. :dropjaw::bemusedlook: x 2
Apr 16th 2011, 4:17 am
#21
Mostly Harmless
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Semi-rural wonderworld, Brisbane
Posts: 15,109
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
YKYIAW.....
a) The little plane on the in-flight display crosses the coast.
b) The entire weekend's activity is planned around a Bunnings sausage sizzle.
a) The little plane on the in-flight display crosses the coast.
b) The entire weekend's activity is planned around a Bunnings sausage sizzle.
Apr 16th 2011, 4:24 am
#22
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Canberra
Posts: 8,378
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
You have bar-like conversations with Woolies checkout girls. Today, I collected my son from college and we popped into Woollies for a few things on the way home. The chirpy smiling checkout girl says to us "Happy Poets Day", Yeah okay I thought and smiled politely back at her. Next she says "Do you know what poets day is all about?" "...Uh no" I replied. So she shouts at the top of her voice "P**s Off Early - Tomorrow Saturday!!!" and then proceeded to laugh uncontrollably like an Aussie Barbara Windsor. :dropjaw::bemusedlook: x 2
And you didnt know what Poets Day was???? Oh dear, your education is sadly lacking!
Apr 16th 2011, 4:36 am
#23
Mostly Harmless
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Semi-rural wonderworld, Brisbane
Posts: 15,109
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
I like the assistants at our 'local' Woolies ... I managed to unsuccessfully juggle a bottle of pasta sauce the other day, juggled it all the way into many tiny sticky pieces on the floor of the aisle ... they couldn't have been nicer about clearing the results of my cack-handedness
I didn't even get the expected 'You should play for England' jibe ... these colonials are losing their edge ...
Apr 16th 2011, 5:00 am
#24
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
I didn't know that either
I like the assistants at our 'local' Woolies ... I managed to unsuccessfully juggle a bottle of pasta sauce the other day, juggled it all the way into many tiny sticky pieces on the floor of the aisle ... they couldn't have been nicer about clearing the results of my cack-handedness
I didn't even get the expected 'You should play for England' jibe ... these colonials are losing their edge ...
I like the assistants at our 'local' Woolies ... I managed to unsuccessfully juggle a bottle of pasta sauce the other day, juggled it all the way into many tiny sticky pieces on the floor of the aisle ... they couldn't have been nicer about clearing the results of my cack-handedness
I didn't even get the expected 'You should play for England' jibe ... these colonials are losing their edge ...
He then told her to mind her own F'ing business and went and complained to the Supervisor who, not knowing what First Born had replied with, said 'you've had a bad day then Sir? Apparently the guy slammed his shopping down on the counter and stormed out. Unfortunately he'd already paid so he screwed up slightly.
Apr 16th 2011, 5:41 am
#25
Mostly Harmless
Joined: Jan 2010
Location: Semi-rural wonderworld, Brisbane
Posts: 15,109
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
First Born got a snotty customer the other day, she actually came home and asked if 'that bloke Grayling' had moved here. She did her 'Hi there' and smile bit and the guy started F'ing and Blinding like there was no tomorrow so she just looked at him and said 'that bad huh?' He then told her to mind her own F'ing business and went and complained to the Supervisor who, not knowing what First Born had replied with, said 'you've had a bad day then Sir? Apparently the guy slammed his shopping down on the counter and stormed out. Unfortunately he'd already paid so he screwed up slightly.
He then told her to mind her own F'ing business and went and complained to the Supervisor who, not knowing what First Born had replied with, said 'you've had a bad day then Sir? Apparently the guy slammed his shopping down on the counter and stormed out. Unfortunately he'd already paid so he screwed up slightly. Tesco shop-floor was enough for me, part-time before I found the nirvana of faffing around with computers ... I had to get out of such a lowly position or I would never be accepted into WeebieWorld.
Apr 16th 2011, 5:47 am
#26
Auntie Fa
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle
Posts: 7,344
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
How dare people be friendly. 
Apr 16th 2011, 6:22 am
#27
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 404
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
Apr 16th 2011, 8:24 am
#29
Just Joined
Joined: Apr 2011
Location: Sydney, Australia
Posts: 4
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
You land in Darwin at 2:00am and a chap in white shirt, white shorts and long socks walks through the plane (BOAC 707) spraying an aerosol over all of us (in 1965).
Apr 16th 2011, 8:46 am
#30
Possum. Amiculum. Latrina
Joined: Jan 2011
Location: Footloose
Posts: 3,427
Re: You know you are in Australia when...
When you're getting fined $50 for a boiled sweet than snuck into your backpack several years ago.
Last edited by Turban Explorer; Apr 16th 2011 at 8:53 am.