haggis supper

Interesting debate on the radio this morning. DJ's friend is having a deadlock fitted to the door of her 2 year olds bedroom. Its the tantrum phase and the time out process has not worked. Mother is sick of putting the kid into the bedroom only for him to just open the door. She's got to the stage of holding the door handle shut to prevent him from getting out.

She's also pregnant and emotionally drained from the battles. As such she's decided to have a lock fitted. The locksmith she spoke with was not happy doing this, hence the discussion.

Great debate on the radio, lots of very unhappy & outspoken people.

Personally I don't agree with it. Any thoughts...?

scottishcelts

Definately not

Too many damaging psychological issues there.

Shame on them.

Bernieboy

Yer wains did alright in the coal shed

Sally Simpson

I don't think I agree with it either but I can completely understand where she is coming from.

There are probably a lot of issues around separation anxiety, which may well be why he is opening the bedroom door in the first place. Putting a lock on the door is only going to exacerbate that anxiety.

haggis supper

You had a coal shed ? Lucky b's. We took our beatings in the front room.

Bernieboy

At least it would have been warm in the front room,unless we wee buggers were holding the door closed from the inside and the fire had died

scottishcelts

- no that was me

Burbage

Coal shed is useful. One night in coal shed and bedroom doesn't look so bad.

Bernieboy

Minor,coal,what ya trying to say Burby

scottishcelts

True, but I remember some people had hatches in their houses (in the floor) leading to cellar rooms - kids were often thrown down there as punishment

Bernieboy

Huns

moneypenny20

He should do what Soapy or someone's dad did, put the handle on upside down so the child tries to pull the handle down but it won't open. You can't lock a child in, that's just scary. The time out works but you have to have the patience of a saint for about a week for it to take effect.

Burbage

My border collie was cured of separation anxiety by one night in the cat's travelling box, under piles of cardboard so I couldn't hear her. After that the laundry room was like the Ritz.

Border collies are smart. But they aren't as smart as 2-year-old humans.

I would put the child in a soundproof box of some kind. It'll learn very, very quickly. Any hint of mercy and the child will exploit it.

My brother didn't do this with his kids, and they still throw tantrums. One of them threw one at me once when i baby sat them.None of them has tried it since.

petensue

I feel sorry for the Mum but also worry how she will cope once the baby is born is she is so emotionally drained now that she is having a deadlock fitted to the door.The only thing you can do is hold the handle shut and not talk until the time out is completed.

I agree with moneypenny who said you need the patience of a saint,my just turned 6 year old has just started to talk back to meSue.

Fly Away

You don't need to lock them in a room. Totally ignoring a tantrum is far more effective. The current strategy of locking the child into a room isn't working because the child knows it has 100% of the mother's attention while s/he is in there because they are holding the door shut.

When mine was little I would just hum a tune and get on with what I was doing if she had a tantrum. Then when she stopped I would say something completely unrelated to the tantrum and never mention it again. She realised that I only responded to 'good' behaviour and had no tantrums after a couple of weeks of trying it on.