spouse of scouse

Don't read this if you work for Centrelink, because if you try to defend them I'll have to kill you

I haven't had to deal with them for decades. But as Scouse and I are temporarily without an income, we bit the bullet and applied for a low-income health care card. My RA drugs alone are around $150 a month.

We applied through our local office 6 weeks ago. Scouse and I filled out a joint form, provided notorised copies of our passports for ID, provided bank statements etc etc, and got the whole lot approved and stamped by a - ahem - customer service officer (CSO). And that's where the fun started.

I was divorced 7 years ago, and reverted to using my maiden name (anyone who's ever done that will know the palaver involved - new passport, bankcard, credit card, driver's license etc etc). Scouse and I were married fairly recently, but I've kept my maiden surname (who can be arsed going through all that again).

Of course, I filled in all the necessary details on the flipping Centrelink form, in my maiden name, with my current address, including that I'd been married before, what my married name was then, the date Scouse and I were married, the lot.

When the CSO was loading all the info on her computer, she did some sort of check and said that I already had a Centrelink customer reference number, from when I was previously married. I told her that it's fine if they have to use that number, but under no circumstances was any correspondence to be sent to my former address - not only because I haven't lived there for 8 years and that is not my surname anymore, but also because my ex-husband is very violent and I've made sure he has no idea where I live.

'No problem', said CSO, 'I'll delete that old address right now'.

6 weeks have passed, no health care cards. Rang Centrelink - on hold for 90 minutes then cut off. Rang again, on hold for 30 minutes, finally got to talk to someone.

Reason no health care cards had arrived was because they'd decided that they needed to sight Scouse and my's marriage certificate. No mention of that on the forms by the way. No worries, sez I, but why haven't you told me this before now?
"We have, we sent you a letter 2 weeks ago"
"I haven't received any letters from you"
"Yes you have"
"No I haven't"

I was right. I hadn't received the letter. BECAUSE THEY'D SENT IT TO MY OLD ADDRESS IN MY PREVIOUS MARRIED SURNAME. Despite the CSO 'deleting' the old address. Despite me telling her that my ex is violent and I don't want him knowing anything about me. Despite my passport in my maiden name provided as ID, the forms filled in and signed in my maiden name, with my current, correct address.

I can understand why people go troppo dealing with this mob, I really can. I hate the bastards. When the red mist clears I'll sort out who to kill. I mean, I'll sort out a written complaint.

Please feel free to similarly spill your guts about incompetent government departments

campervanfan

No, that has to be unbeatable- shame you can't sue the b*stards... we should all come & help you mow their offices down........(truly feel your pain- I've been dealing with the UK CSA lately) how the hell they keep their jobs when they are so ineffective is beyond me....

BadgeIsBack

Must have been a battler CSO...sounds like she did not understand a word you said.

a complete ******.


Still, we've always had good service and massive (even) unrequested rebates. Leave it to the computers!!

GarryP

General problem is call centres, etc. are seen as a cost centre, and a big one. Fundamentally they are a pain in the neck and the attempt is always to cut the costs of call centres (hello india).

That means they tend to employ people who are, lets say, in the lower half of the IQ distribution.

They are taught rote filling of forms onscreen, and indeed the systems are set up to lead them through a straight, simple, process. That means they have basically zero understanding of what they are doing, and given they are not great jobs in the first place, zero interest in doing a good job, rather than hitting 'performance' metrics (eg calls per hour).

Chances are they probably did try and change the address associated with your file, but said record was probably locked out due to them trying to set up a claim against it at the same time - and they didn't check that things went through correctly.

One approach that good companies use, besides letting you do it yourself, is to send out confirmation emails with the details included, so you yourself can catch dumb stuff before it gets actioned. However, government systems are usually driven by two things:

1. Dumb laws, written by arts grads, piled up one on top of another, and then with judges messing things up even further. Thus they are full of so many edge conditions, things that only apply if something else applies and there is a U in the month, and red tape checks that the vast majority of the effort goes into trying to reflect the rules properly. Sensible companies know to keep it simple, to the extent of NOT doing things if it will make it more complex.
2. IT systems tend to run away on costs (always more complex than you thought), government contracts tend to be fixed price, and given to the lowest bidder. Therefore given a choice between eating into the profit margin that's already been booked, and not dealing with some of those edge conditions/nice to haves - the programmers tend to code to the test conditions - which are always simplistic.

The solution is to hire for a minimum brain level, and as always, is to keep it simple stupid - and clear away the kruft. Having IT people writing the laws in the first place would also be an idea - they are almost certain to be better at creating a logical,simple, structures than the politicians and lobbyists.

chris955

Worst Oz Government Department? I always found Main Roads (RTA) pretty hard to beat

Beoz

Personally I try to avoid reliance on the govt. Medicare being the exception. Even that can can hard work.

berserk

Australian Parliament

BadgeIsBack

I've found RTA and Medicare to be amazing. I can walk into a RTA (or equivalent) office and get a physical no plate in not much time...and a licence just like that...

One of the things that impressed me no end my first year here : (and helped me form a positive opinion of admin in this country) : I was able to get a Heavy Rigid truck license in WA once - in just over 3 days - the clock started ticking one morning when I decided I needed a license - that day I investigated it; I got a learner's permit the same day: - 2 or so hours in the WA RTA including computer tests, and admin; 3 days of driving, including a test on the 3rd day: I walked out with a license on Day 4. The most time consuming and annoying was reading what I had to do to get a license, making sure I understood it all, and walking from the RTA to the Truck school a few blocks away (it might have been up to 1k) in the heat.

I had to get a license through the post in the UK.

I literally got a HR license for under 200 pounds if memory served.
To this day I still have it - I converted it to a VIC one.

Beoz

Yep. No issue with RTA either. Just tried to read posters post again. Got confused pretty quickly. What is CSO? 'Violent Ex'. Yep. No wonder the script readers at Centrelknk (is that a govt dept?) got confused?

Still Game

In a word ... idiots.

Hope it is sorted for you very soon.

ozzieeagle

Easily the worst department in any genre, business, or country that I've come across, It's actually more of a surprise when they get something right first time, than anything else.

Phone them up with a left of centre issue and you will get a different story every time.

I actually feel sorry for the people that work there though, even I get a tude when it comes to centerlink and thats rare for me. So If I'm knarky with them, then I'd say the vast majority of people they come into contact with are as well.

spouse of scouse

'CSO' was written in full early on, as was 'violent ex' - it's pretty standard to abbreviate repeated terms. Neither term formed part of my written application for a low income health care card. I can't help with anything else that causes your confusion, but I'd hazard a guess that this is of no importance to either of us

Re your other comment, 'personally' I'd prefer to avoid reliance on government departments as well, and I'm sure that most people are the same. Since the onset of my medical condition there have been various income support payments that I am eligible to receive, but have chosen not to apply for them and instead am living on savings. If I didn't have those savings, I wouldn't have hesitated to apply. Life chucks all kinds of stuff at people and we don't always have a choice.

Thanks for your comments everyone, much karma has been distributed

old.sparkles

I hope you manage to get things sorted SoS - and stay safe

BadgeIsBack

The worst department I have come across is the little machines that sell you tickets for the trains - the whole process is too slow...

When it comes to getting money out of the govt we have found they cough up readily even if we have jeopardised our relationship by not getting back to them as we should. We've had income stopped, and a wagging finger - then reinstated as soon as we've got back to them. They have written to us and given us big cheques without being asked so I can't knock them at the moment.

spouse of scouse

Cheers Sparkles Thought about training our old golden retriever as an attack dog, but decided against it. Give him food and he's anyone's