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Why are some kids so cruel

Why are some kids so cruel

Old Feb 9th 2007, 2:36 pm
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Default Why are some kids so cruel

My lovely daughter is being singled out at school by some girls who she was friends with last year, they have all been over to ours in the past, had sleepovers and generally all got on, but not this year, they have decided to ignore her, today they wrote horrible messages in their school books about her and she got to see the messages, they then call away her other friend so she ends up alone.

One girl in the group seems to have the attitude that you must have a body piercing and boobs to be liked and as Hannah has neither she can't be popular.
She was hoping this girl was moving from School but that's not happening now

Iam sure it will all blow over, Hannah gets on with her work and is generally popular but this is starting to upset her.

How far do you let it go before you get mad and say something.

Di
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 2:39 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Originally Posted by harveyhare View Post
My lovely daughter is being singled out at school by some girls who she was friends with last year, they have all been over to ours in the past, had sleepovers and generally all got on, but not this year, they have decided to ignore her, today they wrote horrible messages in their school books about her and she got to see the messages, they then call away her other friend so she ends up alone.

One girl in the group seems to have the attitude that you must have a body piercing and boobs to be liked and as Hannah has neither she can't be popular.
She was hoping this girl was moving from School but that's not happening now

Iam sure it will all blow over, Hannah gets on with her work and is generally popular but this is starting to upset her.

How far do you let it go before you get mad and say something.

Di
I have all this to come with my girls being only 9 and 4. I would want to go over and smash their faces in which obviously isn't either mature nor practical. I don't know what to say but I send my best wishes that you get it sorted out soon.
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 2:51 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Originally Posted by northernbird View Post
I have all this to come with my girls being only 9 and 4. I would want to go over and smash their faces in which obviously isn't either mature nor practical. I don't know what to say but I send my best wishes that you get it sorted out soon.
Yeah the OH is worried thats what i will do
They are 14 so you would think the childlike name calling got left in the primary school.
Hannah will be 14 on Valentines day and i think she will find it really hard to be left out.

Di
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 3:29 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Originally Posted by harveyhare View Post
Yeah the OH is worried thats what i will do
They are 14 so you would think the childlike name calling got left in the primary school.
Hannah will be 14 on Valentines day and i think she will find it really hard to be left out.

Di
Jeez this is a horrible situation...

Dont know what to say really,only that I as a parent would like to confront these so called friends but prob best not to,in case it causes more probs to your daughter...Good luck and I hope your duaghter finds some real friend soon.xx

Out of interest,what school is she in?
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 3:33 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Hi
i sometimes think girls are sooo more evil to each other than boys. I hope she finds some new friends soon x
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 3:59 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

I completly sympathise with you, i had all of this last year with my 8 year old son, at the time he was in year 3 at junior school , it got to the stage where he told his teacher that he wished he was dead.Thankfully it was close to the summer hols.
As soon as i found out about the bullying which had gone on for 3 months with out him saying anything to me. i went straight to the school and spoke to the teacher.
I would get the school involved as soon as possible and get it nipped in the bud before it gets out of hand.
Mandy
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 4:28 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

what an upsetting thread,i have a daughter and i know the ups and downs of certain friendships that she has.
sometimes it gets me so angry but i cannot fight all her battles.i would step in though if it was becoming obvious she was unhappy..

if these girl have stopped over at your house you must know the parents,is it not worth having a quite word with the parents.
if someone came up to me and told me my daughter was making someone unhappy my daughter would be soon sorted out.

hope you get things sorted.

aston..

Last edited by aston man; Feb 9th 2007 at 4:38 pm.
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 4:34 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Originally Posted by aston man View Post
what an upsetting thread,i have a daughter and i know the ups and downs of certain friendships that she has.
sometimes it gets me so angry but i cannot fight all her battles.i would step in though if it was becoming obvious she was unhappy..

if these girl have stopped over at your house you must know the parents,is it not worth having a quite word with the parents.
i someone came up to me and told me my daughter was making someone unhappy my daughter would be soon sorted out.

hope you get things sorted.

aston..
Hey Ast you amaze me, thats a realy good suggestion. I know if I was the parent of one of these girls I would rather be told by the mum rather than have the school involved. Im sure she would have a few words to say to her daughter about her behaviour.
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 4:48 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

thanks sam,i know what its like to be different ,i was one ot the only kids at school not to smoke,i would not be press ganged into it,and it was not easy to be called marcus on a rough council estate but looking back i am glad i stuck to my guns.its easy to be the same and a little harder to be different ,in this case this girl just wants to be normal and not have bloody peircings ,what a bloody shame but i am sure she will pull through, as it would of obviously been easier for her to give in and be like the rest..

i hope it all turns out for the best

aston
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 4:57 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

same happened to my daughter last year in P7. her friends had been to my house for bbq on a saturday evening and on the sunday every one of them stopped speaking to her . it carried on into school and after a few days of being ignored she got to the point of not wanting to go, i phoned her teacher and had a few words with him. he said he's sort it out but it never came to anything. She's now in year 8 at a new school, most of these horrible girls are at the school too but thankfully not in her class. altho they now speak to her, she has made some lovely new friends, girls from different primary schools. unfortunately we are going to pluck her from this when we get our visas which shw isnt happy about but i believe kids are adaptable and she will cope.

kids can be so nasty at times, hope you get it sorted for your daugter.

lynn
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 6:31 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Im sorry your daughter is having a rough time. I think Astons suggestion of a quiet word is a good idea. You'll probably find they will be best mates again by next week.

Its not the same but my son keeps on getting bitten at nursery by another lad who he plays with all the time. They are only 2 1/2. He doesnt do it to any of the other kids, just likes to have a nibble on Ethans arm/face now and again. It does make you mad though.

Hope it all works out soon and she enjoys her birthday.

Joex
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 7:30 pm
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Lightbulb Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Originally Posted by harveyhare View Post
My lovely daughter is being singled out at school by some girls who she was friends with last year, they have all been over to ours in the past, had sleepovers and generally all got on, but not this year, they have decided to ignore her, today they wrote horrible messages in their school books about her and she got to see the messages, they then call away her other friend so she ends up alone.

One girl in the group seems to have the attitude that you must have a body piercing and boobs to be liked and as Hannah has neither she can't be popular.
She was hoping this girl was moving from School but that's not happening now

Iam sure it will all blow over, Hannah gets on with her work and is generally popular but this is starting to upset her.

How far do you let it go before you get mad and say something.

Di
You say something immediately. You say something as soon as your child begins to feel uncomfortable about the idea of going to school each day.

I was a victim of some savage bullying when I was a kid, so I speak from experience. My parents tried speaking to the bully's parents, but they simply denied everything. It could be worth a try in your case; just don't expect an immediate (or positive) result.

IMHO you should talk with the relevant members of staff at your earliest opportunity.

I am sorry to hear of your daughter's trouble, and hope things are worked out asap.

Last edited by Vash the Stampede; Feb 9th 2007 at 7:32 pm.
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 7:38 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

Originally Posted by harveyhare View Post
My lovely daughter is being singled out at school by some girls who she was friends with last year, they have all been over to ours in the past, had sleepovers and generally all got on, but not this year, they have decided to ignore her, today they wrote horrible messages in their school books about her and she got to see the messages, they then call away her other friend so she ends up alone.

One girl in the group seems to have the attitude that you must have a body piercing and boobs to be liked and as Hannah has neither she can't be popular.
She was hoping this girl was moving from School but that's not happening now

Iam sure it will all blow over, Hannah gets on with her work and is generally popular but this is starting to upset her.

How far do you let it go before you get mad and say something.

Di
Cor Di, what a dilemma........

Kids are so small minded and cruel. In years to come your daughter will look back and see how much better she was and IS than them!

I genuinely hope she is able to see this situation for what it is and move on. Genuine people are attracted to genuine people......
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Old Feb 9th 2007, 7:38 pm
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

We are in U.K and my daughter moved up to secondary school with a few others from her primary school which I was pleased about as she had slept over at theirs and vice versa.
About 4 months later one girl from the primary school began being nasty to her saying "What are you *****ing looking at?" and shouting to her from the other side of the playground.
She was so upset and I asked her what she wanted me to do and gave her the option of letting her sort it or I could contact school. She wanted me to contact school who were brilliant. They fully supported us and it stopped within weeks. She could cope with the dirty looks.
This was in year 7. My daughter is now in year 9 and this girl is quite embarrassed by her actions, and my daughter now speaks to her but just to be polite.
I really hope that you can sort this out.
Keep us updated as I know what you are going through.
Ast - excellent advice. K sent to OP and you.
J x
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Old Feb 10th 2007, 3:21 am
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Default Re: Why are some kids so cruel

At the moment Hannah is riding above it and says how childish they are, She has gone shopping today with one friend yet i know if the others had been available then this friend would be with them.
It probably pi**es me off more at the moment.
Will see how things go over the next week then i will tackle the parents.

Ive told Hannah they are probably jealous as Hannah has a job and is quite smart, In a way they will do us a favour as i dont want her mixing with them when they have such a narrow outlook on life.

They have already decided not to get her anything for her B'day despite Hannah going to all the parties last year and getting them nice presents with her own money.
She goes to Kinross.

Di
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