What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Dec 1st 2013, 5:20 am
#31
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Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
The resultant insecurity and alienation that such circumstances produce might also explain why BE seems to have cores of people who treat it as their main new friendship resource, and shun, seek to undermine, and throw names at those who don't conform with their established opinions and pecking orders. 
Dec 1st 2013, 5:33 am
#32
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Location: Hill overlooking the SE Melbourne suburbs
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Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
I also agree with NB and Polly that you have to get out and meet people.
+1 Well the first half anyway (which I quoted) - I don't see much value in creating enclaves especially if it's unhappy people. I am sure there are thousands of people who spend their entire lives living in an enclave of some sort.
Of course it's one thing assimilating to Australian life, doesn't mean you can't talk to anyone else.
I agree to an extent but some don't know what true giving/receiving friendships are. Some are too dependent on BE for friendships meaning that they risk having too many expatriates (who are often here today gone tomorrow) as their friends but never quite assimilate with the Australian life and people - which presumably coming here was what it was all supposed to be about.
Of course it's one thing assimilating to Australian life, doesn't mean you can't talk to anyone else.
Dec 1st 2013, 5:52 am
#33
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Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Re: the invitation comment. I just found it mentally exhausting, truly I did!! I should've took it a bit easier and slowly. It's something I have learned about myself, (Not talking just about b.e invites) As others said I got my fingers burned ( but won't go into details). As I have said before, I didn't find the BE meets helped me make friends , I was often much older than the others , so I stopped going years ago.
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
Last edited by Margaret3; Dec 1st 2013 at 6:03 am.
Dec 1st 2013, 6:04 am
#34
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Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Somewhere South... Not Telling YOU
Posts: 10,959
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Re: the invitation comment. I just found it mentally exhausting, truly I did!! I should've took it a bit easier and slowly. It's something I have learned about myself, (Not talking just about b.e invites) As others said I got my fingers burned ( but won't go into details). As I have said before, I didn't find the BE meets helped me make friends , I was often much older than the others , so I stopped going years ago.
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
Dec 1st 2013, 6:04 am
#35
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Joined: Sep 2009
Location: Adelaide
Posts: 29,862
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Re: the invitation comment. I just found it mentally exhausting, truly I did!! I should've took it a bit easier and slowly. It's something I have learned about myself, (Not talking just about b.e invites) As others said I got my fingers burned ( but won't go into details). As I have said before, I didn't find the BE meets helped me make friends , I was often much older than the others , so I stopped going years ago.
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
Dec 1st 2013, 6:07 am
#36
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Joined: Dec 2002
Location: Keep true friends and puppets close, trust no-one else...
Posts: 93,810
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Re: the invitation comment. I just found it mentally exhausting, truly I did!! I should've took it a bit easier and slowly. It's something I have learned about myself, (Not talking just about b.e invites) As others said I got my fingers burned ( but won't go into details). As I have said before, I didn't find the BE meets helped me make friends , I was often much older than the others , so I stopped going years ago.
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
One day I will get back down to Melbourne......dare i suggest a meetup?
Dec 1st 2013, 6:15 am
#37
Banned
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
I fell back on BE friendships for the first few months having no outside ways of linking up with people. Once I started to make friends in a good job I just accepted the offers of friendship there as eagerly as I did those from the forum. And had the same issues. I met some horrendously catty and vindictive people from non-forum sources, who to this day give me nightmares, but again thats life. I also met some beautiful life-long mates. Its like moving to a new town in the same coutry, take whats offered and be prepared to refine your choices later.
Dec 1st 2013, 6:30 am
#38
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 22,348
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Re: the invitation comment. I just found it mentally exhausting, truly I did!! I should've took it a bit easier and slowly. It's something I have learned about myself, (Not talking just about b.e invites) As others said I got my fingers burned ( but won't go into details). As I have said before, I didn't find the BE meets helped me make friends , I was often much older than the others , so I stopped going years ago.
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
I have lovely friends here but it has taken time.
God people on here must think I'm a right bitch, am not, I'll go for a beer with anybody !! Lol, but not too oftn, oh I just can explain it!!
The expat meets can be a bit overwhelming. I attended a poms in oz meetup 2+ years ago and found it mostly good. Still have a few friends to this day that I'm in contact with from that meet. Had a few individual/family meets and only one has clearly proven to be a true friend from start to now. The rest? Well it's hard to tell. To survive, a friendship has to be consistent and a two way one in my book.
I'll buy the beers
Dec 1st 2013, 9:03 am
#40
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Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
It's a lovin thread now
Dec 1st 2013, 9:41 am
#41
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Posts: 22,348
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Dunno, try to look on the bright side: at least you're part of a group
True, a good mix of both is best. Helps us to embrace the future and not look back too much.
I also agree with NB and Polly that you have to get out and meet people.
+1 Well the first half anyway (which I quoted) - I don't see much value in creating enclaves especially if it's unhappy people. I am sure there are thousands of people who spend their entire lives living in an enclave of some sort.
Of course it's one thing assimilating to Australian life, doesn't mean you can't talk to anyone else.
+1 Well the first half anyway (which I quoted) - I don't see much value in creating enclaves especially if it's unhappy people. I am sure there are thousands of people who spend their entire lives living in an enclave of some sort.
Of course it's one thing assimilating to Australian life, doesn't mean you can't talk to anyone else.
Dec 1st 2013, 10:30 am
#42
Still alive
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 28,994
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
But like you said: At least I'm part of a group.
Dec 1st 2013, 10:56 am
#43
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Dec 1st 2013, 6:36 pm
#44
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Posts: 22,348
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Yep, I'll give you that
Dec 2nd 2013, 1:49 am
#45
not sure...
Joined: May 2007
Location: out in the boonies
Posts: 1,537
Re: What's the worst advice you have taken away from B.E
Well I got some bad advice (not sure if it was from here or elsewhere) to avoid meeting up with expats coz it would hamper 'assimilation' with the locals. I stupidly took that advice but I've found it damn near impossible to make any lasting friendships with the locals, they're friendly but don't want to be friends. On the other hand I've had more advice, friendship and support from the lovely ladies I met on BE (and in person only once, earlier this year) than I have in 2.5 years from anyone else in Australia. So when i move to Singapore early in the NY the first thing I'm doing is seeking out the expats (granted, it won't be hard )
)