Cheetah7

I am scared of driving, I havent driven in 20 years since the day I passed my driving test, with the exception of starting some refresher lessons last year and I have had about 2 this year - probably no more than 8 in total perhaps (I had one horrible lesson in Freo nearly 2 years ago).

Since Mr PPs accident I have been left with a dreadful phobia of driving namely because I think a large percentage of people where I live/Perth drive like dicks, (dicks cant drive and neither can they).

I have seen so many near misses and Mr PP was nearly forced off the road two weeks ago by an old boy in a huge car, the cops pulled the guy up and got him out of the car and charged him. My best friend who was with me when Mr PP had his crash and supported me throughout it, was in a crash herself before Xmas.

Even when I was in someone elses car I was prone to road rage outbursts and being 'shit yer pants' terrified - I was/am so hypervigilant you wouldnt believe it.

Realising my world was getting 'smaller' and I was using avoidance tactics to not get in anyones car, I booked some refresher lessons with a very nice instructor who really turned things around for me (PM me for his details because he is brilliant with nervous drivers).

Two weeks ago I bought a car and on Saturday just gone I had a lesson with my instructor whom I will admit to having grown attached to, he makes me feel safe.

He told me on Saturday that I gave a 'flawless driving performance' and it was time we parted company as he felt we had gone as far as we could and I was ready to stand on my own two feet and he wouldnt be giving me any more lessons - I was so upset when he said that as I felt I still 'needed him' but fair play to him for not wanting to take my money.

Mr PP sat in the car with me this week and I drove into work and he would take it back, then bring the car back at 4pm and I would drive it home.

This morning Mr PP made me drive on my own which I did, after feeling sick with nerves and wishing my driving instructor was with me in the passenger seat to make me feel safe, I pulled out of my driveway with Mr PP who is still facing his own 'demons' from the accident, looking pale and worried as he waved me off, making me promise to call him as soon as I got in to work.

One of the guys at work was giving me lessons about parking as we have shit parking at work as in terms of space so that was good and he is going to help me for as long as I need to practise.

I have a long way to go but last year I never thought I would be in a car let alone driving one or even own one.

Before anyone flames me or calls me stupid for this, I shall explain that about a month after Mr PPs accident, I was diagnosed with severe PTSD scoring just 3 points off the highest markers (I am sure Grayling or someone in mental health will know what I mean by that).

It has taken a long time to get to where I am and I have done so without any medication and my psychologist had to assess me for my suitability to drive and I cant quite believe I am but bloody hell its been hard

Having PTSD makes you feel incredibly alone, having people say 'snap out of it' or 'pull yourself together' doesnt help and is always said by people who don't understand, and why would they? If they haven't had mental health problems then they wont understand. All I know is that I never thought I would suffer from a mental illness which incidentally, PTSD has 'triggers' and you have good days and bad days which makes life quite hard sometimes.

I would like to ask if any of you have phobias, how you have overcome them or dealt with them.

Please dont judge me on this, I would just like to read about others that have been through similar.

asprilla

Nice one pp, brave of you to say this. I am also very vigilant on the roads. About all you can do to stay safe is:
- minimise the amount of time you spend on the roads.
- drive within the speed limit. (allows you more time to make decisions).
- leave a good stopping distance up ahead.
- stay in the left lane, don't be one of those people that deliberately hold up tailgaters.
- watch the road up ahead, not just 20yds in front.
- stay a good distance from large vehicles, utes carrying furniture, lorries with rubbish spilling out the top, you know the kind of thing.





what am I afraid of? I am afraid of letting down my family in some way.... e.g. not keeping them safe and secure, not giving them a happy environment, not making my parents proud.

At the moment, I think I am doing ok at the above. I would like to do better.

Cheetah7

Thank you for replying - points taken on the driving

I feel bloody exhausted, like I could sleep but I shall make myself a coffee and look through the window at MY little car in the car park (The Minge Mobile) and tell myself its mine and I am in control of it.

Daydreamer123

Interesting post.

I also have a phobia in cars. I am a really bad passenger, I only really like my husband to drive me, and thats only because he knows what I can deal with and I feel able to tell him off if he does something wrong.

I was in a bad accident over 10 years ago and it seems to go in waves, sometimes I really struggle and other times I dont notice being in the car. I was getting much better, but was in a taxi a few months back and he drove into the side of a bus and it really got me worked up again. I hate it when somebody else has to drive me, especially taxi's as they have an attitude of 'I drive all the time so dont need to worry' which terrifies me. There are even people I will flat out refuse to be driven by. Whenever we visit my husbands family in Saffa, I make sure we hire a car, even though they would let us borrow one, just so that I dont get driven by his dad to and from the airport - now thats crazy

I am not so bad at driving myself, although I will always let my husband drive if we are going somewhere together. He does sometimes make me drive, but not that often. It was better when I drove to work everyday, but now I walk and think I havent actually driven our car in about a month. Highway driving is a problem for me.

I do know that its something I need to work on. Well done for stepping up and doing something about it

spartacus

I take it you're a 'natural' blonde PP?






. . . and a gentleman knows its rude to point!

emelems

Karma to you PP - sounds like you have had a horrendous struggle with this one..

I am scared of flying.. I am totally irrational about the whole thing.. I actually think that perhaps I should just go on the course at Brissie airport and try to work out why I think the plane's wing is going to fall off at 30,000 feet...

I hate being scared of anything.. bravery is very important to me.

I am also afraid of being afraid, if that makes sense. Ie, if something frightens the bejasus out of me and I have this inbuilt need to conquer it regardless of whether it is necessary to do it or not.. I think it is to do with my close family member who went thru her life panicking and scared of things that were outside her comfort zone. I have this weird but very real fear that I am going to end up just like her unless I push all my boundaries all the time. It gets very time consuming and I am not sure if it does me any good in the long run or not?

Em x

jad n rich

I get scared about my teens becoming the age where they might get into cars, with other kids driving at night, terrifies the hell out of me.

We saw one of the wrecks where 3 teens died, the tree it was wrapped around was outside a classmates house.

Ones just turned 16, driving now with us, however I wish they would raise the driving age, many of the comments out of his mates regarding cars, speed, booze are plain bloody scary.

asprilla

ha ha... yep, you are in control of it. You have to understand that only a very small minority of people are unlucky enough to have a serious car accident. Many people have little bumps, prangs, scrape their front wing against a concrete pilllar and then carry on grinding the metal against the concrete in panic when they see shoppers watching and laughing . i Lots don't have any accidents at all.

Another thing to remember, be extra vigilant if you need to drive between 10pm and 4am especially round weekends.

Gems

I have a phobia of the dentist!

Last time I went I found a good dentist in the UK who suggested sedation worked a treat. I need sedation just for a filling.

Think I got the phobia from shonky dentist when I was about 14. He would not wait until my mouth was numb and just kept giving me more injections. Then took out a tooth I didnt need removed and left lots of crap in my gum.

Jump a couple of years and I had horrific tooth,gum pain but no tooth !
Local dentist xrayed and sent me straight to the UK dental hospital.
The same day they had to cut open my gum and saw
Basically to get all the crap out he had left in. Im not kidding I was in hell during the procedure and for days after. Frightened the crap out of me.

Needless to say I start freaking just sitting in a dentist chair. But thought sedation was wonderful and Im now more hopeful.

Gems

Cheetah7

Actually you have reminded me to book my waxing appointment

emelems

My daughter has a fear of dentists... just one bad dentist did it to her, frightened the life out of her when she was about 7.. she is getting over it now thank god.

Em x

spartacus

Of course, I'd forgotten you preffered a



On a serious note, laughter and laughing at your fears can be very therapeutic. Brings them down to a human and manageable scale.

sel

From what you have been through recently with Abdel's accident, I think you have done amazingly well and you should be extremely proud of yourself !!

I see the results of bad driving, stupidity or just being in the wrong place at the wrong time accidents alot and they always affect me to a point, if I had nearly lost a loved one like you have then Im sure it would affect me in a similar way.

The roads can be a scary place but my fear of being dependant on others is a far greater one mainly due to living rural in a fire prone country and I know that may sound silly to some.

Keep on trucking mate and get your ass down here .... now there's a drive and half In fact what you doing the weekend of the 12th March ???

Cheetah7

I feel totally shattered from driving in and its only 4km, how sad is that? I am actually going to take some panadol as my bloody head is hurting.

Thank god I have the support of my colleagues - I need practise at parking so they are helping me drive around the yard etc.

I shall be OK for 4pm

Cheetah7

Im just calling Mr PP now to ask him. Can we bring Rocky?