What the hell do I do now
Jul 1st 2007, 10:28 pm
#20
Joined: Aug 2004
Posts: 18,754
Re: What the hell do I do now
I have been in australia for 3 years and have not spoken to my family since the day I left.
Basically I have been involved in a legal battle with my mother and step-father (which my brother and his wife are advising them on) over a house in the UK which I own but they live in.
Anyway, this Friday my new husband and I are going over to the UK to attend my sons graduation ceremony and spend a few days visiting with friends.
There was never any intention to go anywhere near my family, but on Friday I received news from my son that my step-father had passed away and that my mother wanted me to call her which I did.
As you can imagine it was a very emotional conversation and the upshot of it was that she would like to see me while I am over there, plus possible attend the funeral.
I have spent all weeekend like a zombie. I really dont know how I feel or what I should do. My husband and son have said that they will be there for me if i decide to attend but the thought of facing my brother and his wife is almost to much to think about after everything that they have done over the last couple of years.
I know I cannot expect anyone to make this decision for me but any advice would be gratefully received.
Thanks
Sharon
Basically I have been involved in a legal battle with my mother and step-father (which my brother and his wife are advising them on) over a house in the UK which I own but they live in.
Anyway, this Friday my new husband and I are going over to the UK to attend my sons graduation ceremony and spend a few days visiting with friends.
There was never any intention to go anywhere near my family, but on Friday I received news from my son that my step-father had passed away and that my mother wanted me to call her which I did.
As you can imagine it was a very emotional conversation and the upshot of it was that she would like to see me while I am over there, plus possible attend the funeral.
I have spent all weeekend like a zombie. I really dont know how I feel or what I should do. My husband and son have said that they will be there for me if i decide to attend but the thought of facing my brother and his wife is almost to much to think about after everything that they have done over the last couple of years.
I know I cannot expect anyone to make this decision for me but any advice would be gratefully received.
Thanks
Sharon
Sharon, the main reason you are visiting the UK is to celebrate you're son's achievement, , you have had some bad news and you're Mum wants you're support. If you're heart tells you to go, you will feel better for it, ignore you're brother and SIL, they will think they are clever and have the upper hand, they haven't you have!! You're Mum wanted contacted from you and wants you there, you showed you are the better person by contacting her after all the hurt and upset you have been through.
What goes around, comes around love and I am sure you're brother and SIL will find that out..
Enjoy you're son's graduation and keep you're chin up....
Jul 3rd 2007, 6:42 am
#22
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Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Norfolk - Brisbane Soon!
Posts: 10
Re: What the hell do I do now
Hi i was in a similar situation.
I went to the funeral i was made welcome by all except for my sister and her husband i even hugged my mum who i had not spoken to for some years (lots of bad blood between us) but as others have said hold your head up high you are there for yourself as much as anything.
My sister tried to get me to bite even coming between me and my brother and acting like i wasnt there. But you know what she looked the prat not me.
Now im in contact with my mother my uncle and my cousins in Australia.
My sister has tried to get in contact but hey I dont need her. I feel good that i went.
Hope this is of some help.
skeaty
Logged in under my daughters name opps
I went to the funeral i was made welcome by all except for my sister and her husband i even hugged my mum who i had not spoken to for some years (lots of bad blood between us) but as others have said hold your head up high you are there for yourself as much as anything.
My sister tried to get me to bite even coming between me and my brother and acting like i wasnt there. But you know what she looked the prat not me.
Now im in contact with my mother my uncle and my cousins in Australia.
My sister has tried to get in contact but hey I dont need her. I feel good that i went.
Hope this is of some help.
skeaty
Logged in under my daughters name opps
Last edited by Shauni; Jul 3rd 2007 at 6:44 am. Reason: under my daughters name
Jul 3rd 2007, 8:19 am
#23
Forum Regular
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Hervey Bay
Posts: 181
Re: What the hell do I do now
I have been in australia for 3 years and have not spoken to my family since the day I left.
Basically I have been involved in a legal battle with my mother and step-father (which my brother and his wife are advising them on) over a house in the UK which I own but they live in.
Anyway, this Friday my new husband and I are going over to the UK to attend my sons graduation ceremony and spend a few days visiting with friends.
There was never any intention to go anywhere near my family, but on Friday I received news from my son that my step-father had passed away and that my mother wanted me to call her which I did.
As you can imagine it was a very emotional conversation and the upshot of it was that she would like to see me while I am over there, plus possible attend the funeral.
I have spent all weeekend like a zombie. I really dont know how I feel or what I should do. My husband and son have said that they will be there for me if i decide to attend but the thought of facing my brother and his wife is almost to much to think about after everything that they have done over the last couple of years.
I know I cannot expect anyone to make this decision for me but any advice would be gratefully received.
Thanks
Sharon
Basically I have been involved in a legal battle with my mother and step-father (which my brother and his wife are advising them on) over a house in the UK which I own but they live in.
Anyway, this Friday my new husband and I are going over to the UK to attend my sons graduation ceremony and spend a few days visiting with friends.
There was never any intention to go anywhere near my family, but on Friday I received news from my son that my step-father had passed away and that my mother wanted me to call her which I did.
As you can imagine it was a very emotional conversation and the upshot of it was that she would like to see me while I am over there, plus possible attend the funeral.
I have spent all weeekend like a zombie. I really dont know how I feel or what I should do. My husband and son have said that they will be there for me if i decide to attend but the thought of facing my brother and his wife is almost to much to think about after everything that they have done over the last couple of years.
I know I cannot expect anyone to make this decision for me but any advice would be gratefully received.
Thanks
Sharon
I agree with stuckinblighty - go with what your heart tells you. There's a lot to be said for the gut feeling, you just have to learn how to read it.
Best of luck and contratulations on your son's graduation.
Jul 3rd 2007, 3:26 pm
#24
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Joined: Oct 2003
Location: Gold Coast Hinterland
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Re: What the hell do I do now
Thank you all so much for your replies. I have decided that I will be attending. I have every right to pay me respects, I will have my husband and my son by my side and my brother and his wife can just like it or lump it.
My mood is better today as I have just found out that hubby and I have been upgraded to business class
Also I am so excited about my sons graduation. He has worked really hard (or at least he says he has) and I am so proud of him and all he has achieved.
He is now Anthony Pasquill ABRSM B.Mus
Sharon (feeling a lot more positive)
My mood is better today as I have just found out that hubby and I have been upgraded to business class
Also I am so excited about my sons graduation. He has worked really hard (or at least he says he has) and I am so proud of him and all he has achieved.
He is now Anthony Pasquill ABRSM B.Mus
Sharon (feeling a lot more positive)
Last edited by BandS; Jul 3rd 2007 at 3:29 pm.
Jul 3rd 2007, 3:37 pm
#25
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Re: What the hell do I do now
Thank you all so much for your replies. I have decided that I will be attending. I have every right to pay me respects, I will have my husband and my son by my side and my brother and his wife can just like it or lump it.
My mood is better today as I have just found out that hubby and I have been upgraded to business class
Also I am so excited about my sons graduation. He has worked really hard (or at least he says he has) and I am so proud of him and all he has achieved.
He is now Anthony Pasquill ABRSM B.Mus
Sharon (feeling a lot more positive)
My mood is better today as I have just found out that hubby and I have been upgraded to business class
Also I am so excited about my sons graduation. He has worked really hard (or at least he says he has) and I am so proud of him and all he has achieved.
He is now Anthony Pasquill ABRSM B.Mus
Sharon (feeling a lot more positive)
Jul 3rd 2007, 3:45 pm
#26
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Re: What the hell do I do now
Good on ya girl.............you have every right to be there. Have a fab time at your sons graduation(we sat up till 2.30am at the weekend watching my SIL's graduation on the internet and she had the biggest smile on her gob, was awesome to be able to watch from so far away), and enjoy your flight you lucky buggers
Jul 4th 2007, 12:27 am
#27
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Joined: Feb 2007
Location: Waterford, Qld
Posts: 1,920
Re: What the hell do I do now
Just wanted to say good luck really....
You may find that your mum will warn your brother/SIL to behave before you get there.
Hope it all works out and you enjoy the rest of your trip
You may find that your mum will warn your brother/SIL to behave before you get there.
Hope it all works out and you enjoy the rest of your trip
Jul 4th 2007, 12:35 am
#28
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Location: yangebup perth au
Posts: 2,505
Re: What the hell do I do now
go with your heart...
but idisagree with families not kicking off at the funerals
i know one familythat did fight at a funeral
5 members of one family ended up in court accused of beating up another member of the family:curse:
3 of the accused were sisters and the accuser was the older sister and it was their fathers funeral
they were found not guilty
but idisagree with families not kicking off at the funerals
i know one familythat did fight at a funeral
5 members of one family ended up in court accused of beating up another member of the family:curse:
3 of the accused were sisters and the accuser was the older sister and it was their fathers funeral
they were found not guilty
Jul 4th 2007, 1:17 am
#29
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,474
Re: What the hell do I do now
good choice to go and hold your head up high and ignore the brother and SIL.
I have the same thing with my sister - no desire ever to speak to her again but with parents and other family in the middle I have said I am mature enough to be at any family events where she will and just not talk to her. Whether she can be as mature is doubtful! sounds like your SIL!.
nice touch this week - its my sons birthday on Friday, she didnt even send a card or present - talk about punishing the kids! she has a daughter and I wouldnt dream of not sending anything to her on her birthday or christmas,
just shows - as long as you remain the mature one and your SIL continues to behave like a child, all the family and friends will see and know the truth - just as has happened with me.
enjoy your trip, dont even bother thinking about SIL and bro - I find total ignorance and not wasting my time even thinking about them is happiness
I have the same thing with my sister - no desire ever to speak to her again but with parents and other family in the middle I have said I am mature enough to be at any family events where she will and just not talk to her. Whether she can be as mature is doubtful! sounds like your SIL!.
nice touch this week - its my sons birthday on Friday, she didnt even send a card or present - talk about punishing the kids! she has a daughter and I wouldnt dream of not sending anything to her on her birthday or christmas,
just shows - as long as you remain the mature one and your SIL continues to behave like a child, all the family and friends will see and know the truth - just as has happened with me.
enjoy your trip, dont even bother thinking about SIL and bro - I find total ignorance and not wasting my time even thinking about them is happiness
Jul 5th 2007, 10:23 am
#30
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Re: What the hell do I do now
Well off to the airport this afternoon. Not sure how things will pan out over in the UK but I will tell you all about it when I get back.
Sharon xx
Sharon xx
