jad n rich

For over a month we've had UK bods here, first a family then newly divorced brother. Been a bit shocked at some of their reactions, not what we expected or are used to from visitors, bit unsettling really.

It started out with the family, the usual thing first week, glorious weather showing oz at its best, a whirl of seaworld, dreamworld, australia zoo, meals out in restaurants, we delivered the required 'we've arrived in paradise experience". Keeping in mind the families going through about $400 a day on entertainment and meals out its obviously not day to day life, however its the experience that most guests want. By end of week they are quite seriously talking of emigrating here. We suggest some more day to day activities

Week 2, they mention the news, a string of abused children stories, axe murders of kids, media outrage at paedophile let off without being charged, corruption story, continual doom and gloom on the economy and they comment several times that really its far from what they expected in australia a more chirpy new perhaps, gawd knows really, why it would be different but they seem shocked at the violence here.

The first weeks method of instantly halving the cost of everything they buy thankfully comes to an abrupt halt as we take them grocery shopping and accept their offer of a contribution of a weeks groceries. Amazement as we trudge over 4 stores/areas to purchase meat, veg, supplies, wine at some sort of reasonable price, even in the discount liquor barn they are saying many aussie wines are cheaper in the UK a point which over the next weeks comes up many times, with many items, books, clothes, travel price of it all shocks. A couple of major traffic hotspots including the gateway bridge!! and airport run, crush some more unexpected perceptions.

One day after packing them off to cairns my fave brother arrives, newly divorced, with a change of career under his belt, teaching, just qualified and with months of teaching experience completed, we pounce on him, for info on our boys 'education' and bombard him with questions on UK youth,
hes teaching kids our boys age, 11 and 14 and looks constantly perplexed as to why we expect him to be up there with bullet proof vest, capsicum spray and other ideas probably picked up from BE.

WIthin 3 days of his stay again the news comes up, genuine shock, plus a fair selection of bizzare 'disfunctional family' news while hes been in sydney and melb has sadly given a rather 'backward ' edge to his vision of aus.

Hes loved sydney, really loved it, but to be honest he stayed in the tiny area that is inner sydney, a few klms at best, says he could live there, pics of sydney have glorious weather, he didnt like melbourne, but he stayed with friends there in a non fancy suburb unlike the stay in sydney, dont think he was comparing apples with apples so to speak. Plus weather wasnt at its best. He too is off to carins on wednesday, being winter we found him some good deals, but hes alarmed at the distances, at one stage was going to drive sydney to cairns the weekend before he came here he was in amsterdam for 120 GBP, the distance/travel thing clicked into place immediately, he says he would find it hard to say the least, travel for him even when married was several times a year.

Hes finding it expensive and were amused at his supply of primark goods, underwear and socks and tshirts, 5 for 2/3 GBP , hes throwing them away instead of washing them LOL, not very green but cant believe the prices so he shows us the tags yep 2 quid for a multi pack!!!!

Were getting a very different reaction from visitors now from our early years here, expense of things and crime/violence being the main ones, very very different. Has left us again wondering if our 'bigger house' lifesyle costs a lot in other sacrifices, such as the travel thing, both lots of visitors have decided its a one off holiday destination only as its too far and too expensive bit sad I would have loved my bro to emigrate here which was a consideration of his after the divorce ) anyway had to get it all off me chest its been a emotional few weeks and weve yet to say goodbye to the visitors
Its going to be difficult and again raises the very ugly distance/expense thing from those you click with. That really been 'it' for me, realised with my brother how much you miss the pom humour and the just 'getting it' thing you really dont have with aus and aussies even after 8 years!

WelshSarah

A very honest post.

I bet they will go 'home' and start telling all how wonderful it is as they forget the itty bitty details!!

Dont you have the injection of pom humour from your UK friends here?

We have only been here almost 6 months and are on our 2nd lot of vivitors out of 4 before the end of August!! I think they figured we could hate it and go home so it was their only chance of a trip down under with free accomodation!! The inlaws are here at the mo and they have found the distance between places and the sheer size of the place hard to comprehend!! Its like constantly driving on the dual carraigeways at home isnt it!!

Chin up though, I am sure your emotions will settle down again before long and you will go back to 'normal'. Whatever normal is around here!!!


I was very emotional when my sister left 3 weeks ago after 2 weeks here, which was really weird as I didnt miss HER so much just what she represented... familiarity, family, home, my old life... I kept bursting into tears ( which is SO not me!!) but after 24 hours it just went!!!! Strange this emigrating lark eh!!

However my feet will be sore from dancing the jig after my mother in law, father in law and sister in law leave by the end of August!!! I will pick up my medal for bravery at Brizzie airport departure desk!!!

melbournegirl

I was reading the other day that there have been 17 knife murders of teenagers in London this year so far. I would have thought that was incredibly high. Yes, there have been some violent incidents here of late but I don't think that is typical but they just happened to be around the same time and anyone watching the news would get the impression of crime/violence happening on a frequent basis.

I have read people on here saying that that violent crimes are not reported here. This is not true and are always reported in the media unless there is a legal/police investigation reason not to.

Of course there are problems with crime etc. here but it happens all over the world.

If you go to this link on Nationmater you will see comparitive statistics for murder rates worldwide:

Australia is at #36 - way below U.S.A., U.K. and Canada.

http://www.nationmaster.com/graph/cri_mur-crime-murders

WelshSarah

I think the latest one where a boy was beaten by 3 other boys and a girl with baseball bats and then stabbed repeatedly is the 18th...

bigAPE

A very interesting post, which just highlights the point that I make all the time on the other Expat forum that people tend to have a rather blind grass is greener view of the world. Almost all (there are some exceptions) of those who we know that have returned to the UK or are currently unhappy here are people who have come here with unrealistic expectations of Australia and how their emigration would pan out. I have never understood people who would consider moving to the other side of the world without visiting a couple of times and doing a LOT of research. Only then can you even begin to guess that you'll be happy here and even then it's rarely the same as actually having to live here.

Australia is growing to become just as expensive as the UK and the current exchange rates and the UK and Oz property markets make this a really tough time to emigrate. However, when you weigh up all the pro's and con's I would still lay money on Australia. Somehow I just don't see the Aussies putting up with the same shit that we do/did from the government.

Yes, there is crime here *SHOCK*. I would bet if you looked at any news service anywhere in the world, with the exception of the Solomon Islands perhaps, you would see reports of crime. It's their job to report news. What you don't see is the overall figures or the feeling on the streets. The level of threat that you feel on a day-to-day basis.

In the inner Melbourne suburb that we live in we are as likely to be mugged and stabbed by a Possum as we are to see a drunken brawl in the street let alone school kids torturing and setting each other on fire.

Al

spartacus

Horrifying.

Grand Theft Auto played out in real life.

jad n rich

Thinking about this after my visitors comments - you take more notice, it is pretty frequent. I mean both these lots of people are still in OZ, so reading todays papers I cringe what they are thinking when a few of todays headlines are

2 teens one aged 14 bash man to death
dead baby found on driveway, ( I mean how many under 5 kids die of abuse here its flaming incredible the amount)
axe murder grandfather faces court
child sex cases clogging up courts
teen bashed with iron bar
gang of 15 beat man ..........

Since their comments I do notice these sort of headline are almost daily, that lot are just what I remember from this mornings tea break. I would have to conclude the visitors have a valid point, certainly cant deny what they are saying

Anyway at the mo both lots are in Cairns, Kuranda railway should compare favourably to the UK subway

jad n rich

[QUOTE=justsarah;6541715]



I was very emotional when my sister left 3 weeks ago after 2 weeks here, which was really weird as I didnt miss HER so much just what she represented... !

Strange this emigrating lark eh!!



I am dreading it, really feel quite weird, almost scared !! about the impending goodbyes. Woke up in middle of night, couldnt sleep, got up walked about thinking what the furk am I doing here yet my brothers here till the end of july, and I am like that already. Awful having half your family here and half on other side of world, wouldnt wish it on anyone.

bcworld

Yes, and if you flick that view onto 'Per Capita' which really gives a valid comparison you get:

Australia #43
UK #46

In fact if you choose to believe in Nationmaster, it quotes Aus having higher crime rates (per capita) in almost every category than the UK.

rabsody

I sent my friend some links from Nationmaster re crime to counter her DailyMail-ism.

The one I couldn't get my head round was that Aus is 3rd in the world for rape - I wondered if that was in some way a reflection of the attitude towards women in general? (not saying it is, just thinking out loud).

asprilla

This is a really interesting post, and it shows up some common emotions that most expats deal with.

We all want to receive "approval" from family & friends, whatever we do in life. When we change jobs, buy a new car, or start a relationship, we tell our family and friends the news, hoping that they will react favourably.

I think that this kind of "approval" is even more crucial for expats. After all, by moving your immediate family from one side of the world to the other in search of a better life, you are implicity saying "I'm not happy with the life I have here in the UK". From what I've read on BE, many families remaining in the UK take this even further and read it as "I'm not satisfied with the family and friends I have in the UK", even when this isn't the motivation for the move.

So, when family and friends visit and make disparaging comments about everyday things that we experience, we too can take this the wrong way. We like to read in between the lines (even if there's nothing in between the lines in the first place) and in these instances, we think that they are implying "why did you move over here when life isn't better than you had it before?"

tassietiger

Theres no crime in OZ because crimes illegal over here.
Also theres no poverty the govenment gives everyone 1 million dollars a year in dole money for doing nothing except sunbathing on the beach all day.
We all live in 10 bedroom McMansions with ocean views with swimming pools, Plenty of luxury boats and cars and have 5 Balinese servants each to do all the cooking, cleaning and to serve our drinks. Its paradise down here.

Nu-Shooz

We have visitors from Scotland, Oban. They are staying with in-laws here in Perth.
They said Perth is lovely................reminds them of Oban, very quiet and slow pace. They are looking forward to going home now after 3 months here. They understand now why we are leaving too. But before they came here they used to say we must be mad to want to leave!!! Just shows how a visit can change your mind.

bcworld

Well according to GMTV anyway!

BadgeIsBack

I ban the word ''lovely'' by all visitors to our household, if that makes you feel any better Jad. I tell them all about the problems here, most of which I glean from expats which I disguise by saying "it's a recorded fact that some migrants etc etc". Some look at me therefore as if I must be REALLY disgruntled living here, which I don't - far from it. They must wonder who I hang out with. I am very much a voyeur in this regard.

There's a good friend of ours - almost family - migrating and even he deals out all the negative views of Australia which he copies from me.
But this is a man who will earn 150+ a year and has 2 apartments in Sydney and Melbourne who has it all.

We all deal with it differently. Some of us are nonplussed that family are on the other side of the world. My mother has lived on the other side of the UK for years and I never saw her much anyhow(!)

We found people in the UK were impressed with the idea of Australia but noone really was wanting to be here like you hear from some people's stories.

My father's neighbour who lives with his Mum and has a pretty sheltered life disguised his slight interest with the fact that an Australian man he once met took more interest in his back yard shed than in the view from his house. That made me laugh.