thursday joke
Mar 15th 2006, 7:41 pm
#1
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 936
thursday joke
An Irishman's daughter had not been home in 6yrs. Upon her return her father berated her.
"Where have you been, you ingrate?! Why didn't you write to us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? Don't you know what you put your mum though?!"
The girl crying replied "sniff sniff...... I became a prostitue."
"What! get out of here you shameless harlot! Sinner! You are a disgrace to this family, I don't ever want to see you again."
"Ok dad, as you wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, title deeds to a 10 bedroom mansion, plus a saving certificate for 2million. For my little brother a Rolex & for you a brand new Mercedes & lifelong membership to the local golf course."
"What was it you said you had become?" said the father.
"A Prostitute" said the daughter.
"Oh sweet Jesus" said the father, I thought you said a PROTESTANT, come & give me a hug."
"Where have you been, you ingrate?! Why didn't you write to us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? Don't you know what you put your mum though?!"
The girl crying replied "sniff sniff...... I became a prostitue."
"What! get out of here you shameless harlot! Sinner! You are a disgrace to this family, I don't ever want to see you again."
"Ok dad, as you wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, title deeds to a 10 bedroom mansion, plus a saving certificate for 2million. For my little brother a Rolex & for you a brand new Mercedes & lifelong membership to the local golf course."
"What was it you said you had become?" said the father.
"A Prostitute" said the daughter.
"Oh sweet Jesus" said the father, I thought you said a PROTESTANT, come & give me a hug."
Mar 15th 2006, 9:35 pm
#2
On the Dark Side :-)
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: South Wales to New South Wales!
Posts: 3,065
Re: thursday joke
Originally Posted by don544
An Irishman's daughter had not been home in 6yrs. Upon her return her father berated her.
"Where have you been, you ingrate?! Why didn't you write to us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? Don't you know what you put your mum though?!"
The girl crying replied "sniff sniff...... I became a prostitue."
"What! get out of here you shameless harlot! Sinner! You are a disgrace to this family, I don't ever want to see you again."
"Ok dad, as you wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, title deeds to a 10 bedroom mansion, plus a saving certificate for 2million. For my little brother a Rolex & for you a brand new Mercedes & lifelong membership to the local golf course."
"What was it you said you had become?" said the father.
"A Prostitute" said the daughter.
"Oh sweet Jesus" said the father, I thought you said a PROTESTANT, come & give me a hug."
"Where have you been, you ingrate?! Why didn't you write to us, not even a line to let us know how you were doing? Why didn't you call? Don't you know what you put your mum though?!"
The girl crying replied "sniff sniff...... I became a prostitue."
"What! get out of here you shameless harlot! Sinner! You are a disgrace to this family, I don't ever want to see you again."
"Ok dad, as you wish. I just came back to give mum this fur coat, title deeds to a 10 bedroom mansion, plus a saving certificate for 2million. For my little brother a Rolex & for you a brand new Mercedes & lifelong membership to the local golf course."
"What was it you said you had become?" said the father.
"A Prostitute" said the daughter.
"Oh sweet Jesus" said the father, I thought you said a PROTESTANT, come & give me a hug."
PMSL
Mar 16th 2006, 2:10 am
#3
BE Enthusiast
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Perth WA
Posts: 936
Re: thursday joke
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled, and said, "Business, I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?" "Lecture," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?" "Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all this with you. I don't even know your name." Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
Mar 16th 2006, 3:14 am
#4
On the Dark Side :-)
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: South Wales to New South Wales!
Posts: 3,065
Re: thursday joke
Originally Posted by don544
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized that she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?" She turned, smiled, and said, "Business, I'm going to the Annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago." He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting for nymphomaniacs! Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at the convention?" "Lecture," she responded. "I am the lead lecturer where I use information that I have learned from my own personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really," he said, "and what kinds of myths are there?" "Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent that are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with the absolutely best stamina is the Southern Redneck." Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing all this with you. I don't even know your name." Tonto," the man said, "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends call me Bubba."
Mar 16th 2006, 6:14 am
#5
Life's a gamble
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Solihull2Gold Coast-Sept '06
Posts: 2,492
Re: thursday joke
Lmaobt :d :d :d
Mar 16th 2006, 6:45 am
#6
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: WA
Posts: 1,784
Re: thursday joke
Good one! 
I guess tomorrow there will be lots of Irish jokes as it is St Patricks Day!
I guess tomorrow there will be lots of Irish jokes as it is St Patricks Day!
