Swine Flu

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Old Jun 10th 2009, 11:53 am
  #1  
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Default Swine Flu

We are travelling to Melbourne next month and visiting Singapore on the way back. My MIL phoned in a panic about Swine Flu today and after calming her down and telling her to breath deeply, she said that she had heard that if/when it is confirmed to be a pandemic (as now seems likely), all travel from Victoria to Singapore will be halted. Bloody hope not as we've booked and paid a large deposit for accomodation in Singapore and also, I really do want to go there.

We are overnighting in Dubai on the way down, then visiting Sydney with a short break in Singapore on the way back (which was meant to be the relaxing part of the holiday).

Any thoughts apart from shut up you daft bint and get on with it!?

Not sure how to do a link, hence me cutting and pasting!


Page last updated at 10:42 GMT, Wednesday, 10 June 2009 11:42 UK
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Australia flu 'may tip pandemic'

The World Health Organization last declared a pandemic 41 years ago
A sharp increase in swine flu cases in Australia may mean the infection has become a pandemic, the World Health Organization says.

For that to happen, officials would have to verify that the disease had become established outside North America, where the crisis began.

"Once I get indisputable evidence, I will make the announcement," said WHO director general, Margaret Chan.

More than 1,200 people have contracted the virus in Australia - none fatally.

The total means Australia has seen a four-fold increase in a week.

Less than a month ago the country had only a handful of cases of the H1N1 virus but it now has the highest number of infections outside North America.

Victoria and the state capital, Melbourne, are the worst-hit with more than 1,000 confirmed cases.

Evolving

Most of those affected are suffering only a mild illness, but the Health Minister of Australia's Queenland state, Paul Lucas, has warned that the contagious respiratory condition would inevitably claim lives.


It does not mean that the severity of the situation has increased

WHO's Keiji Fukuda


Q&A: Advice about swine flu
What scientists know about flu
On Tuesday, the head of the WHO's global influenza programme, Keiji Fukuda, said the stituation had "evolved a lot" in recent days.

"We are getting close to knowing that we are in a pandemic situation," he said.

But Dr Fukuda urged calm. "It does not mean that the severity of the situation has increased or that people are getting seriously sick at higher numbers or higher rates than before," he said.

The WHO will hold a conference call with governments on Wednesday before making a formal announcement, Associated Press news agency reported.

Following the major outbreaks in North America the flu alert is currently at phase five of a six-level scale.

The virus has infected more than 26,500 people in 73 countries, the WHO said on Tuesday.



The media must play a part here, emphasising the facts about this virus and not over-reacting

Fergus Walsh
BBC medical correspondent


Read more from Fergus Walsh
BBC medical correspondent Fergus Walsh says it is true that the word "pandemic" sounds scary. But it simply means a global epidemic of an infectious disease.

He says it is not a signal that the virus is getting more virulent - only a measure of its geographical spread.

As the number of H1N1 cases in Australia passes 1,200, Singapore has urged its citizens to avoid travel to Victoria.

Authorities in New South Wales and South Australia, as well as the national capital, Canberra, have told children who have recently travelled to Melbourne to stay away from school for a week on their return home.

The entire squad and staff of the Brisbane Broncos rugby league club have been put into quarantine as tests are carried out on a player suspected of contracting swine flu.
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Old Jun 10th 2009, 12:04 pm
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Default Re: Swine Flu

26,500 out of a population of, say, 7 billion is only a small percentage.
As wwith Fergus Walsh saying "The media must play a part here, emphasising the facts about this virus and not over-reacting", that would be pretty hard for the media to do, as not over-reacting doesn't rate well. About the comment from Qld Health Minister, Paul Lucas, I wouldn't give any credence to what he says, as he is well known for stuffing up any department that he has headed.

Last edited by The Bloke; Jun 10th 2009 at 12:07 pm.
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Old Jun 10th 2009, 12:17 pm
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Default Re: Swine Flu

The tests are misleading and a number have been simply misdiagnosed raising the reported oinks.

Make sure you have travel insurance in case Singapore is in lockdown through avian/SARS.

Oh what a shame to be laid up in Melbourne right in the middle of what promises to be an excellent ski season

Where are all the jokes on bird/pigs? avian/hog flu
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Old Jun 10th 2009, 12:34 pm
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Default Re: Swine Flu

Originally Posted by Geelong Gent

Where are all the jokes on bird/pigs? avian/hog flu
Revenge is so sweet.....





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The turkeys have bird flu, the cows have mad cow disease.
I am telling you boys... unless you want to see more pork served
on Thanksgiving, we are going to have to get our own disease.


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The Latest "Pig Flu" Movie Titles
Swinedler's List
Pig Trouble In Little Mexico
Silence of the Hogs
In Ham's Way
Babe: Death In The City
Swiney Hog, Demon Butcher Of Fleet Street
Memoirs Of A Butcher
Snout Of Africa

All will star Kevin Bacon


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HEALTH WARNING and COMMUNITY SERVICE WARNING:

This is not a time for panic. It is no pig deal.
It is a mild hamademic.
Do not believe the spam you're getting


But I think the Aporkalypse is upon us!!!


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Is sneezing like a pig a porcine of health?

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This swine flu is serious business.
My daughter woke up this morning with her hair in pigtails.
Should we be worried?


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Patient: Doctor – I think I have the swine flu.
Doctor: How long have you felt like this?
Patient: For about a Wee wee wee wee eek!


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Treatment for swine flu: Give her some oinkment and send a hambulance.


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Drug industry marketing schedule:-

1980 – HIV

1986 – Mad Cow

2003 – SARS

2007 – Bird ‘flu

2009 – Swine ‘flu

2011 – dog, cat, mouse, hamster, Bunny ‘flu, fever, diahorrea

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US Centres for Disease Control – Advisory – Prescribe TAMIFLU for:
Waking with apple in mouth.
Craving truffles.
Licking plate clean.
Ordering BLTs with just “L” and “T”.
Wanting to run for the British Parliament.
Visitors say “Man, this place is a pigsty!”
Smell of fever and bacon.
Fantasising about Miss Piggy.
Panic attacks instead of arousal from a smothering of honey.

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You know you are getting swine flu when:
1. Tears flow from your small eyes during a nightly bedtime reading of Three Little Pigs
2. A small curly tail is growing at the top of your tailbone
3. When called to dinner, you head directly to the trough in the backyard
4. Your thumbs and big toes are missing
5. You apply mud instead of suntan lotion on a sunny day
6. You develop a liking for truffles
7. At each meal you literally lick your plate clean
8. You emit short snorts between sentences
9. When friends visit you, they remark, “Man, this place is a pigsty!”
10. Fever accompanied by the smell of bacon


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My friend says he has swine flu, but you know what porkies he tells.


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Did you hear Kermit the Frog recently died of swine flu?

His last words were, “Damn that pig! She told me she was clean!”

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"Will there be a mass outbreak of Human/Avian Swine flu?"

"When pigs fly."


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I guess you will know if you have the swine flu once you start counting your toes, one little piggy, two little piggy.

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How did the pig get on the roof?

The swine "Flew"


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How do you know you've got swine flu?

... the thermometer tells you you're bacon.

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