Sperm donor to pay child support
Dec 6th 2007, 12:04 am
#32
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 4,555
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Blokes donate because they get 10 quid for jacking off. There is no moral obligation. Not many will want to do that with the chance of little Johnny or Jane turning up later in life.
As for the OP. The donor should have had legal advice from the beginning. I also know a lesbian couple who conceived the same way without too much in the way of legal advice.
The donor now wants partial custody after 2 years despite knowing the implications!!
The law needs to change to account for these inevitable events and people really should obtain proper legal advice and go through the authorities.
As for the OP. The donor should have had legal advice from the beginning. I also know a lesbian couple who conceived the same way without too much in the way of legal advice.
The donor now wants partial custody after 2 years despite knowing the implications!!
The law needs to change to account for these inevitable events and people really should obtain proper legal advice and go through the authorities.
Dec 6th 2007, 11:28 am
#33
Forum Regular
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 44
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
Blokes donate because they get 10 quid for jacking off. There is no moral obligation. Not many will want to do that with the chance of little Johnny or Jane turning up later in life.
As for the OP. The donor should have had legal advice from the beginning. I also know a lesbian couple who conceived the same way without too much in the way of legal advice.
The donor now wants partial custody after 2 years despite knowing the implications!!
The law needs to change to account for these inevitable events and people really should obtain proper legal advice and go through the authorities.
As for the OP. The donor should have had legal advice from the beginning. I also know a lesbian couple who conceived the same way without too much in the way of legal advice.
The donor now wants partial custody after 2 years despite knowing the implications!!
The law needs to change to account for these inevitable events and people really should obtain proper legal advice and go through the authorities.
Like the case of men who do not prove to be the father after years of persecution and payments.
Sorry to keep being a burden with my opinion on this thread but I havd seen the side of the administrative feaxpa and got out of paying 400 pound per month - when the kids are older what the hell have my wages got to do with his ex's income in life ??????????????????
Dec 6th 2007, 11:50 am
#34
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
There are so many issues wrapped up in this case that it is hard to unravel them all.
Primarily, I think is what seems to be the authority's view that 2 same sex partners can not be 'real' parents. If this child has 2 parents, why does the biological father have to be involved??
Secondly, fertility issues. Should a woman have the right to use donated sperm? I genuinely don't know. I was told at 26 that I couldn't have children without IVF. After a great deal of thought, my husband and I decided that we did not want to go through the physical and emotional turmoil of this process which may end without a child and accepted our infertility. By great good luck, 10 years later, I conceived naturally but had a great deal of medical help to sustain the pregnancy.
I can understand 100% what a childless couple feels and it is not easy. However, is it a right to have a child? I don't know, it is a wonderful thing - but perhaps infertility is part of nature and has a purpose? If I hadn't had medical help, I would have lost my baby, so you could continue the argument and say that I should have been allowed to miscarry as it is 'natural'. Where do you draw the line?
Thirdly, the CSA. They seem to be a law unto themsleves. So many absent fathers get away with not paying a penny, but good fathers who share the responsibility with their ex partners, seem to be penalised. I have a friend whose husband has a child with his ex. The child lives with them 3 days a week and they pay for her school uniform, holidays, trips etc plus paying living expenses to her Mother. they have an amicable relationship and the child is happy and well provided for. However, her Mother lost her job and that's where the CSA became involved when she claimed benefits. The father now has to pay twice as much to the CSA - and he continues to support his child in the ways he always has - but apparently this doesn't count. His ex is worse off, he is worse off, the child is suffering and my friend is delaying having a child of her own because they can't afford it due to the CSA payments. They actually worked out that they would be better off not working, but because they are honest and hardworking people, they wouldn't sponge like that! They are just hoping the ex gets another job soon.
Primarily, I think is what seems to be the authority's view that 2 same sex partners can not be 'real' parents. If this child has 2 parents, why does the biological father have to be involved??
Secondly, fertility issues. Should a woman have the right to use donated sperm? I genuinely don't know. I was told at 26 that I couldn't have children without IVF. After a great deal of thought, my husband and I decided that we did not want to go through the physical and emotional turmoil of this process which may end without a child and accepted our infertility. By great good luck, 10 years later, I conceived naturally but had a great deal of medical help to sustain the pregnancy.
I can understand 100% what a childless couple feels and it is not easy. However, is it a right to have a child? I don't know, it is a wonderful thing - but perhaps infertility is part of nature and has a purpose? If I hadn't had medical help, I would have lost my baby, so you could continue the argument and say that I should have been allowed to miscarry as it is 'natural'. Where do you draw the line?
Thirdly, the CSA. They seem to be a law unto themsleves. So many absent fathers get away with not paying a penny, but good fathers who share the responsibility with their ex partners, seem to be penalised. I have a friend whose husband has a child with his ex. The child lives with them 3 days a week and they pay for her school uniform, holidays, trips etc plus paying living expenses to her Mother. they have an amicable relationship and the child is happy and well provided for. However, her Mother lost her job and that's where the CSA became involved when she claimed benefits. The father now has to pay twice as much to the CSA - and he continues to support his child in the ways he always has - but apparently this doesn't count. His ex is worse off, he is worse off, the child is suffering and my friend is delaying having a child of her own because they can't afford it due to the CSA payments. They actually worked out that they would be better off not working, but because they are honest and hardworking people, they wouldn't sponge like that! They are just hoping the ex gets another job soon.
Dec 7th 2007, 9:02 am
#35
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Western burbs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,260
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
I feel sorry for the guy. As a female I feel that we have all the choices and men have to go along with the decision....ie abortion or go through with an unplanned pregnancy and the bloke has to accept.
OK people should take more care but no contraception is 100pct effective.
As to donors : men can become sperm donors easily, informally; whereas women have to go via hospital treatment to be an egg donor with lots of medical intervention, so women can never 'informally' agree to be a donor.
Finally I find it amazing that people go on about IVF not being anyone's right. Unfortunately some of the people who contribute least to society produce children easily and live off the state, and people requiring IVF are slated. (Yes a big generalisation).
If IVF is not a valid treatment, surely lots of other medical treatment should be queried. People who do extreme sports/ overweight people/ smokers/ the elderly. In fact why should anyone expect medical treatment just because the human race has developed the technology?
Well that has wandered nicely off the point!
It reminds me of the recent lesbian couple who had twins 3 years ago via IVF and claimed compensation (in Sydney) for the stress of having twins!
OK people should take more care but no contraception is 100pct effective.
As to donors : men can become sperm donors easily, informally; whereas women have to go via hospital treatment to be an egg donor with lots of medical intervention, so women can never 'informally' agree to be a donor.
Finally I find it amazing that people go on about IVF not being anyone's right. Unfortunately some of the people who contribute least to society produce children easily and live off the state, and people requiring IVF are slated. (Yes a big generalisation).
If IVF is not a valid treatment, surely lots of other medical treatment should be queried. People who do extreme sports/ overweight people/ smokers/ the elderly. In fact why should anyone expect medical treatment just because the human race has developed the technology?
Well that has wandered nicely off the point!
It reminds me of the recent lesbian couple who had twins 3 years ago via IVF and claimed compensation (in Sydney) for the stress of having twins!
Dec 7th 2007, 10:00 am
#36
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Sep 2007
Location: Happily in Adelaide
Posts: 11,994
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
I feel sorry for the guy. As a female I feel that we have all the choices and men have to go along with the decision....ie abortion or go through with an unplanned pregnancy and the bloke has to accept.
OK people should take more care but no contraception is 100pct effective.
As to donors : men can become sperm donors easily, informally; whereas women have to go via hospital treatment to be an egg donor with lots of medical intervention, so women can never 'informally' agree to be a donor.
Finally I find it amazing that people go on about IVF not being anyone's right. Unfortunately some of the people who contribute least to society produce children easily and live off the state, and people requiring IVF are slated. (Yes a big generalisation).
If IVF is not a valid treatment, surely lots of other medical treatment should be queried. People who do extreme sports/ overweight people/ smokers/ the elderly. In fact why should anyone expect medical treatment just because the human race has developed the technology?
Well that has wandered nicely off the point!
It reminds me of the recent lesbian couple who had twins 3 years ago via IVF and claimed compensation (in Sydney) for the stress of having twins!
OK people should take more care but no contraception is 100pct effective.
As to donors : men can become sperm donors easily, informally; whereas women have to go via hospital treatment to be an egg donor with lots of medical intervention, so women can never 'informally' agree to be a donor.
Finally I find it amazing that people go on about IVF not being anyone's right. Unfortunately some of the people who contribute least to society produce children easily and live off the state, and people requiring IVF are slated. (Yes a big generalisation).
If IVF is not a valid treatment, surely lots of other medical treatment should be queried. People who do extreme sports/ overweight people/ smokers/ the elderly. In fact why should anyone expect medical treatment just because the human race has developed the technology?
Well that has wandered nicely off the point!
It reminds me of the recent lesbian couple who had twins 3 years ago via IVF and claimed compensation (in Sydney) for the stress of having twins!
Dec 7th 2007, 10:24 am
#37
Forum Regular
Joined: Dec 2006
Posts: 62
Re: Sperm donor to pay child support
What would happen if the sperm was taken with out the mans permission, would he still be liable ?
Dec 7th 2007, 9:37 pm
#38
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Apr 2005
Location: Western burbs, Melbourne
Posts: 2,260
