On special at Wal-Mart...
Feb 27th 2006, 6:41 pm
#1
Thread Starter
Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,347
On special at Wal-Mart...
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him:
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9).
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle 7).
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies.
"There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart. Just give it a urine
sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about
it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars . . . A lot cheaper than a
doctor."
So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.
He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine
sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid
heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart."
That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten
dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener (Aisle 9).
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo (Aisle 7).
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
Feb 27th 2006, 8:28 pm
#2
Life's a gamble
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Solihull2Gold Coast-Sept '06
Posts: 2,492
Re: On special at Wal-Mart...
LMAO :d
Why don't my smiles work?
oh, they do now
Why don't my smiles work?
oh, they do now
