Should teens be made to do chores?
 

The reason I ask is, I think they should give a helping hand in the house, but funnily enough my teenage sons disagree..:lol:

Please I would like some honest opinions here, Am I being too hard? This is what I expect my sons to do, whether it gets done or not is another story.....

(1) Take turns in washing up after tea ( the hassle this causes is just ridiculous, you'd think I would of asked them to walk the plank not wash up! )

(2) On Sundays I strip the beds then take them new bedding in and expect them to put it on, youngest has a moan, but it gets put on within the hour.
Eldest try's everything to get out of it, hissy fits the lot.
It normally takes my husband to get cross and to stand there watching him do it, while he purposely rolls around inside his quilt-cover, just to wind his dad up and it works:lol: this can go on for a very long time as he has just got a double bed and uses that as an excuse, he says it's harder to put on.

(3)In summer they cut the grass, no problem here as they both like using the lawn mower.

(4) In winter eldest chops logs, he likes using the axe, so no problem there. Youngest is supposed to bring logs in from the log shed but he refuses now, he says there are too many spiders in the shed and he'd rather freeze......Fair enough! I can't argue with that! That's why I gave him the job, I'm not keen on spiders either. :lol:


Basically that's about it, I don't think I'm asking too much do you?:blink:

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

Not at all. I think kids should do chores as soon as they are able which are age appropriate. My kids have to keep their rooms tidy. They alternate unloading dishwasher (I load, I am a bit OCD about that!). My eldest (16) has just started doing the washing and my youngest (11) usually keeps their bathroom clean. They both put their own bedding on when I change the beds. I also expect them to clean up after themselves generally if they make a mess in the house anywhere.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

Children need to learn how to do things in life, and learn not to expect heir parents to be their personal slaves. You need to set them up for independent life.

Having said that DD didn't have many chores as a younger teen, because she was a swimmer and a musician, so her mornings before school were taken up with training, and her afternoons with music practice, more training and homework. In the holidays she had to strip and make her bed, help to wash up if she had done any cooking and help carry the shopping. In Y12 she had no set chores since although she had retired from swimming, she had her nose to the books whenever she was awake. Now she has finished she has to hoover, keep her room tidy (slight failure on that side), clean her bathroom (still learning on that front), help with meal preparation and is also learning to iron.

Be strong and insist that your teens do the chores. Spray your woodshed so there is no spider infestation! No chores done= no privileges/pocket money. If it really is a big deal, see what chores they will do.

And good luck!

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

I have three boys, they've always been expected to do chores which have varied with their age.

They're 22, 21 and 19 and I'm trying to encourage them all to leave :D so here are their chores:

Weekly three way rota for the following: Table setting/table clearing/dishwasher (they decided amongst themselves that one person would do the table setting and table clearing so they'd get a week off)
Weekly three way rota for the following: Emptying bin/emptying recycling/taking & bringing in wheelie bins.

Eldest feeds the dogs, youngest feeds the cats, middlechild does litter tray. (Yes, he gets off light)

Lawn mowing front and back (we're on a large plot so this is a horrible chore :D) - it's divided into 6 areas and they do 2 each.

They're expected to do their own washing.

They sweep the floors - again divided into 3 areas which they rotate around.

They'll regularly cook to give me a break and youngestchild is general tea maker/drink preparer (mostly because he'll ask if I want a drink, bless him)

Other chores will be thought up and allocated depending on how evil I'm feeling, but I still think they get off pretty light.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

Well, it looks like I'm going wrong somewhere!:huh:



I was just about to ask you Northernbird ( nice screen name btw) and you Caroline if your children were all girls. Because I do think girls seem to comply more when asked to do household chores. ( my friends daughters are all very good that way)

At what age did your children start doing chores?

Also Caroline I have tried to get some spider spray here in the UK, but can't find any. I came across some 'insect' spray and tried it in the house but that didn't work.



Dreamy, if you heard a bang it was my jaw dropping on the floor! :eek:
Are you ex military?:lol: I could do with borrowing you for a week or two!
I think you need to start a bootcamp up, you'll make a fortune with your skills!
Three lads huh? Can I ask you what age you started to 'train' them?:lol:



By the way, thanks for replying. I think I might have to show my sons this thread!:thumbsup:

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

I also have 3 boys.

They do help, but usually have to be asked and sometimes moan about it:sneaky:

But their father is part of the problem, if say they mow he would do it again:frown: so its done properly. Like err its grass who cares?

If I could change one thing it would be go back to age 3 and enlist them in chores then!! By say 8 they should have had a firm list, say make bed, do rubbish and the dishwasher. By teens, chuck in a yard mow or vaccum entire house. Something substantial. Mine were introduced to chores much too late.

Last time we went overseas, middle teens announced he was exhausted from having to look after a large house, pool, acreage, dogs, washing, and younger teen brother ....... I just smiled:lol:

On the positive side, mine always got part time jobs at 15. That was invaluable, many teen jobs they get treated like crap!! Cleaning the muck out of meat fridges, or large aussie chains where they are called in at 1 hours notice and if you dont turn up your not on next weeks roster, nothing like it for taking the wind out of that infamous overblown teen attitude.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

God they are bloody hard work aren't they?! :lol:

Mine moan for England, if there was prize for moaning they'd win it hands down!



I always imagined myself with 4 lovely daughters who wanted to be ballerinas and ride ponies etc...

Instead I have two proper lads, who like wrestling, farting and being born idol!

Having said that, they are very well mannered, eldest has held a job down a year, he is nearly sixteen. I suppose it could be a lot worse.

If I knew way back, when they were small and cute what I know now, well I think I would of put them on ebay! :lol: Only kidding!


As a add on, I agree with you about training them up earlier, when they were younger. I left it too late too. Now they actually have to do something, which isn't much, the odd job, they think they are hard done too! They are going to have a big shock one day.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

I think kids should agree to make a fair contribution to the smooth running of the house they share.. however, I think parents also should be mindful of the fact that teens these days also have a lot of responsibilities placed on young shoulders.

There is a LOT of work involved in Senior years at high school (and outside school jobs) and personally, I would rather unstack a dishwasher (for example) myself than insist that a kid does it while they're half way through a major essay that's going to keep them up all night.

I am pretty lax around the house when it comes to chores (and yes, it does show sometimes) but if the kids clean up after themselves when they make a mess, set the table when asked and help get the groceries in, I'm happy.

School has just finished for one and I'm educating in the ways of independent washing and ironing.

With regards to the OP's son who doesn't like the Sunday bedding change... I wonder if doing it on another day might help? I am a big advocate of having Sunday as a relax day and must admit I'd be put out if I always had to (get up early?) strip my bed and change the sheets on my day off.

My husband is a lot more chore oriented that me, but honestly, I'd rather we left the house more often and had fun at the weekend. Life's too short to prioritise the mundane.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

If they wanted pocket money, they had to expect to work for it - so they've always had little chores to do (it would only have been picking up their toys when they were little, extending to making beds as they got older) so it just expanded from there.

Plus I'm a lazy cow so if I have three slaves to do stuff for me, I'm going to make the most of it :D

Don't get me wrong, getting Middlechild to do other chores can be torturous, he's a wind up merchant who knows which buttons to push, especially the procrastination button but he knows he has to do it in the end and I have been known to turn his pc off in the middle of a gaming session if he's naffed me off too much. The weekly rota based chores are all done pretty much without dissent or complaint. We also have a warning/yellow card/red card system if chores aren't done to my satisfaction :D

(Oh, they also bring in the grocery shopping and put it all away - that one ALWAYS causes arguments, I don't know why)

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

My daughter works full time and doesn't want to do housework so she pays the cleaners. We agreed that her paying $95/wk for someone else to clean was a fair deal.

When she (and my son) were young they got an allowance for doing small chores like setting the table, helping to sweep up, etc.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

I agree with the posters above who point out that school & extra curricular demands can be huge on teens; if you have a sporty, academic, and musical teen then you've either got to be realistic about how much they can pitch in at home, or be prepared to let one of those areas be less prioritised. On this basis I do the massive lion's share of domestic stuff, though I do not like to be taken for granted so if I ask for something to be done (and I'm mindful about it being a reasonable ask), I pretty much expect it done reasonably well with a reasonably jolly face. I trained this into them by using natural consequences - ie if you piss me off when I ask something fair of you, I am not inclined to do anything for you. It takes about 6mins for this approach to work (can I have a lift, what's for tea, I've run out of credit, did that stain come out my top, did I tell you what X said about Y [they're girls] ... rarely an hour goes by without some requests).

I think there's also an issue in acknowledging differing standards of people sharing a house - I know I like it a whole lot tidier and cleaner than the other 3 in my family, so it's kind of fair that the fussy stuff (cleaning kitchen cupboards, hoovering under stuff, folding towels like so in the cupboard) is left to me.

Also having reasonable expectations about their rooms (which after all, are their rooms) - it's setting yourself up for disappointment to say 'keep your room clean' as that is wide open to interpretation, varies depending on mood, etc, so I am specific and keep it to 4 succinct 'guidelines': "no dirty clothes on the floor, no crockery in rooms, no clean clothes not folded and put away, and no rubbish not in the bin" (as each of those negatively impacts on me) but bed making and general tidying in there is pretty much down to them, apart from the couple of times a year where something important goes missing/ someone comes to stay and we do a massive clear out. I am lucky though that neither of them are revolting slobs - and both of them love it if they go on camp or whatever and I offer a room spruce in their absence.

No way would I ever strip a teenager's bed and then stand over them to put it back on :ohmy: - just leave it. Sooner or later said teen WILL strip their own bed, and then (possibly after a night or two on the bare mattress) they will make it up again. You don't have to beds weekly unless it's your bed - let them do it when they want it done.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

We did chores as kids for pocket money. Well I did, my sister tended to try everything she could to not do a thing. I fed the menagerie of animals: chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys, lambs & a goat. I mowed the orchard, collected fallen apples & plums, dug the veg garden etc. All paid varying prices.
My sister had to do the pots after tea. I dried them for an extra pound a week. She'd delay the washing, knowing I wanted to go to a disco, just so I'd wash & dry.
My kids had to do the washing up, make their beds & tidy their rooms. They fought over the washing up & broke so many pots I eventually bought a dishwasher. They then fought over whose turn it was to load or unload it.:banghead::banghead::banghead:

Oh & we had a gander as well, I tried to negotiate danger money because every time I went to feed the geese he'd bite me on the arse or on my bare thigh:eek:
I enjoyed every morsel when we ate him:sneaky:

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

Responding to the OP- I have one girl, but when she was growing up she was a tomboy. She takes after her father in the let's just drop it and leave it there for weeks, so some nagging is required. (See my original post as to why she had very few chores as a teen.)

It is never too young to start- from an early age, (and while I was a pre-school teacher,) the children had to tidy away their toys. Mostly involved throwing things into the correct box, but if they wanted another toy out, the first lot had to go away.

DD has applied for part time jobs, but hasn't got further than the interview stage as yet.

Today she has been lovely, and helped me carry the leaflets on my round, as I have been unwell and there were a lot of catalogues which were heavy. She doesn't expect a reward for it, which is even nicer.:starsmile:

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

20 year old stepson's bedroom was a pigsty, seriously, it was a health hazard and for the first time ever we saw a few cockroaches in the house. After two weeks of telling him to clean his mess up or else it's all getting turfed, and getting 'yeah yeah yeah, tomorrow' responses, scouse put everything in bin bags and threw it out. Clothes, dvds, bedding, the lot. And stepson was told he's replacing it all, not us.

Drastic? Maybe. But we work hard to keep our house clean, fresh and well maintained and there's no way we were going to tolerate another adult totally disrespecting our reasonable and fair house rules. Suck it up, princess (prince).

By the way - it worked.

Er, I'd better add that I get on very well with my stepson and am not a witch on a broomstick.

Re: Should teens be made to do chores?
 

Yes mine are girls. I also have my daughter's boyfriend here 95% of the time. He does more than they do because his kiwi mother has 5 kids and they all pitched in. He can't believe how little they have to do and how badly they treat me. He is petrified of/and adores his mother. I don't want my kids as slaves but I expect them to keep their own spaces clean and tidy and contribute a little to my chores.