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Should I or shouldn't I ?

View Poll Results: What should I do?
Divorce him and get it over with
24
72.73%
Wait another 6 months to see if he begins divorce proceedings?
3
9.09%
Contact him to see what the 'go' is and if he is planning on initiating the divorce?
6
18.18%
Voters: 33. You may not vote on this poll

Should I or shouldn't I ?

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Old May 7th 2012, 8:34 am
  #31  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Can't speak for Australia, but an uncontested divorce for me where I live was less than $100. Of course we agreed on splitting of assets. She got the material things, and I got out. While that worked for me,it's not the best advice if finances are more complicated. I did absorb 80% of the debt, however that was cleared in a few years. Get out!! it's worth it.
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Old May 7th 2012, 10:14 am
  #32  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Go ahead and get it over with.... No advantage to staying married under the circumstances... I'd be inclined to put "getting my affairs in order" ahead of any holiday..
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Old May 8th 2012, 12:58 am
  #33  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by eddie007
Go ahead and get it over with.... No advantage to staying married under the circumstances... I'd be inclined to put "getting my affairs in order" ahead of any holiday..
Thanks and I kind of understand the importance of getting my affairs in order but this is not just a holiday - I am going to spend some time with my son who has recently split from his fiancee - and is going through hell. And also spend some time with my estranged daughter - where we are working on building bridges - that is my priority this year.
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Old May 8th 2012, 2:38 am
  #34  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

OK - I have filled in the application for divorce - feels better already -just need to get the JOP to witness and then go to local family court to file - hoping to be able to do that tomorrow. Watch this space.
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Old May 28th 2012, 10:44 pm
  #35  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by sasbear
OK - I have filled in the application for divorce - feels better already -just need to get the JOP to witness and then go to local family court to file - hoping to be able to do that tomorrow. Watch this space.
Well 3 weeks since I sent the papers to be signed via the process servers and still NOTHING - ZILCH - ZERO!

What the hell is taking so long?? I called them and no answer. Apparently they can make several attempts to contact/meet with him - and they charge every bloody time!
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Old May 29th 2012, 4:20 am
  #36  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by sasbear
Well 3 weeks since I sent the papers to be signed via the process servers and still NOTHING - ZILCH - ZERO!

What the hell is taking so long?? I called them and no answer. Apparently they can make several attempts to contact/meet with him - and they charge every bloody time!
So the greater their failure rate the more money they make? I SOOOOOO need a job like that!!!
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Old May 30th 2012, 1:35 am
  #37  
 
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by sasbear
Well 3 weeks since I sent the papers to be signed via the process servers and still NOTHING - ZILCH - ZERO!

What the hell is taking so long?? I called them and no answer. Apparently they can make several attempts to contact/meet with him - and they charge every bloody time!
It must be different in Canberra.

Where I am, I applied for the divorce, filled in the forms, took them to the family court to be lodged. Then the papers were served on my x by the local court officer - no charge.
I turned up in court and it was just a stand up job. X didn't appear.

If they can't get hold of him to serve, after a certain amount of time here, they can still go ahead with the divorce if he's non compliant. That process is a little more time consuming though.
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Old May 30th 2012, 2:05 am
  #38  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by TiddlyPom
It must be different in Canberra.

Where I am, I applied for the divorce, filled in the forms, took them to the family court to be lodged. Then the papers were served on my x by the local court officer - no charge.
I turned up in court and it was just a stand up job. X didn't appear.

If they can't get hold of him to serve, after a certain amount of time here, they can still go ahead with the divorce if he's non compliant. That process is a little more time consuming though.
He is in Canberra and I am in NSW - when I filed in court they said I had to arrange to serve on him as I was the one doing the divorce - but I wasn't allowed to serve him myself. They advised either a family friend!! (none of those - or a process server.

I have emailed the company this morning to see what the go is as they said I should hear within 2 weeks.
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Old May 30th 2012, 2:40 am
  #39  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by Iwannabethere
So the greater their failure rate the more money they make? I SOOOOOO need a job like that!!!
Yep sounds like money for old rope;
We tried to serve him yesterday but there was a dog in the garden, we tried again today but there was no dog in the garden, so we thought he'd moved. We served them to the dog today & it ate them
You should pay only once for a service like that
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Old May 30th 2012, 3:24 am
  #40  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by sasbear
Well 3 weeks since I sent the papers to be signed via the process servers and still NOTHING - ZILCH - ZERO!

What the hell is taking so long?? I called them and no answer. Apparently they can make several attempts to contact/meet with him - and they charge every bloody time!
If you can get proof he has been served with the papers that should be enough. - He should have been asked to sign the Acknowledgment of Service which is all you need to be able to carry on with the application.

If he refused to sign, then the server has to fill out the Affidavit of service by hand form and you use that in it's place.


All info on serving papers is here: http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wp...e+of+documents


If they are charging every time, I would ask for the papers back and post them. All you need to do is send them to his last known address and get the proof of posting...
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Old May 30th 2012, 5:29 am
  #41  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by Wendy
If you can get proof he has been served with the papers that should be enough. - He should have been asked to sign the Acknowledgment of Service which is all you need to be able to carry on with the application.

If he refused to sign, then the server has to fill out the Affidavit of service by hand form and you use that in it's place.


All info on serving papers is here: http://www.familylawcourts.gov.au/wp...e+of+documents


If they are charging every time, I would ask for the papers back and post them. All you need to do is send them to his last known address and get the proof of posting...
I think the problem is....they don't have a residential address (he won't give it to me) and they only have his mobile number and work address. So if he arranges to be at work with them via mobile conversation - then doesn't go - they charge as they have made appt to meet him......
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Old May 30th 2012, 7:00 am
  #42  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by sasbear
I think the problem is....they don't have a residential address (he won't give it to me) and they only have his mobile number and work address. So if he arranges to be at work with them via mobile conversation - then doesn't go - they charge as they have made appt to meet him......

Ah, ok.

Can you not post them to his work address? Or better still courier them to him. You only have to prove that you have tried to serve them on him

I know that one lady in front of me at my divorce hearing had tried to contact her ex, and she only had proof of posting. Divorce was granted there and then.
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Old May 30th 2012, 9:35 am
  #43  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by sasbear
Well folks I would value your input here. For those of you (newbies) who won't know me (as I haven't been on here for a while now), I emigrated out here with hubby almost 8 years ago. Marraige broke down approx 2 years ago and have been separated for 20 months or so now.

Initially, Hubby sent angry message that he was going to divorce me and just needed a copy of the marraige certificate. I was fekkin annoyed as he could never do anything on off his own bat without asking for something from me - and here he was, asking for the bloody certificate. Me being spiteful (and angry that he stole from me) told him to get his own copy from the UK.

Not heard a thing for almost 9 months now so presume he is not going ahead with his plan. I checked with step-daughter and she has no idea either....suffice to say I really would like to be divorced but I am loathed to have to be the one to initiate is. The cost is the main thing - I really do feel an aversion to throwing any more moeny after the b&$#@d.

So am I being stubborn and what would you do?
I assume that the fact you're asking and considering it means that you want a divorce and to be rid of him so I would say just do it. Don't see it as throwing money after him, see it as an investment for YOU and your future free of him.

No point in cutting off your nose to spite your face! (I do love a good phrase!)
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Old May 30th 2012, 10:03 pm
  #44  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

Originally Posted by LisaIan
I assume that the fact you're asking and considering it means that you want a divorce and to be rid of him so I would say just do it. Don't see it as throwing money after him, see it as an investment for YOU and your future free of him.

No point in cutting off your nose to spite your face! (I do love a good phrase!)
I love a good phrase too!!! I would replace the 'your nose' with 'his ***k' and 'spite your face' with 'if you still have his body'!!!

I do wnat him out out out out
OUT of my life once and bloody all.....
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Old Jun 20th 2012, 8:01 am
  #45  
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Default Re: Should I or shouldn't I ?

so - tomorrow morning I will be heading to the family court with the signed (and witnessed) copy of 'his' side of the divorce papers! He finally agreed to meet and sign the papers and process servers called me Monday night and after taking my payment, they mailed them out to me.

Costly but worth it -
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