The Shepherd And The Yuppie

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Apr 14th 2006, 2:03 pm

Deadmeat

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The Shepherd And The Yuppie

Shameless hacked from a email without so much as a 'remove those greater-than signs ya lazy basteeed' ...

> The shepherd and the yuppie
>
> A shepherd was herding his flock in a remote pasture when suddenly a
> brand-new BMW advanced out of a dust cloud towards him. The driver, a young
> man in a Prada suit, Gucci shoes, Dior sunglasses and D&G tie, leans out the
> window and asks the shepherd: "If I tell you exactly how many sheep you have
> in your flock, will you give me one?"
>
> The shepherd looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his
> peacefully grazing flock and calmly answers: "Sure. Why not?"
>
> The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects It
> to his AT&T cell phone, surfs to a NASA page on the internet, where he calls
> up a GPS satellite navigation system to get an exact fix on his location
> which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an
> ultra-high-resolution photo.
>
> The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it
> to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany. Within seconds, he
> receives an email on his Palm Pilot that the image has been processed and
> the data stored.
>
> He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel
> spreadsheet with hundreds of complex formulae. He uploads all of this data
> via an email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a
> response.
>
> Finally, he prints out a full-colour, 150-page report on his hi-tech,
> miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the shepherd and says: "You have
> exactly 1,586 sheep"
>
> "That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my sheep," says the
> shepherd. He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on
> amused as the young man stuffs it into the boot of his car.
>
> Then the shepherd says to the young man: "Hey, if I can tell you exactly
> what your business is, will you give me back my sheep?" The young man thinks
> about it for a second and then says: "Okay, why not?". "You're a
> consultant," says the shepherd. "Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie.
> "But how did you guess that?"
>
> "No guessing required," answers the shepherd. "You showed up here even
> though nobody called you, you want to get paid for an answer I already knew,
> to a question I never asked and you know f-all about my business.......
> .......now give me back my dog."