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-   -   Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS) (https://britishexpats.com/forum/barbie-92/sexual-lubricants-what-not-use-adults-483314/)

Luke I Amyofath Sep 25th 2007 2:55 am

Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
The wife had surgery on her uteris last week so ive been a bit horny since because she's not quite up to sex just yet, so on Sunday morning as I give her a hug and quick feel of her boobs it made sense for her to smack me, tell me I wasnt getting any sex and also called me a dirty old horny bugger.

It must have been my charm........ What ever it was I got her to agree to a quickie boob sex and so off she went to get the hand cream. She gives me this little tube about twice the size of a lipstick and I rub a bit into the cleavage and go right to town.

After a while I said to the wife "feels like a bit of friction going on", too horny to stop off I go again. A couple minutes go by and I cant stand it any longer. It feels like my member has been dipped in hot tar so off I run into the shower trying desperately to put the fire down below out to no avail.

No matter what I did the burning carried on. It got so bad I grabbed my swimmers and sped to the local pool for a real long soak.

So for those of you who may find themselves in a similar position, my advise is to not use The Sanctuary brand body lotion as a lubricant. It has ginger in it, and its bloody hot on those sensitive male parts.

bridie Sep 25th 2007 2:58 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
PMSL that is the funniest thing I've read in ages!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :lol: :rofl: :lol:

Ransi Sep 25th 2007 2:58 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
I will make a note of it...

Centurion Sep 25th 2007 3:00 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
Poor bastard. Made me laugh though I'm afraid. :rofl:

Hat off for getting to the position of being able to use said lubricant though!

Luke I Amyofath Sep 25th 2007 3:03 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Centurion (Post 5350804)
Poor bastard. Made me laugh though I'm afraid. :rofl:

Hat off for getting to the position of being able to use said lubricant though!

Well she did have a choice, if you know what I mean ;)

Vanessa Sep 25th 2007 3:24 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Luke I Amyofath (Post 5350791)

So for those of you who may find themselves in a similar position, my advise is to not use The Sanctuary brand body lotion as a lubricant. It has ginger in it, and its bloody hot on those sensitive male parts.

it could have been worse - she could have grabbed a tube of Deep Heat :eek:

or Veet - it would have then been hot and bald!

Wendy Sep 25th 2007 3:26 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by Vanessa (Post 5350835)
it could have been worse - she could have grabbed a tube of Deep Heat :eek:

Maybe she mixed some of that in :D

renth Sep 25th 2007 3:31 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
ROTFL

nightnurse2 Sep 25th 2007 3:42 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
Tooooooooooo much information ;)

nickyjohnt Sep 25th 2007 3:44 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 
That is so funny !! should of gone straight to the freezer and stuck it in a

tub of ice cream :rofl:


Nicky

gedge Sep 25th 2007 3:48 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt (Post 5350869)
That is so funny !! should of gone straight to the freezer and stuck it in a

tub of ice cream :rofl:


Nicky

eww, no ice cream dessert for me tonight thank you

nickyjohnt Sep 25th 2007 4:06 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by gedge (Post 5350872)
eww, no ice cream dessert for me tonight thank you


I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob ! :rofl:

sasbear Sep 25th 2007 4:15 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt (Post 5350900)
I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob ! :rofl:

Funny as F:rofl:

bridie Sep 25th 2007 4:15 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt (Post 5350900)
I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob ! :rofl:

:lol:

gedge Sep 25th 2007 4:27 am

Re: Sexual Lubricants.... What not to use (ADULTS)
 

Originally Posted by nickyjohnt (Post 5350900)
I could be a new flavour !

Hot ginger knob ! :rofl:

would you like curly pu... i mean sprinkles on that?


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