virginiec

Why is grounding her undermining the school's authority? I would have thought that was backing up the school?

Sally Simpson

I was wondering that too as I would have thought it was reinforcing that what she did was unacceptable

bigAPE

Isn't that double punishment though ?

Interesting thread.

Al

Weird Fish

Honestly I would probably have done the same thing and then regretted it, but I do think that it was strange that the OP said it seemed harsh and then dished out a greater punishment.

However, schools use discipline such as detention for consitency across the board. When additional punishment by parents happen one pupil will get detention and a talking to at home, one might get beaten, one might get grounded, one might loose their pocket money, all will be different. If the punishment at home outweighs the one given at school the kids will just think "who cares" about the detention and not take it seriously as they have it far worse at home. It's a bit like me punishing one of my kids at home and then Dad returns from work and punishes them again his own way, it basically says my punishment wasn't good enough and shows a lack of respect for me and isn't really supporting my authority.

All this aside as it is only my opinion and parenting is tough enough at the best of times, it doesn't mean you shouldn't do anything, if your daughter was anything like me "talking" about it would have been the worst punishment possible.

virginiec

I felt it was important to back up the school in their disciplinary action-it was more the length of the detention which I thought was harsh.

I remember once at school, five of us decided to go and watch Wimbledon. Obviously the school twigged pretty easily as we were all really close. Three of the girls managed to convince their parents to write them a note. My parents thought I deserved whatever was coming to me.

Punishments were a lot more severe than a detention in those days.....

NKSK version 2

You dropped yourself in it with the comment relating the harshness of the punishment to the nature of the subject which she skipped.

You may have had more sympathetic comments if you'd simply said that 2 hours was a bit harsh for skipping school (although you wouldn't get any sympathy from me)

I reckon that most people with an ounce of common sense and an ounce of social responsibility would be supporting harsher not softer punishments given the problems caused by young people who don't show either respect for rules or an understanding of their responsibilities.

virginiec

Crikey, didn't realise that I was an trial as a parent here! My daughter is a well adjusted kid: I can think of far worse crimes than missing PE.

I am trying to empathise with my daughter, there are so many pressures on our kids these days...

NKSK version 2

Well, I'm afraid that when you start a thread with such an emotive subject - i.e. youth behaviour - you are quite likely to be judged given today's climate.

BTW, I actually don't believe that there are that many pressures on kids these days - especially in Australia - I'd be interested to see a list outlining what these pressures are.

I think about my father who was forced to leave school at 14, cycle 3 miles to the mine and then lead ponies for an 8 hour shift - that's what I call pressure at an age when most kids today are tucked up with their GameBoy and Facebook.

I reckon parents today are possibly more indulgent of their kids than ever before.

virginiec

You are probably correct- we mollycoddle our kids too much. Yep our kids are spoiled but our childhoods were probably be better

Our kids grow up much quicker these days-physically certainly. Mentally I'm not so sure...

NKSK version 2

I'm not so sure that they do grow up quicker.

The real danger as far as I can see is that kids have it far too easy today. The challenge for parents I reckon is to get their kids to realise that little of value comes easily. Many kids in my experience try to find the absolute easiest route through life (even if this brings lower rewards than an alternative route) - and this doesn't bode well for the future.

I'm not so sure that I have the answer (and I've had quite a difficult conversation with my 9 year old today) but I reckon setting challenges - whether these are emotional, physical or mental - for your child is a good thing.

tasmas

I would think that the school gave her detention for missing PE. Mum grounded her for lying. 2 issues isn't it? Both punishments adequate in my opinion.

OP - don't worry about people judging you, you've started an emotive subject.

I'm sure your daughter knows she did wrong, and accepted the punishment. As long as she's learned from it, end of story.

Tracy

Blossom

So why are you complaining about a 2 hour detention?

biggy

as I said in a previous post if you feel it is OK for your daughter to skip PE then give her a note excuising her, then there will be no problem.

The reason the school has been so harsh is to try and teach your daughter, that when she is supposed to be at school she should be there, and it is on the school to make sure she is there. If something was to happen to her whilst waggin school, Im sure your first port of call would be the school, asking why she was not there

reallyhappy

Speaking as a former truant myself (ahem ) perhaps you could also remind her of the risks that if anything happened to her you wouldn't know she was missing for several hours?

I think it's all too easy for kids to be trusting.

Good on you for grounding her too!

virginiec

I haven't heard the word truant in years, makes me think of kids going to borstal etc

Think the grounding is a punisment for me today. I've had enough of a stroppy adolescent mooching around the house..