bundy

I think my GP forgets that we knew my mum's cancer was terminal when it was diagnosed and therefore had two years to deal with it. We did, in effect, grieve for much of those two years. The hospice staff were so amazing - truly amazing - at getting us to talk and think about how we were feeling that I feel like I've done my grieving. I cry when I need to, and I feel happy too when I think about mum. There's a sense of emptiness and I miss her very much indeed. But I don't think I'm sitting on my grief...I just think I've dealt with it in different ways.

And then there's the fact that when I went for pre-bereavement counselling ( ) they told me that I was basically uncounsellable, if that makes sense, because I'm highly analytical, very self-aware, not in any denial and totally in control of my emotions. Basically, the problems I had were practical (at the time, mum's illness, dad's breakdown, my impending redundancy, the break up with Mr B etc etc and now, well, mum's death). The problems are still practical so I deal with them practically, by talking about them with family and friends and allowing myself to feel sad.

But hey-ho. I'm sure it won't do any harm to go to the counsellor and just check that I'm not, in fact, living a life of total denial!

BTW - I've got a place on the Great North Run and will be running for mum's hospice cos I promised I would. See, doing something practical yet again

Wendy

It was the same for me as my Mum had terminal cancer for over a year aswell, so I can relate to what you are saying. There is times even now that I think of her and feel really sad (she died August 2004) and others where I sit and giggle at the silly things she did or said.

I think you are doing fine and sounds to me like you are enjoying life. I'm sure that's what your Mum would have wanted.

bundy

...sometimes I feel secretly jealous that I can seem to bring myself to wallow in self-pity, wail and howl and be bloodyminded, lose 6 stone and look distracted...

Simone

Sounds like you're coping just fine, for your situation! (well, according to what I've learned from tv )
Geez, and how long does the 'bad luck' have to go on for!! Hope your brother gets a job soon!

So how is your job going? Is it going anywhere?
Not sure about mine at the moment, though it's going to look much better on my resume than 'receptionist', and I'll be able to get something better in a year or so.


Well, 4/5 hours away from the baby, that's nothing for you after living in Nundle!! Good stuff!

Ohhh, good luck with the run! Are you training for it? (it sounds like it's some sort of marathon?)

Simone

6 stone! I have no idea how many kilos that is, I just know it's plenty, and you were already thin. Right, it's dinner time for you now isn't it? STEP AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER AND GO AND EAT. AND HAVE A BIG DESSERT.

bundy

Well the six stone thing was a bit of an exaggeration, but it's the principle that counts....

Counselling session proved that I am not, in fact, nuts. Just mildly depressed (!!!) and suffering from nervous anxiety. In other words, I worry to much, about too many things and too many people. And with my family history of OCD, panic disorder, social anxiety (and that's just my dad!), I'm being referred for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to stop me winding myself up.

Now I'm worried about that

Grayling

I do CBT for a living
If you want any information just ask.

G

Desdemona

Lovely to see you G Ah Bundy good to hear you dealing with your loss. Just take care ok?

bundy

Ah yes, so you do. I remember now.

I've been given vast chapters of Mind Over Mood to read. Bound to have questions after that....

How are you G? Long time, no hear (although clearly I've been in hiding for a while now )

Grayling

Im Ok thanks.

Sorry about all your bad news.

I don't pop in all that often now....far too busy

Have a look here:

http://www.babcp.org.uk/

G

bundy

Thanks G, you're a star.

My dad's been having CBT for the last year now and it's done wonders for him, so I know it works. I'm being open-minded - I didn't think I was that bad.

Grayling

Prevention is better than cure

G

bundy

Very true. And I doubt I'm the best qualified person to judge my own mental state.

Oooh, a world without worrying. I won't know what to do with myself.

Grayling

Nothing wrong with worrying....it is a natural process.

It's what you worry about that matters.

G

bundy

Bl*ody everything.

I even worry that I'm not worrying if I don't have anything to worry about...