Pomster

We have been back in UK for 5 months. It was never a return for family (work driven) but while we were here, we hoped that family would make time for us....given the discussions had prior to our venture! There was much talk of having our 3 year old for weekends and getting to know her, as she is the only one under 20 in our family.

The one pre-arranged babysitting evening was blown out at the last minute as something better came up for my sister.
Before Christmas Day I realised that my sister had only seen my daughter once in 9 weeks- when we drove over to her, despite me trying to arrange other numerous other get togethers.
Being realistic, I know we have been away a long time and family have their own lives, but it is sadly disappointing given all the excitement about our return.

Now a big falling out has occurred as a relative made a bigoted comment about non-whites (and Mr P who is slightly differently hued was sitting there). We said it was out of order and got the 'oh but we did not mean him- just all the others". Just really over family.

Sorry about the big vent but family connections in UK are not all they are cracked up to be for all those of you dreaming of a family Christmas in UK.

carolinephillips

People always expect you to be doing the running about and changing. They are stuck in their cosy rut and not willing to make the effort.

Pomster

too true.

They all say things like 'you are brave migrating'...then won't even drive across a city to see you!

Pah to rose coloured glasses and families.

ozzieeagle

Stick with your friends As they are the ones you have the really good times with.

When are you coming back home

carolinephillips

Yup- you can choose your friends, but are stuck with your family. Don't let their lack of thoughtfulness upset you, rise above it and find nicer things to do.

Pomster

our plan to return was after Christmas next year (in time for daughter to start prep/spend another Christmas with family)...but we are a bit flaky on timing and it may be sooner rather than later!

And we will be moving to our place in Pascoe Vale, so we will be sort of neighbours OE.

ozzieeagle

Nice one I'd avoid coming back in the Melbourne Winter though... not much fun having two winters in a row.

I lived in two addresses in PV before this place. 1 Fawkner Rd... on the Corner of Northumberland and Fawkner... then moved to Sims St.

Catch you soon

Pomster

I think the excitement of our return - with a small child- lasted all of 2 months.

Perhaps sticking to a standard holiday is the better option for future, although have to say family are far more appealing from the other side of the world.
Listening to the constant family dramas is so much easier when over the phone, rather than in person when you cannot hang up/have to go to work/bed/deal with small child...

RedT

I have to laugh when my mother gets all arsey about us moving and saying she'll never see us again! (we're not emigrating in the 40's!!). They haven't been to see us in London for over two years, the in-laws have NEVER been to London in the ten years we've lived here yet they're talking about coming to stay in Australia.

I learned from my sister coming home from the US every christmas that the novelty wears off very quickly and in fact, family often resented the fact that she was 'living it up' in California while they were left behind in ireland somehow. So if nothing else it's taught us both not to have any illusions about being home, but it's a hard lesson to learn.

Tx

Petals

Family we cannot choose them like we choose our friends

Our family in UK never visited us, never phoned us, never wrote to us, it was always us doing the running.

My brother lives in Upper Beaconsfield and I have not seen him for two years we have not fallen out just paths do not seem to cross. Hope I recognise him next time I see him

moneypenny20

We got the 'oh but we'll never see you again' - we only lived about five minutes from everyone before and rarely saw the mother - thankfully. No one has ever suggested they come over, oh tell a lie, my sister was coming with a daughter and picking up the other daughter in Bangkok on the way but then decided to go to NY instead My nephew came over and spent three weeks in Surfers - we didn't find out until he'd got back home We broke the bank going back a few years ago for a couple of weeks and had to drive here there and everywhere because no one could get off their arses to drive for five minutes . I get asked every christmas why we haven't flown back to see them.

We then get constant phone calls saying how much they miss us. Yeah right!

Sally Redux

I have come to realize this. I wouldn't go back for family reasons now.

My sympathies.

papilon

Nothing new really, just common sense, would be the same if you reversed the roles. Unless you are a very close family and always have been this will happen. Anglo's the world over have lost there close family bonds. Bit different for the southern europeans and other cultures.

ozzieeagle

I was talking to my Father yesterday and he was reminiscing to me how my Grandmather maRIA Fenn (prounounced Finn) of Hackney could count over 1,000 relations. Sounds like we've lost of lot of contact over the TV and media age.

papilon

Wow 1000 relations and they probably lived within a short distance from each other. Guess there are many reasons. Increased wealth bringing independence, cars and transport, welfare system allowing elderly parents to be cared for instead of being looked after by family. Increasing house prices forcing people to move area. Becoming a more selfish society.