Really bad news
Apr 26th 2006, 12:30 am
#31
Account Closed
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 10,158
Re: Really bad news
Hi Nicky
So sorry to hear this. I am sure that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing.
If it does look terminal, (And I'm sorry to bring it up) then please consider a hospice. A dignified parting for all concerned, with compassionate people to help you all out.
Take care.
x
So sorry to hear this. I am sure that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing.
If it does look terminal, (And I'm sorry to bring it up) then please consider a hospice. A dignified parting for all concerned, with compassionate people to help you all out.
Take care.
x
Apr 26th 2006, 12:33 am
#32
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Jul 2005
Location: perth
Posts: 455
Re: Really bad news
Really, really sorry to read about your father-in-law. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in Feb, and had a macestomy 6 weeks ago, she started chemo yesterday. It is really difficult to get your head around things, I have tried to stay bright for my three sons, they know Nanny is poorly but we have all tried to stay positive about it.
Stay strong-
You are all in my thoughts.
God Bless
Sharon.xx
Stay strong-
You are all in my thoughts.
God Bless
Sharon.xx
Apr 26th 2006, 12:52 am
#33
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Eldorado (near Wangaratta) 'country Victoria'
Posts: 1,451
Re: Really bad news
Originally Posted by pioneer
Really, really sorry to read about your father-in-law. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer in Feb, and had a macestomy 6 weeks ago, she started chemo yesterday. It is really difficult to get your head around things, I have tried to stay bright for my three sons, they know Nanny is poorly but we have all tried to stay positive about it.
Stay strong-
You are all in my thoughts.
God Bless
Sharon.xx
Stay strong-
You are all in my thoughts.
God Bless
Sharon.xx
All the best.
Nicky
Apr 26th 2006, 12:59 am
#34
BE Forum Addict
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Eldorado (near Wangaratta) 'country Victoria'
Posts: 1,451
Re: Really bad news
Originally Posted by iPom
Hi Nicky
So sorry to hear this. I am sure that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing.
If it does look terminal, (And I'm sorry to bring it up) then please consider a hospice. A dignified parting for all concerned, with compassionate people to help you all out.
Take care.
x
So sorry to hear this. I am sure that whatever you decide to do will be the right thing.
If it does look terminal, (And I'm sorry to bring it up) then please consider a hospice. A dignified parting for all concerned, with compassionate people to help you all out.
Take care.
x
.Ian and I will have no real input into his dad's care though as his Mom is still there and his brother and sisters all live locally. I don't mean that to sound like we don't care it is just that I know that they will ensure that he gets the best possible treatment and hopefully will follow his wishes. The people in hospices are saints and I would much rather think of him ending his days there than in a hospital room.
Nicky
Apr 26th 2006, 1:14 am
#35
BE Enthusiast
Joined: May 2005
Location: Coventry to Ocean Reef,WA
Posts: 634
Re: Really bad news
Originally Posted by NickyP
We have just been told that Ian's Dad has cancer and is unlikely to respond to treatment. We knew that he was having a biopsy yesterday and got the news straight away. Ian is in Bristol at the moment with work (timing is pretty spooky) so will get to see them but he sounded awful on the phone. We knew that these sorts of things would happen at some point but when it happens to the family member who is most fit and most unlikely to have any problems it knocks you.
Ian can stay longer if he needs to but I am not sure if he will be able to cope with that as everything is so raw at the moment. So it is time to check out the reality of flights back for a trip as a whole family later as I am not sure if we will manage it financially. I have told the kids and it will hit our 11 year old hardest I expect she is old enough to have some idea of the finality of it and is very close to Ian's parents.
Hard as it is being here at the moment the hardest thing is being away from Ian when he needs the support.
Sorry to be so depressing.
Nicky
Ian can stay longer if he needs to but I am not sure if he will be able to cope with that as everything is so raw at the moment. So it is time to check out the reality of flights back for a trip as a whole family later as I am not sure if we will manage it financially. I have told the kids and it will hit our 11 year old hardest I expect she is old enough to have some idea of the finality of it and is very close to Ian's parents.
Hard as it is being here at the moment the hardest thing is being away from Ian when he needs the support.
Sorry to be so depressing.
Nicky
So sorry to hear your awful news,Our thoughts are with you
Jo
Apr 26th 2006, 4:52 am
#36
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: Really bad news
Originally Posted by NickyP
We have just been told that Ian's Dad has cancer and is unlikely to respond to treatment. We knew that he was having a biopsy yesterday and got the news straight away. Ian is in Bristol at the moment with work (timing is pretty spooky) so will get to see them but he sounded awful on the phone. We knew that these sorts of things would happen at some point but when it happens to the family member who is most fit and most unlikely to have any problems it knocks you.
Ian can stay longer if he needs to but I am not sure if he will be able to cope with that as everything is so raw at the moment. So it is time to check out the reality of flights back for a trip as a whole family later as I am not sure if we will manage it financially. I have told the kids and it will hit our 11 year old hardest I expect she is old enough to have some idea of the finality of it and is very close to Ian's parents.
Hard as it is being here at the moment the hardest thing is being away from Ian when he needs the support.
Sorry to be so depressing.
Nicky
Ian can stay longer if he needs to but I am not sure if he will be able to cope with that as everything is so raw at the moment. So it is time to check out the reality of flights back for a trip as a whole family later as I am not sure if we will manage it financially. I have told the kids and it will hit our 11 year old hardest I expect she is old enough to have some idea of the finality of it and is very close to Ian's parents.
Hard as it is being here at the moment the hardest thing is being away from Ian when he needs the support.
Sorry to be so depressing.
Nicky
As one who was in a similar situation over the last couple of years, let me take this chance to bundle up all the support, advice, wise words and hugs people on this forum gave me and pass it over to you and Ian.
Raw is one words, bombshell is another, and no one can say anything much to make the situation any better. So, for now, know that lots of people will be thinking of you and yours and that can help in some little way.
Good luck, and take care of yourselves,
Bundy
Apr 26th 2006, 4:59 am
#37
She's a bird, you know
Joined: Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 7,655
Re: Really bad news
Originally Posted by NickyP
It is terminal as far as I know, it is just a matter of when not if .
Ian and I will have no real input into his dad's care though as his Mom is still there and his brother and sisters all live locally. I don't mean that to sound like we don't care it is just that I know that they will ensure that he gets the best possible treatment and hopefully will follow his wishes. The people in hospices are saints and I would much rather think of him ending his days there than in a hospital room.
Nicky
.Ian and I will have no real input into his dad's care though as his Mom is still there and his brother and sisters all live locally. I don't mean that to sound like we don't care it is just that I know that they will ensure that he gets the best possible treatment and hopefully will follow his wishes. The people in hospices are saints and I would much rather think of him ending his days there than in a hospital room.
Nicky
And to reiterate what Sam (Professional Princess) has said, time with someone who is sick is so very precious. I gave up a lot to be with my mum - my relationship, my dreams, my job, my financial situation - but I wouldn't ask for any of it back, because being with my mum as much as I was able was so important to me, and has made the aftermath so much easier to bear. The way I looked at it was that this was 2 years in the whole of my life - I'd have given 10 times that to spend such quality time with mum.
The hospice actually ran a study on our family because we were all so involved (often 5 or 6 of us traipsing in to see the consultant etc
) and they believed that it had a fundamental impact on mum's attitude and ability to cope with her condition.
