Oops!

Old Mar 1st 2006, 6:36 pm
  #1  
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Default Oops!

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could take the words back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are the testimonials of a few people who did....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the

boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the

boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.

5. Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that

Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just

KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing! He calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

6. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely

think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story... We had a female news anchor who, the day

after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me

last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!

Now, didn't that feel good? Pass it on to someone you know who needs a good laugh. DON'T TAKE LIFE TOO SERIOUSLY . . . YOU WON'T MAKE IT OUT ALIVE ANYWAY.
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Old Mar 1st 2006, 7:10 pm
  #2  
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Default Re: Oops!

Keep 'em comin'!!! These are keeping me and my colleages very entertained!!
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Old Mar 2nd 2006, 6:49 am
  #3  
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Default Re: Oops!

Originally Posted by Rachelle
Keep 'em comin'!!! These are keeping me and my colleages very entertained!!
I'm glad someONE liked it
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Old Mar 2nd 2006, 1:53 pm
  #4  
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Default Re: Oops!

Originally Posted by Suni&Jay
I'm glad someONE liked it

I liked it too
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