The Official Barbie Joke Thread! (NOT CHILD FRIENDLY)
#91
Re: Another Blonde Joke
There seems to be too much Slagging off on here, so I try to brighten things up!
Please feel free to send Karma
Suni.
#92
Dangerous Sports
ANOTHER OLD ONE!
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird
section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and
asks if he can help them.
"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,"
says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into
Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says,
"Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the box, puts
one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the
bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best
pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, "Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too
fook'n dangerous for me!"
THERE'S MORE...
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop
too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Paddy, watch dis," Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself
over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down,
Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting
either!"
IT'S NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean
appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box
out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs
and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits
a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry
with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... and now Sean and his
fook'n hengliding!"
Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird
section and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem." The owner comes over and
asks if he can help them.
"Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,"
says Gerry. The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box.
Paddy and Gerry pay for the birds, leave the shop and get into
Gerry's truck to drive to the top of the Connor Pass.
At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop and says,
"Dis looks like a grand place." He takes two birds out of the box, puts
one on each shoulder and jumps off the cliff.
Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the
bottom, killing himself stone dead. Looking down at the remains of his best
pal, Paddy shakes his head and says, "Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too
fook'n dangerous for me!"
THERE'S MORE...
Moment's later; Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet shop
too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box in one hand and a shotgun in the other. "Hi, Paddy, watch dis," Seamus says.
He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws himself
over the edge of the cliff with the gun. Paddy watches as half way down,
Seamus takes the gun and shoots the parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body.
Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting
either!"
IT'S NOT OVER YET...
Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean
appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box
out of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs
and hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits
a rock and breaks his spine.
Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry
with his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting... and now Sean and his
fook'n hengliding!"
#93
#94
Account Closed
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 2,832
A Professor ...
A professor at the University of Kentucky was giving a lecture on the supernatural. To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?" About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Bubba replied, "Shiiiit! From way back thar ...
I THOUGHT YOU SAID "GOATS."
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those of you who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
"That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Bubba raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses, and says "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience."
The big redneck student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium. When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Bubba, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Bubba replied, "Shiiiit! From way back thar ...
I THOUGHT YOU SAID "GOATS."
#95
#96
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
A Friday Titter
A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window. The bee said, "What seems to be the problem?"
"I'm out of gas."
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank?"
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The bee answered, "BP."
"I'm out of gas."
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out. "Try it now," said one bee.
The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. "Wow!" the man exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank?"
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The bee answered, "BP."
#99
#100
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 7,834
Re: A Friday Titter
38 people viewed and only 3 replied....well I think its funny as lol
#101
Re: A Friday Titter
yep i find that strange sometimes - i notice how many view other threads and yet there are hardly any responses - maybe they just take what they want and need and then just move on - without time to lurk like some of us other poor unfortunate souls
#102
#104
Re: A Friday Titter
It's just as well really or people might think I'm on here all the time