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Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
I’m having a rant about our neighbour and was just wondering what you would have done or your thoughts.
Basically what happened on Christmas Day was that my cousin was trying to Parallel Park between two cars and instead of putting her car into drive she reversed and hit the neighbour’s car. The neighbour was sitting in her car in the middle of the road and my cousin said that before she was trying to reverse the neighbour was shouting something at her out of her driver’s window. I also believe our neighbour was being quite aggressive and was close to her not letting her park which could be true as my cousin was trying to park in front of the neighbours Ute. Also when you think about it when you park between two cars you normally line up beside the first car to reverse in so how close was my neighbour to my cousin’s car? Anyway, we didn’t go outside after it happened as my neighbour had driven off and thought it had nothing to do with us as we weren’t the ones who hit her car. No damage was done but my neighbours did threaten to call the police at the time. We didn’t want a big fight in the street as my neighbour can be quite aggressive and my cousin also. We noticed that since the accident our neighbours have been ignoring us so my husband asked what was wrong. They said that we had missed our chance as we didn’t knock the following day with regards to the accident as my cousin was our guest. Maybe we should have knocked but my husband told them we felt embarrassed and that we weren’t the ones that hit their car so thought best to stay out of it especially as no damage was done anyway. They started carrying on about how they have witnesses but yet when we asked our neighbour for her version of what happened she wouldn’t tell us. I think this is because she was also in the wrong and being aggressive but we don’t want to bring it up. So anyway, do you think they are just being a bit childish by refusing to talk to us about something that we didn’t even do? I’m so annoyed with my cousin but it was an accident, no damage was done. To be told we had missed our chance and my husband wouldn’t have even mentioned anything if it wasn’t for the fact they were blatantly ignoring us. If it was me, after the chat they had with my husband I would have said ok, let’s forget about it and move on but they aren’t. They don’t want to talk to us. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Did you witness the accident? If not, you only have your cousin's word about what happened, and with the best will in the world, your cousin would have put her own actions in the best light.
I would have gone round the following day with a box of choccies/bottle of wine and apologised. As host, you have a responsibility, whether it was your action or someone elses who was a guest in your house, and, let's face it, you also have to live next door to these people so it is better to mend fences than put up barriers. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by carolinephillips
(Post 10455962)
Did you witness the accident? If not, you only have your cousin's word about what happened, and with the best will in the world, your cousin would have put her own actions in the best light.
I would have gone round the following day with a box of choccies/bottle of wine and apologised. As host, you have a responsibility, whether it was your action or someone elses who was a guest in your house, and, let's face it, you also have to live next door to these people so it is better to mend fences than put up barriers. We didn't witness it. We didn't knock which probably was a mistake but its probably too late now and what else can we do. Still send some flowers? |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
There was no damage to it? Not a single scratch?
You say you didn't witness the accident and that the neighbor drove off... How do you KNOW their car wasn't damaged in ANY way? Did they tell you.. ? |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by eddie007
(Post 10455992)
There was no damage to it? Not a single scratch?
You say you didn't witness the accident and that the neighbor drove off... How do you KNOW their car wasn't damaged in ANY way? Did they tell you.. ? My cousin took photos of their bumper. I saw the neighbour driving off just as I got to the front door, it all happened while I was inside and didn't hear a thing. My cousin knocked after the incident. I think the neighbour also said there wasn't any damage when my husband spoke to them but I would have to double check. Of course my cousin would be giving me her side of the story but the neighbour is refusing to tell me hers. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
I guess the thing to do now is move forward and buy some flowers to say sorry. I hate all this and never know what to do for the best at the time and then regret what I should have done.
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Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Probably best to have gone over to apologise on behalf of your cousin. Your guests are your responsibility so feeling embarrassed is not really a good enough reason to not have done so. It was your cousin who bumped your neighbours car after all, they are bound to be annoyed as would anyone. A knock on the door and a bottle of wine probably would have avoided any future problems.
There is also no use in speculating over who said what and positioning of cars as you didn't witness it. I don't think they are being childish, they are probably just angry. Leave it a few days for the dust to settle and then go over and talk to them. To be honest to say it's nothing to do with you is not technically correct as it was someone from your household who hit their car. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10455997)
My cousin took photos of their bumper. I saw the neighbour driving off just as I got to the front door, it all happened while I was inside and didn't hear a thing. My cousin knocked after the incident.
I think the neighbour also said there wasn't any damage when my husband spoke to them but I would have to double check. Of course my cousin would be giving me her side of the story but the neighbour is refusing to tell me hers. If you were on judge Judy I'd be asking your cousin to step up to the board and show me exactly where she was... Where the other car was... And which direction the neighbor was traveling in.... I can't remember anywhere reading that a moving vehicle on the highway had to give way to a vehicle trying to reverse into a parking spot.... And really you should be apportioning blame where it is due. your cousin was aware of the vehicle, she should have stopped and waited for it to pass.... And any way... You make way too many assumptions, when you have NO idea what really happened... Because you didn't see or hear anything This story gets stranger and stranger.... As for the flowers... If you are going to do the flowers thing... Dont "send" them... Take them round in person. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Pom_Chch
(Post 10456016)
Probably best to have gone over to apologise on behalf of your cousin. Your guests are your responsibility so feeling embarrassed is not really a good enough reason to not have done so. It was your cousin who bumped your neighbours car after all, they are bound to be annoyed as would anyone. A knock on the door and a bottle of wine probably would have avoided any future problems.
There is also no use in speculating over who said what and positioning of cars as you didn't witness it. I don't think they are being childish, they are probably just angry. Leave it a few days for the dust to settle and then go over and talk to them. To be honest to say it's nothing to do with you is not technically correct as it was someone from your household who hit their car. Probably was best but we didn't so now I don't know what to do. I'm not going to speculate and tell her what my cousin said and what she said etc etc Just wondering if I should now buy some flowers or something today. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10456019)
Probably was best but we didn't so now I don't know what to do. I'm not going to speculate and tell her what my cousin said and what she said etc etc
Just wondering if I should now buy some flowers or something today. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by eddie007
(Post 10456017)
Sorry... She took photos of their bumper?
If you were on judge Judy I'd be asking your cousin to step up to the board and show me exactly where she was... Where the other car was... And which direction the neighbor was traveling in.... I can't remember anywhere reading that a moving vehicle on the highway had to give way to a vehicle trying to reverse into a parking spot.... And really you should be apportioning blame where it is due. your cousin was aware of the vehicle, she should have stopped and waited for it to pass.... And any way... You make way too many assumptions, when you have NO idea what really happened... Because you didn't see or hear anything This story gets stranger and stranger.... As for the flowers... If you are going to do the flowers thing... Dont "send" them... Take them round in person. She did take photos. I know the neighbour wouldn't have been able to pass my cousin as there were parked cars on either side of the road. And I don't want to go by what my cousin says either. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by eddie007
(Post 10456017)
As for the flowers... If you are going to do the flowers thing... Dont "send" them... Take them round in person.
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Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
You could take flowers over but people can be difficult and hold a grudge anyway. I'd not bring flowers over and just continue to be polite with them. If you see them washing their car or something, try and strike up a conversation. You'll eventually wear them down.
I think it's funny that they say 'you missed your chance'. If there was no damage to their car, then they really shouldn't be so angry about it. Some people think the world revolves around them. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by knockoff nige
(Post 10456036)
You could take flowers over but people can be difficult and hold a grudge anyway. I'd not bring flowers over and just continue to be polite with them. If you see them washing their car or something, try and strike up a conversation. You'll eventually wear them down.
I think it's funny that they say 'you missed your chance'. If there was no damage to their car, then they really shouldn't be so angry about it. Some people think the world revolves around them. If I do buy flowers then I would take them in person but I do feel like they would hold a grudge against us as they are very odd people anyway. I know we did wrong but I don't want a rift between us and want to try and make it right. They are angry with us for not knocking the day after. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10456043)
If I do buy flowers then I would take them in person but I do feel like they would hold a grudge against us as they are very odd people anyway.
I know we did wrong but I don't want a rift between us and want to try and make it right. They are angry with us for not knocking the day after. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by eddie007
(Post 10456057)
Do you need "odd" and aggressive people in yournlife? or do you need to move on? (figuratively not literally)
Australians, in my opinion, are friendly and helpful along with being a bit hot tempered sometimes. Your way back in might be through your OH and the neighbours husband. Women hold grudges better than dams hold water. No offence :p |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by knockoff nige
(Post 10456064)
I think they should try and find peace with their neighbour as they live next door and they might have a use for friendly neighbours. But, I wouldnt recommend crawling to their doorstep with flowers.
Australians, in my opinion, are friendly and helpful along with being a bit hot tempered sometimes. Your way back in might be through your OH and the neighbours husband. Women hold grudges better than dams hold water. No offence :p Ha ha, true. I'm not one to hold a grudge myself as I prefer to forget. Oh, I don't know what to do now. My neighbour isn't Australian, she is Eastern European. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10456072)
Ha ha, true. I'm not one to hold a grudge myself as I prefer to forget. Oh, I don't know what to do now. My neighbour isn't Australian, she is Eastern European.
Totally unoffended bybthe women bearing a grudge comment.... Notice that with kids... Boys... Argue, fisticuffs, best friends Girls... Argue, silence, bitching to anyone who will listen ....and then all of a sudden one will rock up at the others funeral aged 90 and spit on the grave... |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by eddie007
(Post 10456081)
Girls... Argue, silence, bitching to anyone who will listen ....and then all of a sudden one will rock up at the others funeral aged 90 and spit on the grave...
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Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10456043)
If I do buy flowers then I would take them in person but I do feel like they would hold a grudge against us as they are very odd people anyway.
I know we did wrong but I don't want a rift between us and want to try and make it right. They are angry with us for not knocking the day after. As others have said, you could sent a token gesture flowers, chocs, but sometimes people like that are too stubborn to accept the gesture sincerely - kind of like they were admitting they were wrong to be behaving so pathetically, then use that as a reason to carry on the feud (twisted, huh). If they don't want to speak, maybe try a to-the-point note without being rude perhaps "look I've said you were right, I've apologised, I can do no more. Shake & make up?". If they want to ignore you or avoid you, oh well. I agree with the 'carry on' advice - just be normal with them, give them no reason to bitch about you. NYE might be a shake & make up opportunity - just pop over & wish them happy new year? |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10455954)
I’m having a rant about our neighbour and was just wondering what you would have done or your thoughts.
Basically what happened on Christmas Day was that my cousin was trying to Parallel Park between two cars and instead of putting her car into drive she reversed and hit the neighbour’s car. The neighbour was sitting in her car in the middle of the road and my cousin said that before she was trying to reverse the neighbour was shouting something at her out of her driver’s window. I also believe our neighbour was being quite aggressive and was close to her not letting her park which could be true as my cousin was trying to park in front of the neighbours Ute. Also when you think about it when you park between two cars you normally line up beside the first car to reverse in so how close was my neighbour to my cousin’s car? Anyway, we didn’t go outside after it happened as my neighbour had driven off and thought it had nothing to do with us as we weren’t the ones who hit her car. No damage was done but my neighbours did threaten to call the police at the time. We didn’t want a big fight in the street as my neighbour can be quite aggressive and my cousin also. We noticed that since the accident our neighbours have been ignoring us so my husband asked what was wrong. They said that we had missed our chance as we didn’t knock the following day with regards to the accident as my cousin was our guest. Maybe we should have knocked but my husband told them we felt embarrassed and that we weren’t the ones that hit their car so thought best to stay out of it especially as no damage was done anyway. They started carrying on about how they have witnesses but yet when we asked our neighbour for her version of what happened she wouldn’t tell us. I think this is because she was also in the wrong and being aggressive but we don’t want to bring it up. So anyway, do you think they are just being a bit childish by refusing to talk to us about something that we didn’t even do? I’m so annoyed with my cousin but it was an accident, no damage was done. To be told we had missed our chance and my husband wouldn’t have even mentioned anything if it wasn’t for the fact they were blatantly ignoring us. If it was me, after the chat they had with my husband I would have said ok, let’s forget about it and move on but they aren’t. They don’t want to talk to us. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by sammax
(Post 10456215)
Personally I think you should have gone to apologize. Let the dust settle a bit and drop round a nice note with a present. If they still ignore you, there's not much else you can do, but they didn't sound like nice neighbours anyway, from what you say.
I have just been knocking at their door with flowers. They are in as the garage door is open and their car is there. I knocked a few times and tried ringing but they are not answering. She probably saw me coming up the drive. I left them on their internal garage steps with a note in the end. I'm not spending all day knocking. I apologised for not knocking sooner and asked if we can move on. The way they are behaving I doubt it. I can't do any more. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10456244)
I have just been knocking at their door with flowers. They are in as the garage door is open and their car is there. I knocked a few times and tried ringing but they are not answering. She probably saw me coming up the drive.
I left them on their internal garage steps with a note in the end. I'm not spending all day knocking. I apologised for not knocking sooner and asked if we can move on. The way they are behaving I doubt it. I can't do any more. |
Update
I said in my note about moving on and just received a text from the neighbour thanking me for the lovely flowers and yes, to move on.
Thank you every one, a lesson learned from us. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by Molko1974
(Post 10456248)
I'll probably get told off for trespassing into their garage :o
Sorry... The text... She's telling you she wants you to move on!!! Thats A thinly veiled request for you to sell up and leave:rofl: |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
Originally Posted by eddie007
(Post 10456257)
Or have the rangers round, after being accused of dumping your garden waste on theirbproperty:D
Sorry... The text... She's telling you she wants you to move on!!! Thats A thinly veiled request for you to sell up and leave:rofl: No sorry, she actually put, yes lets move on. BUT I have since found out from my cousins mum as we told her about what happened, literally 5 minutes ago she sent a message to say there is $1000 worth of damage to their car and they have been fighting over the phone. My cousin told us there was no damage, why lie! Now this is the first we are aware of this so do we say to the neighbours if there is anything we can do let us know as we didn't know this was going on? It gets worse. |
Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
I wouldn't do any more. The accident is between your cousin and neighbour now and I personally would try and stay out of it as you did not witness the bump or any damage that there may or may not have been. You still have to live there x
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Re: Neighbour Rant - Christmas Day accident
I wouldn't be inviting the cousin round again for a long time, that way you can avoid the situation becoming worse and in the meantime keep trying to repair the relationship. You live there and your cousin doesn't and if your cousin is prone to losing their temper then do you really want them in your property thus risking further inflammatory situations.
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