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Need "personal" advice

Need "personal" advice

Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:10 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by haunted View Post
From one set of bollocks to another...

Where are you on Eastenders? I've lost track but watched it this week and am lost.
The plumber came round to fix Dot Cotton's taps and all his clothes fell off and he mounted Dot on the worktop whilst shouting out rude stuff in German.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:11 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by kporte View Post
The plumber came round to fix Dot Cotton's taps and all his clothes fell off and he mounted Dot on the worktop whilst shouting out rude stuff in German.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:15 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by kporte View Post
The plumber came round to fix Dot Cotton's taps and all his clothes fell off and he mounted Dot on the worktop whilst shouting out rude stuff in German.
oh blimey, when someone says I'll lend ya my Eastenders tape, you need to watch yer self Kporte... German verbalisation of "Mr Popodopulous, the machines need servicing" means something quite different in BBC terms..

**nods wisely**

Em x
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:16 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by emelems View Post
oh blimey, when someone says I'll lend ya my Eastenders tape, you need to watch yer self Kporte... German verbalisation of "Mr Popodopulous, the machines need servicing" means something quite different in BBC terms..

**nods wisely**

Em x
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:18 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by emelems View Post
oh blimey, when someone says I'll lend ya my Eastenders tape, you need to watch yer self Kporte... German verbalisation of "Mr Popodopulous, the machines need servicing" means something quite different in BBC terms..

**nods wisely**

Em x
Dot should be able to handle a heavy load....... knows how to remove stains too.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:20 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by verystormy View Post
I have a bit of a problem!

As some of you are aware i work away from home and called the wife last night who was VERY upset. Turns out she had gone through the computer and discovered i have looked at some "naughty" sites.

I think most guys do / have, but havent a clue what to say to her. Its not easy being stuck here talking over the phone.

Help please
Hmm, I am going to have to play devil's advocate on this and just ask whether you have looked at this from your wife's perspective. It's not just that you are looking at 'naughty' sites but how these sites make your average wife/housewife/mother feel about themselves. The women on these sites aren't real - (between make-up, plastic surgery & airbrushing) and no-one feels sexy when they yelling at kids, trying to cook dinner, trying to get the vacuuming done, probably working outside the home too. I am not trying to lecture, honestly, just something worth thinking about. I really don't think threatening her with comments about "it's this or me having an affair" (as others have recommended) are going to help).
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:23 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Shellfish View Post
Hmm, I am going to have to play devil's advocate on this and just ask whether you have looked at this from your wife's perspective. It's not just that you are looking at 'naughty' sites but how these sites make your average wife/housewife/mother feel about themselves. The women on these sites aren't real - (between make-up, plastic surgery & airbrushing) and no-one feels sexy when they yelling at kids, trying to cook dinner, trying to get the vacuuming done, probably working outside the home too. I am not trying to lecture, honestly, just something worth thinking about. I really don't think threatening her with comments about "it's this or me having an affair" (as others have recommended) are going to help).
Yep
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:27 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Shellfish View Post
Hmm, I am going to have to play devil's advocate on this and just ask whether you have looked at this from your wife's perspective. It's not just that you are looking at 'naughty' sites but how these sites make your average wife/housewife/mother feel about themselves. The women on these sites aren't real - (between make-up, plastic surgery & airbrushing) and no-one feels sexy when they yelling at kids, trying to cook dinner, trying to get the vacuuming done, probably working outside the home too. I am not trying to lecture, honestly, just something worth thinking about. I really don't think threatening her with comments about "it's this or me having an affair" (as others have recommended) are going to help).
Good post and I have commented on just this aspect of porn too!!
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:42 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

I'm in the moral minority too. Porn on the internet especially CAN come from dubious sources. The thought of my partner watching women possibly coerced or forced into making these films makes me shudder. I am well aware that many women participate willingly but often their reasons for doing so and lives are horrendous.

I am assuming that the op was watching something 'mild' otherwise he wouldn't post about it. However there is also some pretty sick stuff out there.

Perhaps his partner is concerned that he is contributing to (at the worst) the sex trafficking trade and / or will progress to much 'harder' porn.

If my husband said he would watch porn or otherwise have an affair I'm afraid he would be out on his ear, he is obviously not the man I thought him to be.

I don't care if anyone thinks I'm some sort of bra burning feminist or old fashioned. It's about respect for yourself and others.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:46 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Shellfish View Post
The women on these sites aren't real - (between make-up, plastic surgery & airbrushing)
I didn't know that. This explains why the girls on those lesbian videos are nothing like the ones you meet in real life.
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 11:49 am
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Centurion View Post
We're blokes. If were not the internet, it would be a magazine, DVD, page 3, whatever.

Any guy who says he hasn't been there is a liar.
Who you calling a liar
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 1:11 pm
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Shellfish View Post
Hmm, I am going to have to play devil's advocate on this and just ask whether you have looked at this from your wife's perspective. It's not just that you are looking at 'naughty' sites but how these sites make your average wife/housewife/mother feel about themselves. The women on these sites aren't real - (between make-up, plastic surgery & airbrushing) and no-one feels sexy when they yelling at kids, trying to cook dinner, trying to get the vacuuming done, probably working outside the home too. I am not trying to lecture, honestly, just something worth thinking about. I really don't think threatening her with comments about "it's this or me having an affair" (as others have recommended) are going to help).
Yes good point well made. I realise it is common for men to look at these sites but I don't think telling your wife to either get over it or you will have an affair is conducive to a happy marriage. Many women do get upset about it and I don't think trying to make your wife feel bad because that is her perfectly understandable reaction would be a good tactic.

If I were in thi situation and my husband responded to my concerns in that way then I think he would be looking for new accommodation.

I am wondering how the average man would feel if they discovered that their wife had been regularly surfing sites like bigknobs dot com or something? (that was made up, I hope it does not really exist). Perhaps it would not be a problem, I am not sure.

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Old Apr 24th 2010, 1:42 pm
  #58  
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
Porn on the internet especially CAN come from dubious sources. .
As can many things in life. We don't always know how our meat is slaughtered mate but it doesn't stop us eating it. We try to make sure things are covered, but it's a fact of life. However there are NO exceptions regarding child porn. Child porn is totally unforgiveable as no child could have agreed to it

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
The thought of my partner watching women possibly coerced or forced into making these films makes me shudder. I am well aware that many women participate willingly but often their reasons for doing so and lives are horrendous. .
And there are lots of women who participate willingly. Fast buck, easy work. No different to prostitution. Even though incomprehensible to some of us, to some others it's not a moral issue to them at all.

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
I am assuming that the op was watching something 'mild' otherwise he wouldn't post about it. However there is also some pretty sick stuff out there. .
Yep agree. However I take the view if its adults participating and adults watchin, who am I to judge their personal choice

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
Perhaps his partner is concerned that he is contributing to (at the worst) the sex trafficking trade and / or will progress to much 'harder' porn..
Then she needs to talk about it with him.

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
If my husband said he would watch porn or otherwise have an affair I'm afraid he would be out on his ear, he is obviously not the man I thought him to be. ..
Affair is different to porn. With porn there is no real life attachment. It's another TV program

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
I don't care if anyone thinks I'm some sort of bra burning feminist or old fashioned. It's about respect for yourself and others.
It's your choice and opinion and your right to feel however you wish mate however just because someone watches porn, doesn't mean they don't respect themselves or others

Even if anyone thinks their man don't watch porn, you can bet your bottom dollar he is thinking about some sexy TV star when on the job at some time or another That's as normal to a man as is a ham shank
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 2:01 pm
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by sonlymewalter View Post
As can many things in life. We don't always know how our meat is slaughtered mate but it doesn't stop us eating it. We try to make sure things are covered, but it's a fact of life. However there are NO exceptions regarding child porn. Child porn is totally unforgiveable as no child could have agreed to it

So it's ok not to try and check where the stuff you are watching comes from?

You make the distinction about child porn. Well I assume you would say rape was also a line not be crossed and yet there is porn out there showing both adult and child rape.

I actually don't eat meat for the reason that I can't check where it has come from.



And there are lots of women who participate willingly. Fast buck, easy work. No different to prostitution. Even though incomprehensible to some of us, to some others it's not a moral issue to them at all.

I agree, absolutely fine, it's their choice but how can you watch something not knowing if the participants are willing? It is fairly safe to say some famous porn stars are willing but what about stuff you find on the internet on a dodgy site, you have no way to find out. That is what disturbs me that a man has so little regard for the life of the person he is wanking over.


Yep agree. However I take the view if its adults participating and adults watchin, who am I to judge their personal choice


Then she needs to talk about it with him.

I agree - she is probably thinking the worst.

Affair is different to porn. With porn there is no real life attachment. It's another TV program

I agree, but for someone to advise the op to say that to his wife.

It's your choice and opinion and your right to feel however you wish mate however just because someone watches porn, doesn't mean they don't respect themselves or others


Even if anyone thinks their man don't watch porn, you can bet your bottom dollar he is thinking about some sexy TV star when on the job at some time or another That's as normal to a man as is a ham shank
I agree but fantasies are harmless. No one gets raped making fantasies.

Funnily enough, I have no issues with people watching porn, I just wish the industry which makes it could be regulated. That's what I mean about respect, if people had more respect for each other they wouldn't participate in an activity which is known to exploit people (not just women).
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Old Apr 24th 2010, 2:52 pm
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Default Re: Need "personal" advice

Originally Posted by Fly Away View Post
.....I just wish the industry which makes it could be regulated. That's what I mean about respect, if people had more respect for each other they wouldn't participate in an activity which is known to exploit people (not just women).
I suspect the majority of porn watchers are good/decent people and the largest majority in these films are willing adults.

If everyone attempted to avoid exploitation we wouldn't eat or wear anything. China hasn't exactly got a great track record mate
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