Need "personal" advice
#151
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
I have not been 'favoured' at all in my divorce in any way, shape or form, nor has the father of my children been penalised in any way, shape or form.
From my 'point of view', I won nothing, other than experience and some good worthy lessons.
You could take more care telling people what their point of view is before being so liberal with your opinions! That's ****ing offensive.
I am not cynical about marriage because I still believe that it is a good thing that you *can* get right if you pick the right person as many of my friends have shown me is possible. I am not cynical about it because I still believe it's possible to be with someone in a monogamous relationship. Given I'm currently in a monogamous relationship, my belief is still that.
There are certainly people of both sexes who cannot cope with living alone. That doesn't mean marriage is necessarily the answer. .
#153
Re: Need "personal" advice
I am not cynical about marriage because I still believe that it is a good thing that you *can* get right if you pick the right person as many of my friends have shown me is possible. I am not cynical about it because I still believe it's possible to be with someone in a monogamous relationship. Given I'm currently in a monogamous relationship, my belief is still that.
#154
Re: Need "personal" advice
I think he was referring to the legalities of the de-facto relationship that is assumed after 6 months?
#155
Re: Need "personal" advice
Marriage is not a monogamous relationship. Marriage is a set of laws that force you to commit to one person for the whole of your life. These are two different things.
#156
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
'That is, two (2) people living together on a genuine domestic basis in a relationship based on intimacy, trust and personal commitment to each other'
Some people could argue that their entire relationship had none of the above and there was no such situation. It's been done before.
#157
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
Marriage *to me* means a monogamous relationship and in my opinion, changes the commitment that you make to that person. That's purely my opinion, regardless of what the law and you think it is.
#158
Re: Need "personal" advice
De facto is a sticky area that can be hard to prove.
'That is, two (2) people living together on a genuine domestic basis in a relationship based on intimacy, trust and personal commitment to each other'
Some people could argue that their entire relationship had none of the above and there was no such situation. It's been done before.
'That is, two (2) people living together on a genuine domestic basis in a relationship based on intimacy, trust and personal commitment to each other'
Some people could argue that their entire relationship had none of the above and there was no such situation. It's been done before.
The whole point is that there is nothing wrong with a relationship when it starts. But it's a shit fight when it ends.
#161
Re: Need "personal" advice
Why do we not have short term marriages? Let's have marriages that MUST end after 7 years, unless people write a new contract. That'd make them think. No other business contract within the law is based on the lifetime of the shortest lived partner.
#162
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
What if one person claims one thing and the other person claims something else?
The whole point is that there is nothing wrong with a relationship when it starts. But it's a shit fight when it ends.
After my marriage, I prefer to look at my three amazing and beautiful kids and remember all the really good times there were. Focussing on just the bad is pointless and a waste of energy. There was nothing wasted about that time. It was necessary.
#163
Re: Need "personal" advice
Who's defending themselves? I have many friends in a defacto relationship and they're totally fine with it.
Well that is the nature of the 'end' of things, is it not? Two people experience the same thing together yet each of their recollections are different. That is why we have courts to sort it all out for those who are incapable.
So to be safe, none of us should have a relationship just in case it breaks up?
After my marriage, I prefer to look at my three amazing and beautiful kids and remember all the really good times there were. Focussing on just the bad is pointless and a waste of energy. There was nothing wasted about that time. It was necessary.
Well that is the nature of the 'end' of things, is it not? Two people experience the same thing together yet each of their recollections are different. That is why we have courts to sort it all out for those who are incapable.
So to be safe, none of us should have a relationship just in case it breaks up?
After my marriage, I prefer to look at my three amazing and beautiful kids and remember all the really good times there were. Focussing on just the bad is pointless and a waste of energy. There was nothing wasted about that time. It was necessary.
#164
Re: Need "personal" advice
Surely the context in which TiddlyPom is placing herself is one where sex is only experienced with one partner at a time, during the union of marriage? There is another definition that states that monogamy is the practice of marring only once in life but I didn't think that Tiddly was referring to this one myself?
#165
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
I am not married, not to the father of my children, nor to my partner of now. I don't really therefore understand what you are trying to say.
If you mean marriage means commitment for life, I think that you may be surprised that many people who marry do not see it that way at all.
What was it I read the other day... some kid wanted huge dress and stuff for formal... Mother says 'It's not like you're getting married'... Kid answers 'I'll get married more than once, but a formal only happens one time in your life'.
Why do we not have short term marriages? Let's have marriages that MUST end after 7 years, unless people write a new contract. That'd make them think. No other business contract within the law is based on the lifetime of the shortest lived partner.