Need "personal" advice
#121
Account Closed
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Re: Need "personal" advice
If only...
The poor choice at the beginning is the choice to get married. Marriage itself flies in the face of nature. So irrespective of subsequent decision making, it is doomed to failure anyway.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Naaa, it's not the marriage, it's the poor choice at the beginning and the subsequent decision making that's wrong.
Well I guess so, though you could just split up amicably rather than getting messy and acrimonious...
#122
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 3,991
Re: Need "personal" advice
I've only just seen this thread - what are you lot like
I dont have a problem with porn but I would have a problem with it being kept a secret from me and I would also have a problem with it if it was on the home computer that the kids may stumble across. You dont have to be delving (was going to say rooting but have to be careful how you use that word in oz hey?) around in the computers memory to find sites that have been visited - just ask my 14 year old son
What i dont think has been mentioned much is the fact that OP works away from home. My BF works 4:1 and its not easy. It doesnt matter how happy or secure you are in that relationship working apart is not easy on either partner and often it is the 'wife' at home keeping the home fires burning and holding the house and kids together. It doesnt take much to set seeds of doubt or concern to question the paranoia of what may be happening whilst you are apart.
Maybe it would be easier if it were found on his own personal computer that he takes with him (if he has one) and not on the home computer where he should hopefully be 'otherwise engaged' on his time off!
These mining jobs pay fantastic money but I believe they come at a heavy price
I dont have a problem with porn but I would have a problem with it being kept a secret from me and I would also have a problem with it if it was on the home computer that the kids may stumble across. You dont have to be delving (was going to say rooting but have to be careful how you use that word in oz hey?) around in the computers memory to find sites that have been visited - just ask my 14 year old son
What i dont think has been mentioned much is the fact that OP works away from home. My BF works 4:1 and its not easy. It doesnt matter how happy or secure you are in that relationship working apart is not easy on either partner and often it is the 'wife' at home keeping the home fires burning and holding the house and kids together. It doesnt take much to set seeds of doubt or concern to question the paranoia of what may be happening whilst you are apart.
Maybe it would be easier if it were found on his own personal computer that he takes with him (if he has one) and not on the home computer where he should hopefully be 'otherwise engaged' on his time off!
These mining jobs pay fantastic money but I believe they come at a heavy price
#124
Re: Need "personal" advice
Its a common argument at home with my brother and SIL. He goes to see the strippers after work (with the Aussies). My SIL hates it. Many a slammed door and dinners fed to the dog. I feel like the kid that blows out the candles on his birthday wishing for no fighting at home.
#125
Auntie Fa
Joined: Nov 2006
Location: Seattle
Posts: 7,344
Re: Need "personal" advice
...
Women produced one gamete (egg) per month and make a week long song and dance about expelling it from their body when it is no longer required.
Men produced several million gametes (sperm) per day. These have to be got rid of too. If the wife isn't around, it has to happen somehow.
...
Women produced one gamete (egg) per month and make a week long song and dance about expelling it from their body when it is no longer required.
Men produced several million gametes (sperm) per day. These have to be got rid of too. If the wife isn't around, it has to happen somehow.
...
#126
Re: Need "personal" advice
Jaysus if Mr P was off seeing strippers after work they'd be hell of a lot more than slammed doors going on. And I wouldn't be sticking around to cook any dinners either!!!
#127
Re: Need "personal" advice
Incredibly common though. I feel strippers are the only thing keeping a lot of pubs alive.
#128
Re: Need "personal" advice
#129
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
Oh, I didn't mean with a man... sorry... I meant, you know, just by ourselves... myself...
Interesting. I don't agree with you because I have plenty of friends who are very happily married, with great sex lives... but I do think that there's something in the 15 yr average length of marriage (when the majority of them end) that may link in with maturity, nature or whatever. We are not *just* animals, we are civilised (and i use that word loosely) animals... in theory... And therefore, marriage cannot fly in the face of 'our' nature... it's what we do.
If you are going to pull the 'nature' card, plenty of animals find mates for life, not just the human species.
It's not always the women. Men can be angry too.
The poor choice at the beginning is the choice to get married. Marriage itself flies in the face of nature. So irrespective of subsequent decision making, it is doomed to failure anyway.
If you are going to pull the 'nature' card, plenty of animals find mates for life, not just the human species.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
#130
Jenny
Joined: Apr 2009
Location: Bradford, but moving to Busselton WA in Sept 2010 (yay!!!!)
Posts: 79
#131
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Need "personal" advice
Its a common argument at home with my brother and SIL. He goes to see the strippers after work (with the Aussies). My SIL hates it. Many a slammed door and dinners fed to the dog. I feel like the kid that blows out the candles on his birthday wishing for no fighting at home.
I think your sig says it all... 'Where did all the love go?'
#132
Account Closed
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Re: Need "personal" advice
Interesting. I don't agree with you because I have plenty of friends who are very happily married, with great sex lives... but I do think that there's something in the 15 yr average length of marriage (when the majority of them end) that may link in with maturity, nature or whatever. We are not *just* animals, we are civilised (and i use that word loosely) animals... in theory... And therefore, marriage cannot fly in the face of 'our' nature... it's what we do.
If you are going to pull the 'nature' card, plenty of animals find mates for life, not just the human species.
If you are going to pull the 'nature' card, plenty of animals find mates for life, not just the human species.
In the grand scheme of evolution, humans like to think that they have evolved beyond our basic instinct but at only about 500,000 years old we are still in our infancy and haven't had the time to evolve into a species that does mate for life. For some reason I don't think it's going to happen.
#133
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2,949
Re: Need "personal" advice
Well my Great Grandparents legacy can dispute that, married at 19, she died at 87 he died at 89, yup massive failure there...
#134
Account Closed
Joined: May 2009
Posts: 2,708
Re: Need "personal" advice
As my grandparents said (and most others probably too) "you make your bed, you lie in it".
#135
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: Brisbane
Posts: 2,949
Re: Need "personal" advice
I don't dispute the difference in generations etc but you say it's against nature. So really it can't be, if natures influence was that strong people would go against the norm. Believe it or not Dean, some people are happy with one person for the rest of their lives, if that's not for you then fine fair enough but don't condemn others or portray them as drones just because their opinions differ, live and let live.