WS

Sorry to hear that Jazzy, hopefully things will work out ok.

Have you validated your visas yet? If not, will your wife still make a validation trip?

carina

So sorry to hear your bad news. Maybe she just needs some time to think things through and clear her head. It is so stressful all this business. It she loves you she'll be back to talk things over. Really hope things work out for you.

Carina

maccy124

That is such a sad and harsh reality of the stress of the situation. I am so sorry to hear about this and know how awful you must be feeling. Don't worry, it will get better. Good Luck for the future. x x x x

jazzys

The fact is, things cannot get much worse I don't think. I've crtainly not experienced worse time than I am now. I'm rock bottom ( I hope )

When I first went to Oz in 1988 there was a song in the charts by Yazz and it was called "The only way is up" . And it was onward and upward from then.

I actually came back for the woman who has just walked out on me.

I don't know whether I should go as soon as i can and let her get on with selling our house OR let her stew in some lonely rented flat for a while. I suppose its best to start thinking about number one now.

Oh by the way, the shis just hit the fan when she poped back for some stuff and she was politely informed that as long as the kids are living with me she is not entitled to the family allowance. Oh dear how will she afford all them fags now?

Eeeeeeee, I'm feeling better already. I might even get myself a sexy aussie chick.

thanks for listening

Jazzys

Scott

mate , am sorry to read all this .
easy for ppl to sit & say stuff , as it is for me .

you gotta do whats right & whatever you feel is best for you & your kin .

easy to say go , leave, but if you love that person then its not easy to do .

all the best

S.

eddie007

i think you need some time and space.... you are so very very close to going but perhaps your wife needs a little more time. I wouldn't make any rash decisions right now, or make any suggestions about splitting up the family... how long do you have left to validate? is it long enough for everyone to become less stressed?

i have been a grade A bitch to my husband throughout this whole thing, the stress has been terrible... is it the stress relating to the immigration that has pushed her over the edge? or is it a more fundamentle problem?

herrchook

What a horrendous situation for all of you Jazzy, I truly hope you work somethng out and you find some happiness.

When do you need to validate by?

Gill

stuckinblighty

hey Jazz thats exactly my cunning plan..to get a sexy Aussie bird (dont tell the missus tho')

If your heading for Melbourne then maybe we can 'investigate' the local wildlife together

Lee

Issie

What sad news.......I am so sorry.

Maybe she might just need a bit of time out for now.


(((((( Hugs ))))))

mark 'n' joe

Im so sorry to hear your having a rough time. Dont give up on your dream. Like others have said if you havent already validated then I would do that to keep your options open.

Would your wife be willing to go to marriage guidance? It may help to talk to someone not connected to you both. I hope you can sort things out.

All the best. Big hugs

Joex

smiling4

Jazzy...be strong, think things through.....have you been previously on a reccie, is that something that you could suggest, have you spoken with your wife to try and find out more about her issues, you say that it is pressure, but maybe she just got scared? Has your daughter said she won't go? Keep your chin up and try to remain positive about things. You have an opportunity of a lifetime and you need to decide how you want to play it.....good luck Ems x

asher

Jazzy

try to stay calm for the sake of your lad, you need to find out why your wife did this, if it was your relationship, the strain of Oz or just a panic.

you need to start a dialogue probably best to meet up in a neutral place and try to hang on to your temper and find out where she is coming from and what she sees as the future and then take it from there.

This is really hard on all of you all the best for the future

aussi110

awfull

God Bless You

Katsmajics other half !!!

blimey mate.........every now and again we get dealt a bum hand and its the way in which we play that hand that makes all the difference........dnt throw them there cards in yet !!!!

there may still be life in that there hand....ppl have been in alot worse scenarios on here i bet , you will get lots of advice on here read alot and listen alot mate.

Dnt throw it all in just yet..........you and your mrs have got to get together just the two of you and lay everything on the table trying not to want to have a go at each other.

Go validate mate then you will have some time on your hands to really decide on what to do.........

You know where we all are if you need anything just give us a shout.

Chin up.........

Cheetah7

Jazzy, I dont think she necessarily has cold feet about Australia, anymore than she has had enough with you.

Speaking as someone who a few years ago, had totally had enough of the stress that was current in our life, I know what it is like to have so much going on that the only answer is to walk away from the situation to get some head space. This I must add, is not the answer but sometimes it is the only solution at the time.

It is very hard when you feel everything is piling up on you emotionally to the point you really cannot take, talk nor face it anymore. With various needs and demands your time - in whatever form they take, your head just shuts down and your 'fight or flight' response kicks in.

Migration is hard at any time - Jesus I am terrified as a few plans haven't quite come off and things are not going to be as easy as we had hoped.

The thought of intentionally making ourselves jobless, homeless and in a strange country, is enough to wobble the strongest person off their emotional tightrope.

So put children into that equation and those worries are doubled. It is bad enough and hard enough having just yourselves to worry about but with youngsters as well, you must both be so scared.

It is awful that you have lost your job so close to booking the tickets and whilst you have handled it in your own way and come across as well balanced in your thoughts, I have a feeling with regards to your wife who was already bottling up her fears, it has just tipped her into panic mode.

She probably can't see a way forward and is so aware of this, that she has had to remove herself from anything associated with your situation.

Its a horrible feeling when you want to run, and must be dreadful for you picking up the pieces.

But my guess is and I hope I am right, that when she has had time to calm down and take a breather, she will come back ready to talk and be with those that love her most - her family.

The urge to walk out in this situation usually comes when someone has reached saturation point.

And when she comes back, she could well be more receptive to the idea of really talking about how she is feeling and her fears.

Look after yourself mate and whilst you are caught up in the whole migration process, keep time for your own emotions and allow yourself to express them.