boldon mackem

Has anybody made the jump with a new baby in tow?

My wife is pregnant at the moment, and we are planning on moving to Melbourne when the baby is around 8 months old (provided VISA is through by then).

I think this will be very difficult to do as we will be taking the grandson / daughter away from our parents, which will devestate them, and we will be losing our support network, that I am anticipating being a huge help to us, especially as this is our first.

Iwas jsut wondering if anyone who has been through this could give me some pointers on how hard it was, how you managed it (especially the telling the grandparents that your taking their little budle of joy away from them), and any tips on being strong and doing what we know is right for the family.

Thanks.

carolk

Hello
It's a hard position to be in.
I'm not in the same position, but I am experiencing the same kind of feelings as you may do.
I am an Australian living in Ireland with my first little baby, away from my family in Melbourne, the first grandchild of the family, and it is very hard knowing they are not there. We have my hubby's family here, but it is just not the same.
By about 8 months you should have a bit of a routine, so you may find that you don't need so much of a support network, but that won't make it any less sad.
The only thing to do is to remember that you're moving is for the best, and it's beneficial for your family, and you have to put everything else behind you. You have to put your immediate family first. But it is still hard. Remember aswell, your family is only a flight (or 2 or 3) away, and you'll just have try and budget to put money away every week so you can have a regular trip home (or pay to have your family come out to Melbourne) so that you'll know the next time you can see them again.
It will hard but it will get easier. But everyone will tell you that.
Oh, and get a webcam - it's great for the grandparents!!
PM me if you like and I can try to give you more advice if I can.
Good luck with your plans.

dave7370

Hello,

Me and my hubby will be in the same boat. We have just had our first baby in November and should be moving to oz when he is 14 months old. Our parents all knew we were planning the move so it wont be such a shock, although deep down Im sure they are hoping we wont go now he is here.
Daves parents live in France and both my parents want to retire abroad but it will still be hard being so far away from them. But we need to do this for our family and if we dont like it we can always come home. I would hate to regret not going in a few years time.
The first few weeks with a new baby is hard and it has been good having family around, especially my mom who helped out alot in the first few weeks. Jacob is now 2 months old and we are in more of a rotine so by the time you go to oz you will feel much more confident with your parenting skills! (hopefully!)
The main thing im nervous about is the flight with a baby, having never done it before but otherwise im looking forward to taking jacob to all the fab places oz has to offer. Good luck with your move and the new arrival, let me know how you have settled in as you will be there before us,


Cheryl, Dave and Jacob

s-jmelbournewannabe

hi,
We too will be leaving for OZ about Christmas. We will be taking 4 out of 5 of their grandchildren with us too. my inlaws are devastated, but it is what we have to do. Ours are 9,2 and twins at 1. you can imagine what there reaction is. they have another at 2 by hubs brother, but not the same.

Yet my mum is pleased we are going, she wants us to take the children and give them a better life. She says she'd have done the same if she could've....
good luck.. s-j and brood x

boldon mackem

i know that the move is for the best for me & my family, and my family are not Ok with it, but understand why we are doing it, and will back us.

However the problems will come from my wifes mum. She is seperated from my father in law, and only has my wife left as my wifes brother was killed in an accident 12 years ago. So that means she only has Sam left, and if we take that and her grandchild away, I think she might get VERY lonely, so will put up a fight.

But you's are right we have to be strong and make sure that we say from the very start what our plans are and stick to them, no matter how hard it gets.

username 34

yup - we did this and the burden of guilt was immense!!

we left in 2004 with an 8 week old and a 23 month old to go to the West Indies. 8 week old son didnt really have time to bond with my family as I was so busy getting ready to go (hubby was already overseas at our new place) but taking our 23 month old was VERY VERY hard. our last night was spent at my parents with him sleeping in their room as my mum almost wouldnt let him get out the bed!

luckily my parents - being expats living in the UK themselves - know about moving away from family and living abroad and were very strong, no uncontrollable weeping. They know we've done this to give our kids a better life, a better future ..... and its working for us. We see them at least 3 times a year - which is what makes it acceptable I think - and although my parents are without doubt much closer to my neice who lives in the UK they love my boys just as much and make sure that the time spent with them is treasured.

2 1/2 years down the road now and I dont really give it a second thought - my boys know when they see the UK relatives and are quite happy about it, and my parents have never exerted any kind of guilt pressure which I'm very thankful for.