Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Oct 10th 2007, 10:36 pm
#16
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 23,400
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Oct 11th 2007, 12:30 am
#18
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Location: Tasmania!
Posts: 2,414
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Just what I need to cheer me up (well pissed off today), glad I ventured in to the Barbie for a smile, don't come in here very often, rather shy.
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Oct 11th 2007, 7:13 am
#19
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Joined: May 2007
Location: Aarschot Belgium
Posts: 355
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
That must have been the funniest story I've read in along time.
F**k me, I sitting here with tears rolling down my face
As the real estate lady would have said What a Crack(er)!!!!
F**k me, I sitting here with tears rolling down my face
As the real estate lady would have said What a Crack(er)!!!!
Oct 11th 2007, 7:59 am
#20
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Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Montmorency, Vic
Posts: 325
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Just what I need to cheer me up (well pissed off today), glad I ventured in to the Barbie for a smile, don't come in here very often, rather shy.
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Oct 11th 2007, 8:44 am
#21
wannabeeinaussie
Joined: Aug 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 398
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Brilliant stories, tears rolling down my cheeks!
Thanks - brightened up my otherwise very dull day.
Thanks - brightened up my otherwise very dull day.
Oct 11th 2007, 11:21 am
#22
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,560
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
me and the other half were on holiday in tenerife i had just hand washed my bikini's and was hanging them on the line outside the apartmemt i wanted to make sure they were clean so i was smelling the guset of each one when a group of holiday makers walked by i never noticed them till they all started laughing how embarssing!!!
Im sure there is many more but thats the one that sticks in my mind!!
Im sure there is many more but thats the one that sticks in my mind!!
Oct 11th 2007, 11:22 am
#23
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,560
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Just what I need to cheer me up (well pissed off today), glad I ventured in to the Barbie for a smile, don't come in here very often, rather shy.
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Oct 11th 2007, 12:24 pm
#24
Account Closed
Joined: Dec 2003
Posts: 2,375
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Knocking one out under the duvet when I was 14 to find that Mum had left a cup of tea next to the bed ...
Oct 11th 2007, 12:38 pm
#25
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Here's some more 
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...=345952&page=2
(Post 34 is Hutch Can't find Soapy's, yet!)
http://britishexpats.com/forum/showt...=345952&page=2
(Post 34 is Hutch
Can't find Soapy's, yet!)
Oct 11th 2007, 2:20 pm
#26
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Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 484
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
Can't believe you went back to scoop!My most recent embarrassing moment was here in Perth. Me & dd went to feed the ducks at the local duck pond. As my daughter fetched out the bread all the ducks approached the bank & crowded round her. She panicked & kicked her foot out to shoo them away. As she did this her sandal flew off & landed in the duck pond. She was screaming & crying because they were her favourite. I told her not to worry, mummy would get it
I stood on the edge, crouched down & leant forward to reach for the sandal.... lost my balance & fell in
I could touch the bottom but the water & duck shit came up to my neck. DD screamed even more because now mummy was in the pond & struggling to get out. There was a concrete slope inside, all slimy which was making it difficult to climb out. I tried to reassure my daughter hoping she'd stop screaming because I didn't want her to attract any attention. I finally scrambled out breaking several fingernails,cutting my knee & ankle. To top it off I didn't even get the bloody sandal. Had to sit on the other side of the pond, dripping wet & covered in duck shite waiting for the sandal to drift to the edge
The following week my dd had great pleasure in telling everyone in kindy news time that 'mummy fell in the duck pond'
Oct 11th 2007, 5:22 pm
#27
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Posts: 510
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Here Goes, for those of a quesay disposition, goto another thread now.
Was December 2006.
Place Woop Woop ( west of laidley )
Temperature approx 34 degrees, 8am, following a storm night before. Humidity High.
As an air con installer, and working for several builders. We install aircons in their new houses, wherever they build. One such install was the location of this story.
I wear all round year work clothes, debs often says i am a scruffy pig. But I am just waiting for my body to come back into fashion, then i will have the last laugh !
Donning blue work shirt, khaki work shorts, me socks skids n trainers, i hopped in the ute at 5am, for the 2.5 hr journey to the job site.
As an air con installer, I am generally doing the install on my todd, and am the last trade in, generally after even the builders clean, which unfortunately was the case , here.
We had had very heavy rain and a storm, the preceeding night, and so I took my thongs with me. If its a hot day, and the ground is slightly muddy, its often worth while taking thongs, so you dont muck up the floors in the house etc.
I promptly arrived care of TomTom, at about 7:20 am
Middle of frigging nowhere, i just knew, fark... i should bought a new packet of smokes. The ground around the desolate home in the middle of nowhere, was as soggy as a rich tea in bovril.
I unloaded the truck, working solitary, it can get tedious humping a 65 kilo air con, around the house in search of the isolator switch to which it is paired.
My trainers were getting muddier, so having deposited the said aircon, i clumped my heavily sodden feet back round the house to the ute.
I had lobbed my thongs on the back of the ute, and had reversed the ute far up the side of the new home as i could, in fact i was so pleased with myself, i had managed to park it right next to the patio door at the side of the house.
Always thinking you see !!!
I hoofed myself up on the rear wheel, to reach over for my thongs, and at the precise moment of grasping the thongs, i felt my toews loose their grip of my Maxis 185's and i slipped arse over tit.
Landing on possibly the only puddle remaining on the block after the storms, my arse hit the ground with the precision and exquisite decorum of a haggis thrown into a swamp.
Splash went the shitty mud up the house wall, all over the patio door, inside the house and all over my ute.
I could feel the wetness and smell that earthy after storm smell, eminating from my groin area, at which point i noticed i still had clutched in my hand my thongs !! How effing clever am i , lol !!!!!
I jumped up, and did that oldd fart dance of TADAHHHH , like the old git at the wedding who slips, and pretends it was a break dancing move.
I took my now muddy trainers and socks off, and using my thongs as stepping stones, i made my way to outdoor tap, and washed my legs arse and feet, and my trainers.
As luck would have it, it was a very hot day and i was the middle of no where. Not a house in site, just the distant clicking of cicadas.
This was possibly the point in the day, I made my second mistake. I whipped my shorts off, and flapped their soggy form onto the back of my ute, they would be dry in an hour. It was then I noticed, I had put on white boxers that day, and they had a peculiar brown streak in the region of my botty crease.
Erm... bugger it, i thought they will dry ok !!
Now khaki work shorts for me are a godsend, 32 pockets, and pull cord tension rope around the waist, makes my job much easier.
I proceeded to work in the house, eyeing up the muddy splash across the new beige ceramic floor tiles, and thinking , wait till its dry and then sweep it, be easier steve.
Armed with pliers, shifters screwdrivers and a hammer, there I am up my Bailey step ladders, in the family room, with my tools tucked in my elasticated boxers wasitband, i suddenly looked like a fat white snoop doggy dog..
My skids were heading south, i had screwdriver in my gob, and 12 tools stuffed in my top shirt pockets..
Suddenly my worst nightmare.
FOOTSTEPS.
Before I could even say, OH SHIT MOVE YOUR ARSE.. in they came, real estate lady ( happened to be a 22 yr old chick ) and a young couple, looking to rent their dream home.
What must they have thought as they Air-Vomited at seeing a dodgy half naked fella with a shit stain on his skids, and the back of his pants down mid way past his but cheek..... wearing thongs, and mud splashes all over the floor...
I hasten to say, that wasnt one of my better days. However it seems they saw the funny side of it, rented the house.
The builder of the home wasnt that concerned, in fcat he phoned me up and personally thanked me, parting with the words.. Poopy Pant Pervert cya on the next job !
. How can anyone compete with that one? You're the winner Poohey Pants!!
Great thread! You wrote it well too.
Vegemite.
Oct 11th 2007, 5:22 pm
#28
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Location: Ridgewood , Perth
Posts: 3,134
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Now that is embarrasing ! but very funny, hope it was only the ducks that saw you !!!
Nicky
but very funny, hope it was only the ducks that saw you !!! Nicky
Oct 11th 2007, 5:27 pm
#29
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Joined: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 510
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Just what I need to cheer me up (well pissed off today), glad I ventured in to the Barbie for a smile, don't come in here very often, rather shy.
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
Have mentioned this one before but it stll makes me laugh when I think about it. Out on a shopping trip in B & Q with family and we lost our 3 year old daughter until she came running around a corner, telling us very proudly she had been to the toilet and done a poo all on her own. Which toilet, we asked, nervously looking at the display bathrooms. Yes - you've guessed it, she had only gone and deposited in one of the show toilets.
My poor hubby had to stand guard while I ran out to the car, nearly wetting myself with laughter, to fetch appropriate wipes and poo bag. I had to then look very casual as I was bending over the toilet and scooping out the poo, whilst several people were wondering past.
If they had CCTV on that area, I can only imagine the hysterics!
Sammy
hee hee!!
Oct 11th 2007, 5:34 pm
#30
Gutter Gob!!
Joined: Feb 2005
Location: Perth
Posts: 13,098
Re: Most Embarrasing Moment in your Life?
Can't believe you went back to scoop!My most recent embarrassing moment was here in Perth. Me & dd went to feed the ducks at the local duck pond. As my daughter fetched out the bread all the ducks approached the bank & crowded round her. She panicked & kicked her foot out to shoo them away. As she did this her sandal flew off & landed in the duck pond. She was screaming & crying because they were her favourite. I told her not to worry, mummy would get it
I stood on the edge, crouched down & leant forward to reach for the sandal.... lost my balance & fell in
I could touch the bottom but the water & duck shit came up to my neck. DD screamed even more because now mummy was in the pond & struggling to get out. There was a concrete slope inside, all slimy which was making it difficult to climb out. I tried to reassure my daughter hoping she'd stop screaming because I didn't want her to attract any attention. I finally scrambled out breaking several fingernails,cutting my knee & ankle. To top it off I didn't even get the bloody sandal. Had to sit on the other side of the pond, dripping wet & covered in duck shite waiting for the sandal to drift to the edge
The following week my dd had great pleasure in telling everyone in kindy news time that 'mummy fell in the duck pond'
