Lunatic Encounters... please share.
#31
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
Hmm...I'm not so sure if any of mine count as lunatic as more slightly off their rocker...
When I was 15, I was wearing a pair of pink and black earrings that resembled a set of upside down balloons hanging from my ears (hey, it was the 80s). Some woman in a shopping mall came up to me, grabbed one, muttering, "When I was a missionary in Africa, the natives wore these...they were against God and in league with the devil...are you? Are you?"
I've had various roommates in my 20s who: made homemade porn in their spare time (ugh and how I found out is a whole other story), only ate food of a certain color, or were sure that aliens were using mind control on them.
When I was staying at a youth hostel in Dublin in 1993, there was a Bosnian refugee housed there by the Red Cross who would wake around 1am every night and pull us out of the bunks by our feet. I guess he had a reason, but crap, that was a lousy wake up call.
Flashers...one guy did flash once while speeding by on his bike. Now there's a talent.
A friend of mine says a woman on her bus route back in Canada dresses up in a bunny suit all the time. Not for Easter, not for any apparent reason. She is just always on that bus in a dirty, well-worn bunny suit.
When I was 15, I was wearing a pair of pink and black earrings that resembled a set of upside down balloons hanging from my ears (hey, it was the 80s). Some woman in a shopping mall came up to me, grabbed one, muttering, "When I was a missionary in Africa, the natives wore these...they were against God and in league with the devil...are you? Are you?"
I've had various roommates in my 20s who: made homemade porn in their spare time (ugh and how I found out is a whole other story), only ate food of a certain color, or were sure that aliens were using mind control on them.
When I was staying at a youth hostel in Dublin in 1993, there was a Bosnian refugee housed there by the Red Cross who would wake around 1am every night and pull us out of the bunks by our feet. I guess he had a reason, but crap, that was a lousy wake up call.
Flashers...one guy did flash once while speeding by on his bike. Now there's a talent.
A friend of mine says a woman on her bus route back in Canada dresses up in a bunny suit all the time. Not for Easter, not for any apparent reason. She is just always on that bus in a dirty, well-worn bunny suit.
#32
Devil's Advocate
Joined: Feb 2008
Location: Mandurah
Posts: 2,269
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
I think I may have told this one on here before but my favourite happened in quite a well to do English village where we lived. We had our local alchie, homeless nutter, quite harmless and really a bit of tragic sole but still quite amusing in a non PC way.
Anyway one morning one of the well known local gentry were walking their pedigree beagle (IIRC) when upon passing said gent on the bus stop bench was told by said drunk "Ere mate, your dogs a wanker!"
It was so ridiculous, so uncalled for and juts such a bizarre insult you had to laugh. The gentrified gent didn't know quite what to make of it all. Brilliant.
Anyway one morning one of the well known local gentry were walking their pedigree beagle (IIRC) when upon passing said gent on the bus stop bench was told by said drunk "Ere mate, your dogs a wanker!"
It was so ridiculous, so uncalled for and juts such a bizarre insult you had to laugh. The gentrified gent didn't know quite what to make of it all. Brilliant.
#34
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
Funny how there are so many pervs playing with themselves in public, have witnessed that myself a number of times. Anyway, I used to catch a bus with my daughter everyday and once had some young bloke come up to me and say "I have four of them, I feed em, clothe em and look after em" and gesturing towards my daughter. He continued to chat away a load of nonsense to me and when the bus arrived he carried my pushchair onto the bus then got off and walked away!!! Another time I had some german woman come up to me and tell me she had been on a plane and it went up in the air! Whilst telling me this she was gesturing wildly with her arms in the air! Thankfully she just walked off! My mum has the same problem with attracting weirdos, she was once asked (was in Brighton UK) to look after a mentally disabled person in a wheelchair while the carer went somewhere, my mum sat there wondering whether the carer was going to come back!
#35
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
Just had friend of a friend buddy up with me on Facebook. No idea why apart from the fact we met once in our local bottle shop. I put her on my business account. Seemed fine until she asked me about help to stop her dog pooping in the corner... she asked me because she knew I had a dog. So I gave her a list of things she could do and then she went nutsoid. I should have listened to my instinct. Big crazy eyes, cowboy hat... clearly a nutter.
Happens every time I disobey that inner 'nutter warning' voice. Never again.
Happens every time I disobey that inner 'nutter warning' voice. Never again.
#36
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,374
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
reading this thread at lunch and laughing so much am crying
#37
...giving optimism a go?!
Joined: Jun 2007
Location: Brisbane (leafy, hilly western suburbs)
Posts: 2,202
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
Interesting that theres so much experience of indecent exposure here. Its not something I've ever encountered or thought was that common.
Closest I've come to flashers is a recently when I was riding home from work one afternoon following a school bus, a bunch of the girls on the back seat turned around and looked at me, scribbled something on a pad of papaer and held it to the rear window... I couldnt read it.....
10 seconds later one of them lightened the mood by giving me a full shirt-lift flash and a bit of a jiggle (.) (.)
<I'd put an appropriate smiley face in here - but since the girl was almost certainly under 18 (although I'd guess not by much) I'll refrain>
As far as nutters go... I've not had much expereince beyond a crazy homeless woman in Darwin who howled at the moon every night and one day lept out onto the footpath about 1ft in front of me from a position behind the bushes and ranted on about how I had apparently offended her ancestors. I just mumbled something like, "Sorry about that then", stepped to one side and carried on.
Closest I've come to flashers is a recently when I was riding home from work one afternoon following a school bus, a bunch of the girls on the back seat turned around and looked at me, scribbled something on a pad of papaer and held it to the rear window... I couldnt read it.....
10 seconds later one of them lightened the mood by giving me a full shirt-lift flash and a bit of a jiggle (.) (.)
<I'd put an appropriate smiley face in here - but since the girl was almost certainly under 18 (although I'd guess not by much) I'll refrain>
As far as nutters go... I've not had much expereince beyond a crazy homeless woman in Darwin who howled at the moon every night and one day lept out onto the footpath about 1ft in front of me from a position behind the bushes and ranted on about how I had apparently offended her ancestors. I just mumbled something like, "Sorry about that then", stepped to one side and carried on.
#38
Account Closed
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 4,374
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
[QUOTE=CEM;9293761]About 25 years ago I found an older lady lying on the side of the road, with a bicycle on top of her. I went over to see if she was ok. She looked up, blinking and said, "I'm fine love. It's just those bloody Russians. They came down from space and knocked me off my bike. Well, they knocked me off and they can pick me up, I'm not moving till then!".
I couldn't persuade her to move, so in the end had to phone the police.
Poor lady.
This is the winner for me!
I couldn't persuade her to move, so in the end had to phone the police.
Poor lady.
This is the winner for me!
#39
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
I think I may have told this one on here before but my favourite happened in quite a well to do English village where we lived. We had our local alchie, homeless nutter, quite harmless and really a bit of tragic sole but still quite amusing in a non PC way.
Anyway one morning one of the well known local gentry were walking their pedigree beagle (IIRC) when upon passing said gent on the bus stop bench was told by said drunk "Ere mate, your dogs a wanker!"
It was so ridiculous, so uncalled for and juts such a bizarre insult you had to laugh. The gentrified gent didn't know quite what to make of it all. Brilliant.
Anyway one morning one of the well known local gentry were walking their pedigree beagle (IIRC) when upon passing said gent on the bus stop bench was told by said drunk "Ere mate, your dogs a wanker!"
It was so ridiculous, so uncalled for and juts such a bizarre insult you had to laugh. The gentrified gent didn't know quite what to make of it all. Brilliant.
#40
Forum Regular
Joined: Jul 2007
Location: waikanae
Posts: 124
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
I lived in a rural area of East Kent. Very rarely would I bump into anyone whilst walking my dog.One day this woman emerged from the woods. Well made up,wearing jewellry & smart clothes. She was carrying a plastic carrier bag. Actually they all seem to carry plastic bags. What's in them? Anyway she just started rambling on about this & that for several minutes & said that she was looking for a flat to rent. Said a subdued bye as she walked off along the hedgerow. The nearest town was 3 miles away.
Had a fat obnoxious perv pressing up against me in a queue. I turned to look at him (he responded with a sickening leer) then said very loudly "Keep your balls to yourself"!! It slithered off immediately. I had looks of (I wish I could be like that) from some of the women there.
Had a fat obnoxious perv pressing up against me in a queue. I turned to look at him (he responded with a sickening leer) then said very loudly "Keep your balls to yourself"!! It slithered off immediately. I had looks of (I wish I could be like that) from some of the women there.
#41
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
I lived in a rural area of East Kent. Very rarely would I bump into anyone whilst walking my dog.One day this woman emerged from the woods. Well made up,wearing jewellry & smart clothes. She was carrying a plastic carrier bag. Actually they all seem to carry plastic bags. What's in them? Anyway she just started rambling on about this & that for several minutes & said that she was looking for a flat to rent. Said a subdued bye as she walked off along the hedgerow. The nearest town was 3 miles away.
Had a fat obnoxious perv pressing up against me in a queue. I turned to look at him (he responded with a sickening leer) then said very loudly "Keep your balls to yourself"!! It slithered off immediately. I had looks of (I wish I could be like that) from some of the women there.
Had a fat obnoxious perv pressing up against me in a queue. I turned to look at him (he responded with a sickening leer) then said very loudly "Keep your balls to yourself"!! It slithered off immediately. I had looks of (I wish I could be like that) from some of the women there.
#42
BE Forum Addict
Joined: Mar 2006
Location: Riverland, SA - Beds/Cambs/Nhants was home in UK
Posts: 1,503
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
Whilst some of these stories were undoubtably scary at the time, I'm sorry but they're hilarious now
I'm with Margaret3 about the lady and her bike and the Russians! Classic!
Yet again I'm glad that I live in the middle of nowhere, and have done so generally most of my life.
I haven't encountered anything of interest at all apart from one recently departed member of staff who suggested that a solution to our housing shortages would be to make houses out of the old pallets and spud bins we have around the place
I'm with Margaret3 about the lady and her bike and the Russians! Classic!
Yet again I'm glad that I live in the middle of nowhere, and have done so generally most of my life.
I haven't encountered anything of interest at all apart from one recently departed member of staff who suggested that a solution to our housing shortages would be to make houses out of the old pallets and spud bins we have around the place
#43
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 9,668
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
Whilst some of these stories were undoubtably scary at the time, I'm sorry but they're hilarious now
I'm with Margaret3 about the lady and her bike and the Russians! Classic!
Yet again I'm glad that I live in the middle of nowhere, and have done so generally most of my life.
I haven't encountered anything of interest at all apart from one recently departed member of staff who suggested that a solution to our housing shortages would be to make houses out of the old pallets and spud bins we have around the place
I'm with Margaret3 about the lady and her bike and the Russians! Classic!
Yet again I'm glad that I live in the middle of nowhere, and have done so generally most of my life.
I haven't encountered anything of interest at all apart from one recently departed member of staff who suggested that a solution to our housing shortages would be to make houses out of the old pallets and spud bins we have around the place
#44
BE Enthusiast
Joined: Dec 2006
Location: North Rocky
Posts: 447
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
I used to catch the 6.30 am bus to work and over the course of a couple of weeks a council street cleaner 'flashed' me several times. I tended to ignore him (too early in the day to be bothered) but one morning he flashed both myself and another young girl who reported the incident to the police.
I had to give a statement later that day and the policeman asked me how I knew it was the street cleaner. The fact that he wore a council uniform and had a vacuum thing with him everytime I saw him gave it away. He then proceeded to ask me where his vacuum was at the time of the incidents to which I replied 'well it wasn't in his hands!'.
Never did see him again after that.
Funny I had actually forgotten all about it until this thread. As they say 'there's nowt funnier than folk'.
Mx
I had to give a statement later that day and the policeman asked me how I knew it was the street cleaner. The fact that he wore a council uniform and had a vacuum thing with him everytime I saw him gave it away. He then proceeded to ask me where his vacuum was at the time of the incidents to which I replied 'well it wasn't in his hands!'.
Never did see him again after that.
Funny I had actually forgotten all about it until this thread. As they say 'there's nowt funnier than folk'.
Mx
#45
Re: Lunatic Encounters... please share.
I once had an elderly lady come up to me at the tube station and she started talking absolute rubbish. She was seriously agitated and near to the edge of the platform... I thought she was going to fall over or something, so I took her for a cup of tea at the station cafe. After a few mins of tea and a slice of cake, we managed to call her son on his mobile. Turns out she had diabetes and had gone doolally because of low sugar. Later on he sent flowers to work for me as a thank you for rescuing her. Sometimes crazy isn't always crazy, though saying that, flashers are def in the 'crazy' category, as are people who wear cowboy hats as fashion statements.
That's true. Diabetes and plenty of other illnesses can give the wrong impression of someone's mental health. I found a very confused gentleman once who was making no sense at all. Turned out he was having a stroke.
My daughter has just reminded me of one who travelled on the same train as them in Sydney. She used to stand in the corridor repeating things over and over to herself and anyone she thought was listening. "Alright, Grandma. You alright, yeah I'm alright. Well, that's alright if we're all alright. Alright Grandma..........' and on and on it went until they got off 25 minutes later!