Letters To Papers
Mar 5th 2006, 2:30 am
#1
Life's a gamble
Thread Starter
Joined: Sep 2005
Location: Solihull2Gold Coast-Sept '06
Posts: 2,492
Letters To Papers
Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC
Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a
nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. - Ben Hunt.
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of
heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are
living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish
they'd make their minds up. - John.
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial
says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. - Colin Hill.
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was
a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose
around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I
would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the
extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. - L Palmer, London.
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD
pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make
from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they
stop breaking the law, so will I. - P Boddington, Ringway.
Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just
like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's
m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? - P, Leeds.
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to
reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a
correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was
I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to
leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such
appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? - Noel, Leeds.
My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing
board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? - Alun Daniel.
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
- Alan Thakray.
Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of
Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London.
Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars? - T Barnham, London.
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim
cleric Abu Hamsa? -Les, Barnsley.
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one
law for the rich and another for the poor. - Reg Ashcroft, Bradford.
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government haven't told the poor
sods?- John Campbell, e-mail.
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on
about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. - Mike
Woods, e-mail.
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
last time he played hide and seek with them. - Shuggie, e-mail.
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
splendid sense of humour. - Chris Scaife, Jesmond.
I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much,
but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? - Dave Owen, Edinburgh.
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
- Stan.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. - Thomas J.
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC
Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a
nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. - Ben Hunt.
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of
heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are
living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish
they'd make their minds up. - John.
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial
says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. - Colin Hill.
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was
a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose
around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I
would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the
extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. - L Palmer, London.
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD
pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make
from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they
stop breaking the law, so will I. - P Boddington, Ringway.
Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just
like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's
m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? - P, Leeds.
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to
reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a
correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was
I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to
leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such
appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? - Noel, Leeds.
My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing
board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? - Alun Daniel.
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
- Alan Thakray.
Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of
Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London.
Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars? - T Barnham, London.
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim
cleric Abu Hamsa? -Les, Barnsley.
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one
law for the rich and another for the poor. - Reg Ashcroft, Bradford.
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government haven't told the poor
sods?- John Campbell, e-mail.
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on
about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. - Mike
Woods, e-mail.
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
last time he played hide and seek with them. - Shuggie, e-mail.
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
splendid sense of humour. - Chris Scaife, Jesmond.
I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much,
but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? - Dave Owen, Edinburgh.
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
- Stan.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. - Thomas J.
Mar 5th 2006, 2:36 am
#2
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Nov 2005
Location: at the bottom of a wine glass
Posts: 28,176
Re: Letters To Papers
Originally Posted by Suni&Jay
Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC
Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a
nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. - Ben Hunt.
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of
heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are
living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish
they'd make their minds up. - John.
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial
says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. - Colin Hill.
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was
a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose
around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I
would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the
extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. - L Palmer, London.
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD
pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make
from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they
stop breaking the law, so will I. - P Boddington, Ringway.
Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just
like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's
m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? - P, Leeds.
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to
reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a
correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was
I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to
leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such
appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? - Noel, Leeds.
My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing
board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? - Alun Daniel.
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
- Alan Thakray.
Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of
Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London.
Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars? - T Barnham, London.
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim
cleric Abu Hamsa? -Les, Barnsley.
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one
law for the rich and another for the poor. - Reg Ashcroft, Bradford.
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government haven't told the poor
sods?- John Campbell, e-mail.
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on
about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. - Mike
Woods, e-mail.
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
last time he played hide and seek with them. - Shuggie, e-mail.
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
splendid sense of humour. - Chris Scaife, Jesmond.
I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much,
but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? - Dave Owen, Edinburgh.
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
- Stan.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. - Thomas J.
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC
Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a
nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. - Ben Hunt.
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of
heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are
living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish
they'd make their minds up. - John.
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial
says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. - Colin Hill.
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was
a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose
around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I
would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the
extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. - L Palmer, London.
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD
pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make
from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they
stop breaking the law, so will I. - P Boddington, Ringway.
Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just
like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's
m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? - P, Leeds.
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to
reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a
correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was
I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to
leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such
appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? - Noel, Leeds.
My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing
board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? - Alun Daniel.
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
- Alan Thakray.
Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of
Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London.
Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars? - T Barnham, London.
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim
cleric Abu Hamsa? -Les, Barnsley.
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one
law for the rich and another for the poor. - Reg Ashcroft, Bradford.
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government haven't told the poor
sods?- John Campbell, e-mail.
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on
about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. - Mike
Woods, e-mail.
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
last time he played hide and seek with them. - Shuggie, e-mail.
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
splendid sense of humour. - Chris Scaife, Jesmond.
I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much,
but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? - Dave Owen, Edinburgh.
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
- Stan.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. - Thomas J.
Very funny
Mar 6th 2006, 1:38 pm
#3
She's Diddy, He's Not
Joined: Apr 2004
Location: Gold Coast - just like Felixstowe
Posts: 2,454
Re: Letters To Papers
Excellent - very funny.
Mar 6th 2006, 1:49 pm
#4
Forum Regular
Joined: Nov 2004
Location: on the edge........of a pretty decent area
Posts: 136
Re: Letters To Papers
Roflmho :d :d
Mar 6th 2006, 2:20 pm
#5
Lost in BE Cyberspace
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 10,375
Re: Letters To Papers
Originally Posted by Suni&Jay
Hats off to the England cricketers for their achievements in the
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC
Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a
nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. - Ben Hunt.
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of
heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are
living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish
they'd make their minds up. - John.
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial
says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. - Colin Hill.
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was
a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose
around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I
would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the
extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. - L Palmer, London.
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD
pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make
from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they
stop breaking the law, so will I. - P Boddington, Ringway.
Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just
like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's
m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? - P, Leeds.
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to
reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a
correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was
I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to
leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such
appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? - Noel, Leeds.
My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing
board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? - Alun Daniel.
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
- Alan Thakray.
Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of
Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London.
Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars? - T Barnham, London.
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim
cleric Abu Hamsa? -Les, Barnsley.
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one
law for the rich and another for the poor. - Reg Ashcroft, Bradford.
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government haven't told the poor
sods?- John Campbell, e-mail.
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on
about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. - Mike
Woods, e-mail.
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
last time he played hide and seek with them. - Shuggie, e-mail.
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
splendid sense of humour. - Chris Scaife, Jesmond.
I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much,
but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? - Dave Owen, Edinburgh.
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
- Stan.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. - Thomas J.
Ashes this summer, which rightly earned Andrew 'Freddie' Flintoff BBC
Sports personality of the Year. Winning a two-team tournament against a
nation with a much smaller population once in every ten attempts, then never shutting up about it makes me proud to be British. - Ben Hunt.
The government tells us that we are eating too many pies and dying of
heart disease, then in the next breath they're telling us we are
living too long and there'll be no more pension money left for us. I wish
they'd make their minds up. - John.
'Alton Towers - Where the magic never ends', or so the commercial
says. Imagine my disappointment when it closed at 7.30. - Colin Hill.
I am married to a Taiwanese lady, and people often ask me if she was
a mail-order bride. I find this very insensitive. The Royal Mail lose
around 2 million letters and parcels each year, and to suggest that I
would trust the delivery of my wife to them is insulting in the
extreme. She was sent by DHL next day delivery. - L Palmer, London.
The record companies would have us believe that the money made by CD
pirates goes to fund the drug industry. But the money rock stars make
from legal record sales ends up in exactly the same place. When they
stop breaking the law, so will I. - P Boddington, Ringway.
Peter Andre might look smug in all his wedding pictures, but I'd just
like to remind him that, as a Playboy reader, I have seen his wife's
m!nge. He hasn't seen my wife's, so who's had the last laugh? - P, Leeds.
On holiday a few years back, I took part in a quiz and managed to
reach the final only to lose out after what I consider to this day, to be a
correct answer. The question asked 'What 'C' would you associate
Jeremy Clarkson with?' to which I confidently replied '*unt'. Not only was
I told the answer was incorrect, but I was asked by the holiday rep to
leave the premises immediately! Has anyone else experienced such
appalling treatment whilst holidaying with one's family? - Noel, Leeds.
My friend's mum recently pointed out that I have the same ironing
board cover as her. Can anyone think of a more mundane and pointless remark to make than this? - Alun Daniel.
I'll never understand my neighbour. He has recently started
wheel-clamping his own caravan when he finds he has inadvertently
parked it in his own drive! I wonder if he is a sadist, a masochist or both.
- Alan Thakray.
Did anyone else feel that Mel Gibson's remake of the classic Life of
Brian wasn't anywhere near as funny as the original?
On the BBC website, I read with interest that some scientists in
Australia have discovered the smallest fish known to exist. They've
obviously never been to the Britannia Chippy on the Gloucester Road.
Alan J., London.
Hats off to the American police. They arrive at Michael Jackson's
Neverland ranch to arrest him a mere six months after he admits
climbing into bed with young boys on worldwide TV. Perhaps they should get some faster cars? - T Barnham, London.
Could the Home Secretary explain to me how biometric checks on iris
patterns and fingerprints are going to help keep tabs on Muslim
cleric Abu Hamsa? -Les, Barnsley.
How come rap artist Dr. Dre can use the 'N' word on his multi-million
selling albums and win a MOBO award, yet when I used it at my son's
football match I was asked to leave the park? Once again, it's one
law for the rich and another for the poor. - Reg Ashcroft, Bradford.
The government says that there are nearly 50,000 people with HIV in
Britain, a third of whom do not even know that they have it. Is it
just me, or is it a bit harsh that the government haven't told the poor
sods?- John Campbell, e-mail.
Never mind ventriloquists like Keith Harris and Roger DeCourcey. What
about Professor Stephen Hawking? I saw him on telly blathering on
about galaxies for hours and I never saw his lips move once. Genius. - Mike
Woods, e-mail.
With reference to that series "Manhunt" where ex-Special Forces
soldiers try to hunt down Andy McNab. Why don't the producers include a couple of Iraqis in the hunting team? They found the tw*t quickly enough the
last time he played hide and seek with them. - Shuggie, e-mail.
Hats off to the witty burglars who stole my entire CD collection with
the exception of "There is Nothing Left to Lose" by the Foo Fighters.
I hope that when sentencing, the judge takes into account their
splendid sense of humour. - Chris Scaife, Jesmond.
I see on the news that Lord Hutton says he is "satisfied that David
Kelly took his own life". He may not have liked Dr Kelly that much,
but isn't this taking gloating just a little too far? - Dave Owen, Edinburgh.
I never worry about the destination when I'm going on holiday. My dad
is Iranian and my mum is Irish, so I spend most of the time in customs.
- Stan.
What's all this nonsense about that 66-year-old Romanian woman being
the world's oldest mum? My mum's 77. Beat that. - Thomas J.
You have the VIZ annual too then
Mar 6th 2006, 2:26 pm
#6
Crazy Cat Lady
Joined: Apr 2004
Posts: 65,493
Re: Letters To Papers
Originally Posted by jad n rich
You have the VIZ annual too then
